Clowns; Joker

1. God knew you were thirsty and created water. God knew you were hungry and created rice. God knows you have no lovely friends, so he created me. However, God knows that there is no fool in the world, and he created you by the way.

3. When the Tang Priest took three disciples for a short rest, he went to Pig Bajie and said angrily, "You pig head, you still have leisure to read short messages!"

8. Bajie met an old man and asked, Shit! Yue Lao! Why did you separate me from Gao? Yue: She is a person, and you are a demon. I'm afraid your child will give birth to a shemale.

12. I saw you wandering in the supermarket the other day. You put your hand into the machine that can check the price, and the result shows: Pig's trotters 8 yuan, you think there is something wrong with the machine, so you put your head in. I almost died laughing when I saw it: pig head 18 yuan!

13. Frankly speaking, I like you very much. Your eyes, walking posture, happy expression, coquetry and cuteness, and even the way you sleep fascinate me! But what annoys me most is that you don't catch mice.

1, Dad: "You only know how to spend money, but do you know that money is hard to come by?"

Me: "Why don't you know? Every time I ask you for money, I have to listen to a class. " ~~~~

2. Money spent is money; No flowers, just paper.

3. My family lives in the Loess Plateau ~ Oh ~

You live in the ladies' room ~

4. Ask what the world is like, and make people want to vomit. ~~~~~~~~~~

5. When dealing with handsome people, you must be more handsome than him; To deal with a handsome man, you must ... ruin his face! ~~~~~~~~

6. Someone posted: I only have 3 million. Do you think it's better to buy Mercedes or Ferrari?

Someone replied: It's best to buy 300 second-hand Otto, then hire 300 drivers and let them drive behind you, while S and B have a line "~ ~ ~ ~ ~".

7. Question: Why is summer vacation necessarily longer than winter vacation?

Answer: Because it expands with heat and contracts with cold ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

8. All software that can only be installed on drive C is shameful.

9. Fighter in 9.iphone, tractor in M8 mobile phone ~ ~ ~

10, your mobile phone is cheaper than the phone bill.

1 1, dad loves me like family! !

12, the world is so big, there is no grass like you ~ ~ ~

13. If tomorrow is the end of the world, why do people want to commit suicide today?

Answer: find a seat in heaven.

14, question: an intellectual question. What's behind 228? What is behind 103? What is behind 85? All three answers are the same! Just give me the answer.

Answer: Yes. ~~~~~~~~~~

15, the restaurant ordered cucumber skin and egg soup, and the result was cucumber skin and egg soup. ~~~~~~~~

16, a key suddenly said that I am Qu Yuan, and I want to lock it up and down ~ ~ ~ ~

17, Jianghu rumor: Aunt Qiong Yao is going to write about Princess Huanzhu-Schwarzenegger ~ ~

18, the inspiration is not Cao Cao, just say it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

19, one day, I found my mobile phone missing. I searched my bag and every corner of my house, but I couldn't find it. I sat on the ground depressed, took out my mobile phone from my pocket and sent a short message to everyone: I lost my mobile phone ~ ~ ~ ~ Sorry rz. .......

20. I grabbed a big cock by the neck but didn't dare to go under the knife. After hesitating for a long time, I still strangled the chicken ~ ~ ~ ~

2 1, people! You both know each other! ~~~~~~~~~

22. At the beginning of my career, I was successful at the age of 26 and was in debt of 100,000 yuan. Looking for life, ten years without rest, wearing a star Dai Yue holding a candle to Dan, storing 100,000. Not enough to buy a house, he invested in the stock market, and the next year it shrank to more than 10 thousand, and depression became a disease. The medical insurance said that it did not meet the requirements of serious illness and refused to pay. I spent all my money in the hospital and stayed for a week without taking medicine. My friend took pity on it, gave a pack of Sanlu on credit, drank it at once and died.

23. Two farmers play pigs ~

24, learning the sea is boundless, turning back is the shore. . .

25. What's on the Da Vinci Code? Answer: Da Vinci account ............. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

26. A passer-by ran over and patted a child on the shoulder and asked him: Where is this? The child replied: This is my shoulder ... 0.

One day, there was a fudge walking in the street.

As she was walking, she suddenly said, "Oh, dear! My legs are so soft! "

Once upon a time, there was a man named Yu,

One day, he was hungry,

I ate myself. ....

