Humorous declaration of quitting smoking

Selected humorous sentences about quitting smoking

1. Just made a girlfriend and went out on a date for the first time. The girlfriend said, "You see how embarrassed you are to go shopping with me when you are so busy." At that time, I didn't know how to draw a sentence: "It doesn't matter, just walk the dog." Looking at the black line on my girlfriend's face, I quickly added two sentences: "Wang ~ Wang!" Girlfriend turns anger into laughter. That was close! I'm so fucking witty!

2. My wife called me: "Husband, I rear-ended on the viaduct and hit a van. I accompanied him for 200 yuan, but he didn't want it. He had to call the traffic police. " Just listen to the owner's loud reminder, don't forget to tell her husband that this van is called Land Rover! "

3. oh, my god Open your eyes! At the end of the year, I don't want you to give me an everlasting love. I just want to check in and leave.

The warden said to a condemned man, "Before I die, I can promise you one request: I want to eat lychee.". The warden said, not this season. The condemned man said: Never mind, I can wait!

Some people smell whether they can wear socks for another day when they get up. I want to tell you, it's unsanitary! I always look at hardness.

6. Peach Blossom and Chrysanthemum flew out to play, but Chrysanthemum security failed! Why? Because chrysanthemums are explosive.

7. When I was a child, I was 3.4 years old. On the way home from school, I saw a broken wire fall to the ground (aluminum type) and then I touched it with my hand. I feel numb, have fun! Now think about how many talents I have accumulated in my last life to live today.

8. The girlfriend said to her boyfriend, "Don't quit smoking, I don't want you to quit smoking." Boyfriend asked, "What, are you afraid I can't hold on?" The girlfriend said, "No, because I know that the release pressure of men is different from that of women.

9. I am injured. You can cry, you can make trouble, you can rest on a man's shoulder and sleep peacefully. For a man, when he is tired, he won't talk to anyone but smoke. After smoking, he got up and went on living.

10. How can you live without cigarettes?