Children's classic stand-up comedy jokes

Today we are telling the story of Journey to the West.

Four monks set out from Chang 'an and went to the Western Heaven to learn Buddhist scriptures. "Du-"did not fly for a few minutes, and the plane landed slowly: there was no oil. Wukong said, "Come on, let's go and see where there is a gas station."

The Tang Priest wondered, "Why did you refuel just after flying?"

"The fuel tank is very small, as big as a soap box, adding five dollars at a time."

"That has to be added to more!"

I added it a hundred thousand times and it hasn't arrived yet. Where is this Buddhist paradise? No, the four of us together have to ask for directions. A pinch of the brakes, "cheep! -"Wukong came down. Look, wow! What is this place? How so barren! Seeing an old man hoeing the ground, he hurried over.

Hi-hello-how are you? The old man looked back. "Why?" All right! Smells like a big stubble, Northeast China!

"Grandpa, how can I get to the Western Heaven?"

"Take a knife and put it on your neck."

"Then where is this?"

"Tieling!"

Well, on the contrary, so go back. He added more than 100 thousand oil and returned to Chang 'an.

Pig thought to himself, "Master, this is not right. When can we go if we have to walk like this? The fuel tank is too small, we have to change it to a bigger one. " Three people immediately saw the pig's big lunch box. Pig head doesn't want to do this

I can't help it I can't beat these three people. Who asked you to use such a big lunch box? This is it! This is a lunch box. Click and it will be installed. The fuel tank has become bigger, and it can add more than 20 yuan of oil at a time. Not that big. Yes! It's not easy.

"Du-"got up again. After flying for more than half a year, I added more than 20 thousand oil return. On this day, we arrived at the Flame Mountain. Fire, roar! 8848 meters, you can't fly there. Mentoring will sum up. Can you ask Princess Iron Fan to fan us? The Monkey King is the brother-in-law of Princess Tiefan, so it is ok to put on a set of porcelain.

Princess Tiefan is waiting to cook the Tang monk's meat. She saw Monkey Sun coming, can she not fight? But she is no match for the Monkey King. After a dozen rounds, you can't beat the enemy. If you are defeated, let's use magic weapons to serve. Take out the banana fan, "whoops-"There are four teachers and students, a plane, a luggage roll and a lunch box. A fan, they returned to the Tang Dynasty.

The lesson is serious and the consequences are painful. After studying, the four decided to take the Datang-6 super-large fuel tank spacecraft and go around the Flame Mountain at full speed until they learned the Buddhist scriptures in the Western Heaven.

"Whoosh-"This guy, he is in heaven, and he doesn't have to refuel for a day, making four people happy. But when we reached the border, we didn't know any of the four boys. The Tang Priest asked again, "Where is this?" Wukong scratched his head: "I don't know. It's all dirt, it's all potholes, and it shouldn't be the Western Heaven. " Pig took a banner and said, "Come, Tang Priest." Bang! It's stuck underground.

Later 1969, the spaceship came to this place again! A man came down from above, holding a small star-spangled banner in his hand, muttering, "One small step for me, one giant step for mankind!" " "So, about the moon landing, in fact, China people are ancestors.

Just when the book rules were about to get to the point, the four of them boarded the Datang 6 spacecraft again and then went to the west. When he returned to the atmosphere, Pig slammed on the brakes. At that time, the brake line jumped, hit and fell. When the four men and women saw this scene, they saw a city gate with the words "Western Paradise" written on it. Four people cried with joy.

See you at the Lei Yin Temple. Let's go Just arrived at the door, a group of people shout suddenly surrounded. "Master, would you like a plate?" "Diamond Sutra, Big Dipper, Jiuyin Zhen Jing, graphic version, video version, photo version, high compression and high definition." "One is worth a hundred."

Tang Priest's face was expressionless: "Stand down! We take the true scriptures. Resolutely combat piracy. Hey! In this world, Buddha's copyright fee is not collected. Disciples, go into the house quickly. "

When the Tathagata saw the four men in rags, he was surprised and said, "Where do beggars come from?"

The four men quickly explained, "We are monks who came from the East to learn from the Tang Dynasty. Sorry, I'm late. Because the fuel tank is too small. "

"What? The fuel tank is too small? " Four people haven't finished yet, and the Tathagata is unhappy. "Isn't it already passed?" The whole set of classics, even illustrations, recordings and live-action DV have been passed down. The mailbox is not big enough? "

The four men looked at each other, puzzled. Tathagata pointed to the computer on the desk. "Don't be gentle. Have all the scriptures been emailed? You Datang have already used my scriptures. "