My Babylonian lover: fantasy twelve years ago, embarrassment twelve years later.

When one day, when you were a child, your imaginary prince appeared in front of you on a white horse and in a wedding dress. Will you want it when you grow up?

I watched the drama up Amway in several film and television areas in bilibili the other day. It was so embarrassing and flattering. The unique expression of that intense emotional attitude directly touched the deepest corner of my heart.

The fairy tale fantasy of girlhood, when I grow up, is quiet. This change is real and painful, and every girl who has experienced it should be able to feel the same.

Who doesn't dream of a prince at the age of teenage love seeds? We are so mediocre, but we have such beautiful fantasies.

I envy seeing so many fairy tales about the happy life of the prince and princess after marriage.

We are not princesses, but we also expect a prince.

We should ignore the rules of this world and the law that only princesses can get princes.

Therefore, in our fantasy, the prince does not love the beautiful princess, but only loves the mediocre himself.

He can ride a white horse or a dark horse, or even a half-blood prince or a frog prince. It doesn't matter, as long as he is a prince.

There must also be a beautiful princess, charming and beautiful, with magical power, who still loves the prince, but is doomed not to get him.

To show that I am a little noble and special, I turned you into my rival in love, as if I could ignore the rules of this world. You want to be a princess, you deserve to be loved, and you want to have a prince.

After all, the prince only loves me, and there will be no one else in his eyes. He was born for me and is willing to surrender to me.

We use all our imaginations to conceive an epic love story. The protagonist of the story is not a noble princess and prince, but an ordinary prince and me.

We may not want him, but give it a tragic ending, "forgive me for finally forgetting to tell you how much I like the photo of you staring at me in the crowd." Great love really needs the annotation of death. "

How to live a stable life with the prince? Danger is with you, but it is as sweet as the beginning.

The only difference between us and Chen Meiru is that she kept a diary in beautiful words, and we buried this secret fantasy in our girlhood forever.

Although Chen Meiru is introverted and self-abased, she can at least write some exciting words, at least simply believe in love and miracles. She has the desire to love and the ability to love.

But when the teacher asked her to read this diary in front of the whole class, all her fantasies came to an abrupt end.

The teacher's abuse, classmates' ridicule and sarcasm made her feel ashamed.

She understood that for her, liking someone is guilty, fantasy is wrong, and loving someone will become a scandal.

She cried and asked her friend to burn her diary, intending to say goodbye to her past self.

It was also from then on that her heart was closed and no one could get in. In this way, she lost the illusion and ability of love.

12 years later, she has become a yellow examiner, filtering indecent content on the closed network.

She enjoys the feeling of controlling others' lives and deaths, just like her former class teacher.

She accurately closed all the exposed or indecent video images, and she was relaxed and satisfied.

Finally, yes.

There is nothing wrong at last.

Finally, I drew a line with my "shameless" self in the past.

/kloc-reading aloud in public 0/2 years ago became a nightmare in her heart forever. Until 12 years later, it still haunted her and bound her. From then on, she was as calm as a machine without feelings, without a trace of romance.

Girlfriend spit her out:

Look at you. You're dead. I don't know. I thought you were 48 years old.

You think this is called controlling your life, but you are actually practicing with your hair.

On her 24th birthday, my best friend carefully prepared a grand party for her, and invited all kinds of actors, hoping to help her arouse her ability of love.

After all, happy birthday, if you are really happy.

As a result, her prince Murong Jielun appeared 12 years ago.

The dream of twelve years ago turned into embarrassment twelve years later.

Murong Jielun, a half-blood Babylonian prince, is incompatible with the modern world. His strange clothes and strange behavior brought a lot of trouble to Meiru.

What is even more unbearable is his endless rustic love stories.

The ancient love story written by hand before 12 and the hand-painted surrender scene turned into disgust and embarrassment after 12.

Is it because this love story is too corny?

No, because she can't accept love anymore.

The better Mr. Murong treats her, the more careful and caring she is, the more stressed and uncomfortable she is.

That's my business. I'm not used to people doing this for me. That's so sweet. You don't need to do anything for me, and don't expect anything from me. We're doing fine.

A lot of things, I try to do, just because I don't want to make things worse. I have long understood that life can't expect too much. The better you think, the more you will find. Therefore, between you and me, no one needs to work hard.

That's it. A woman who can't be noticed must say that she is lonely.

Chen Meiru closed her ability to accept love from the age of 12 and only accepted negative feelings. It seems that I won the audience, but in fact I didn't even win myself. She always wraps herself in a thick shell, which is obviously not good, and she can grin and smile. I'm fine.

Facing Mr. Murong's warmth, kindness and thoughtfulness, she was not cured at first, but felt darker and smaller.

Just like the ugly duckling's inferiority to the white swan.

Your goodness will only make my shortcomings more obvious.

So there was a famous scene in the temple, as beautiful as a painful confession:

Everyone, the whole world is targeting me, and I hate the whole world.

I pretend to be modest and polite. The real me disappeared after 12 years old.

I always try to smile and lose my temper. I despise everything. I get angry easily. I am a terrible person. I don't get along with the world.

I am terrible. I don't know how to make myself happy or how to make others happy.

Do you really think the world is harmonious and beautiful? It is difficult for people to live, and it is even harder for people like me.

I told you not to touch me. I am a neat freak. I'm tired of you. I'm tired of all humans. I just want to be alone.

But when Mr. Murong really turned to leave, Meiru was even more afraid: even Mr. Murong ignored me.

It is very difficult to break the hard shell and open the heart. Mr. Murong's kindness has melted a little, but people have a natural avoidance fear when they are changed, so they will be angry, outspoken and hurtful, but they often regret it afterwards.

This is obviously not what I want to say.

Chen Meiru doesn't want to see Mr. Murong. Not because he is bad, but because he is his nightmare. Without that diary, she wouldn't be humiliated in public, and so many people will remember her black history after so many years.

So she resented, avoided and rejected Mr. Murong.

But Mr. Murong has enough patience. His setting is that no matter how beautiful, he only loves beauty. It's so stupid and simple, and it's always been good to her.

I like the world, so it doesn't matter. If you hate them, I can like them for you. I laugh for you, talk to them for you, and get along with them for you. I will do it. I'll do it for you.

Hard-hearted people will also be changed.

Beauty is like opening your heart a little bit, learning to love and making peace with the world.

We can't punish ourselves with other people's mistakes just because we are hurt. In this world, other people's values are not that important.

Because you're here, I'm no longer a joke.

The plot is very fairy tale and the reality is very skinny.

Such a beautiful story is our dream, our sustenance and a warm cure.

Your childhood fantasy will not come true, your prince will not come to your side, and it will be difficult for someone to help you heal.

But what if you are the lucky one?

I hope you can really meet your prince, maybe not the one you imagined, but what does that matter?

If you really haven't met it, I hope you can heal the wound yourself.

After all, we all grew up so helpless.

Stop fantasizing about others coming to save your children.

When you grow up, you can only rely on yourself.