There is a video in Northeast Errenzhuan that contains a couplet spoken by the male protagonist.

Lines from the 2005 Spring Festival Gala skit "Kung Fu" (complete high-quality version)

Zhao Benshan: I heard that he was not a chef but switched to the anti-scam hotline, and he actually threatened to never be deceived again, cruel. The reality has hit my psychological defense line. If I don’t sell him something this year, I won’t be able to fulfill the topic I promised for three years to the audience!

Cai Weili: Master, let’s go in.

Zhao Benshan: Don’t worry, make a harassing call first!

Fan Wei: Hello, this is the see you, see you, anti-fooling consultation hotline. I am Lao Fan, who has been deceived myself. With many years of experience in being deceived, I can make a judgment on whether you have been deceived. Make a clear judgment. ~~~If someone is selling crutches, please press 1; if someone is selling a car, please press 2; if someone is asking for a brain teaser, please press 3; if someone is selling a stretcher, please dial 110!

Zhao Benshan: Hello!

Fan Wei: Hello!

Zhao Benshan: Are you Master Fan?

Fan Wei: Ah~who are you?

Zhao Benshan: I ~~~ have a question that I would like to ask you directly.

Fan Wei: Ah, you say it!

Zhao Benshan: There was an old sow in our family, with white flowers on the black field. When she got up in the morning, she opened the pen door and ran forward at a speed of 80 miles per hour. She hit a tree and died!

Fan Wei: Killed? Is there something wrong with this pig’s eyesight?

Zhao Benshan: Both eyes are 1.5!

Fan Wei: Is there any mental illness?

Zhao Benshan: I am mentally healthy now!

Fan Wei: How could he be killed?

Zhao Benshan: Because that pig doesn’t know how to do brain teasers!

Fan Wei: I said you are not very particular. You don’t play cards according to the routine. You have to press 3 to play brain teasers. In this case, I also have a question!

Zhao Benshan: You say it!

Fan Wei: It’s the Chinese New Year. Our family didn’t buy anything for the New Year. We only have one pig and one donkey left. Do you think I should kill the pig first or the donkey first?

Zhao Benshan: Then kill first~~ Give you two a chance!

Cai Weili: Donkey meat is delicious! Kill the donkey first!

Zhao Benshan: Kill the donkey first!

Fan Wei: Congratulations on your correct answer, the pig thought so too! ~~~Small,~~~~Hmph!

Zhao Benshan: Sad, I really feel sad for you. You are about to go out alone in the world. How can I feel relieved?

Wang Xiaohu: Master, kill the pig first!

Zhao Benshan: That donkey thinks so too! Let me tell you, on this issue, it won’t work if you kill anyone first! Why didn't I answer? It was because I had a problem considering him! ~~Hey, did you see it? He has grown from one neck to two calves!

Cai Weili: Master, he is so powerful. I think we should go back!

Zhao Benshan: No, I tricked him into lameness by selling crutches, and tricked him into lameness by selling cars. If I don’t get rid of him within 10 minutes, I won’t be able to be a teacher with you two!

Cai Weili and Wang Xiaohu: The master leads us in, but it’s all about the individual!

Zhao Benshan: Okay, follow my cues and go in! He's so beautiful. Look, haha, he's still running away. Where are he going?

Cai Weili: Is Chef Fan here?

Fan Wei: Hey, who? You consult ~~~ Oh, oh oh ah, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Heaven and earth, heaven and earth, which angel sister said this for me?

The pig hit the tree, you hit the pig, didn't you rear-end it? Why did it change to 3 again?

Zhao Benshan: For three years, I have missed you so much!

Fan Wei: Fooling!

Zhao Benshan: I am here to confess to you!

Fan Wei: Then lie!

Zhao Benshan: My apprentice will testify!

Cai Weili, Wang Xiaohu: Yes!

Fan Wei: I am here to form a group to deceive you. It’s a big deception. As long as we kind people are more vigilant against you, what else can you do? ah? Aren’t there just a few brain teasers! There is 1 monkey on the ground and 7 monkeys on the tree. That’s two monkeys and 8 monkeys at the same time!

Zhao Benshan: Maybe three monkeys, maybe 9 monkeys!

Fan Wei: Why has it changed again?

Zhao Benshan: A monkey is pregnant!

Fan Wei: Is it interesting?

Zhao Benshan: That’s not interesting. I’m not giving you a brain teaser in the early stages. I’m here to apologize to you! For three years, the person I feel most sorry for in this world is Chef Fan. What a good person. I often tell you, why do you think I deceived him? How loyal and honest! You hit me twice, but you can’t do it; you scold me twice, but you can’t open your mouth. In this way, I will come anyway if you forgive me, and I will come if you don’t forgive me. I will show my sincerity whether you forgive me or not. Where you come from!

Fan Wei: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, there’s still a shop!

Zhao Benshan: Pick me up!

Fan Wei: Yeah, yeah, I can stand up. I’m not sick. Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, take two steps, take two steps, eh, eh, eh, aren’t you? Everyone is watching, whatever accident happens has nothing to do with me! Why are you so dazed? Stand up quickly! If you have anything to do, please tell me quickly, okay?

Zhao Benshan: Do you want to hear it?

Fan Wei: I want to hear it!

Zhao Benshan: Do you believe it after listening to it?

Fan Wei: I will believe you as long as you stand up!

Zhao Benshan: You retreat, I can stand up!

Fan Wei: Say it!

Zhao Benshan: It’s a long story. I remember it was the first snow in 2003, which came a little later than 2002.