A classmate named Cai Xiao was walking on the road when he was suddenly stopped. ..

Mr banana is dating his girlfriend and walking down the street. It was very hot, so Mr. Banana took off his clothes.

After ...

His girlfriend fell down.

There is a polar bear playing with a penguin. The penguin pulls off his hair one by one and pulls it out.

After ...

Say to the polar bear, "It's so cold!"

When the polar bear heard this, he tore off his hair one by one and turned to the penguin and said, "It's really cold.

!

"

One day, mung beans jumped down from the fifth floor and shed a lot of blood, turning into red beans; Has been squeezed dry and turned into soybeans.

;

The wound was scarred and finally turned into black beans.

One day, bean paste buns were walking on the road, and suddenly they had an accident and their stomachs were broken. Before he died, he looked at himself.

own

My stomach says, "Oh, I'm a bean paste bag."

The matchstick suddenly felt itchy, so I reached out to scratch it and burned myself to death.

Xiaoming got a new haircut and came to school the next day. The students saw his new hairstyle and said with a smile, Xiao Ming, your hairstyle.

okay

Like a kite! Xiao Ming felt very wronged and ran outside to cry. Crying and crying ~ he flew away ...

Once upon a time there was a bird.

He passes through a cornfield every day.

But unfortunately,

One day, a fire broke out in the cornfield.

All the corn has turned into popcorn.

After the birds fly by, ......

I thought it was snowing, so I froze. ...

There is a man who looks like an onion, crying as he walks. ..

One day, the little penguin asked his grandmother, "Grandma, am I a penguin?" "Yes, of course you are.

On tiptoe

Goose. The little penguin asks his father again, "Dad, Dad, am I a penguin?" ""Yes, you are a penguin.

how

Yao? ""But, but why do I feel so cold? "

There is a hide-and-seek club whose leader has not been found yet.

On the plane, a stewardess asked a little girl, "Why didn't the plane hit the stars when it was flying so high?"

"

The little girl replied, "I know, because the stars will shine!" " "

A pair of corn fell in love.

So they decided to get married.

Wedding anniversary

A corn can't find another corn.

This corn asks the popcorn next to it: Have you seen our corn?

Popcorn: Honey, I'm wearing a wedding dress.

One day, a medium-rare steak was walking in the street. Suddenly, he saw a medium-rare steak in front of him, but it

no

Pay attention to him

Q: Why don't they say hello?

A: Because I am not familiar with it. ..

Excuse me:

Who is Amy's mother?

-flowers, because "peanuts."

Who is Amy's father?

-It's a butterfly, and the country is a "recent flower".

Who is Amy's grandmother?

-it's a wonderful pen, because "a wonderful pen makes flowers."

There is a fat man. ..........

Jump off a tall building ...

It turned out to be .......

Fat bastard ..

One day, a green apple went out shopping and suddenly saw a red apple. He said to the red apple. ...

You have a crush on me, otherwise why are you blushing? ...

In the music class, the teacher played a Beethoven tune.

Xiaoming asked Xiaohua, "Do you know music?"

Xiaohua: "Yes"

Xiaoming: "Do you know what the teacher is playing?"

Xiaohua: "Piano."

Xiaohong asked: Do you use your right hand or your left hand to make coffee?

Xiaomei said: right hand

Xiaohong said: Oh, you are awesome. You are not afraid of scalding, just like I use a spoon.

Xiao said to Xiao B: dig the plug ... it's raining outside! ! Have you seen it?

Xiao B is very excited: Yes, I see you.

Xiaoming has been begging his mother to let him become an artist.

Mother said, "You are still young, we will talk about it later." Xiao Ming didn't give up and kept begging her.

Finally, my mother couldn't stand it anymore and flew into a rage:

"We were born with red beans and can't be artists (barley). You should give up! 」

The little snake asked the big snake brother in a panic .. "Brother, are we poisonous?" The serpent said, "Why do you ask?

"

The little snake said, "I accidentally bit my tongue just now."

Once upon a time, tomato A and tomato B went shopping together.

Then one day suddenly a truck rushed out.

Squeeze the tomato nails through.

Tomato b laughs at tomato a.

[hahaha ketchup ~]

Chocolate and tomatoes fight, and chocolate wins.

Why?

Because of the chocolate bar ~