Strengthen strength ... leisure, leisure, quack, beg you gods.

1. The girl said: I am pregnant. The man continued to lower his head to eat and said, I had a vasectomy. The girl looked blankly for a while and said, I'm kidding you. The man looked up at her, took a sip of water and said, me too. 2. On the bus in the morning, a man took out his mobile phone from his bag to look at the time, and then said "I am Cao", thinking that his time was too late. Let me take a closer look. Cao has an air conditioner remote control in his hand. Everyone knows the big 28 bicycle with crossbeam! When I was four or five years old, I used to sit directly on the beam of my father's bike and sit sideways. After a long time, my feet would be numb and uncomfortable! Last time I went to grandma's house, I suggested sitting in the back seat, because my feet wouldn't get numb! Agreed! Haha, let's go! ! As a result, when I arrived at my destination, something terrible happened … My father forgot me, took my leg off from behind and kicked me straight away … 4. The men's and women's toilets in the school are connected. A girl forgot to bring toilet paper to the toilet. When she was embarrassed, toilet paper came from the men's room next door. The girl turned pale and asked "Who" loudly. The boy next door replied, "Lei Feng." In primary school class, the zipper of the female teacher's pants opened. A girl stood up to remind: "teacher, you didn't close the door!" " "The female teacher casually waved and said," Never mind, the dean will come to visit in a moment. "6. The teacher asked the students; What is the highest state of life? Students answer; The salary can be Saudi Arabia, living in a British house, sleeping in a passion flower in Switzerland, marrying a Korean woman, raising a mistress in Japan, having a massage in Thailand, using a German car, flying in an American plane, drinking French red wine, eating Australian seafood, smoking Cuban cigars, wearing Italian shoes, watching Austrian operas, buying a Russian villa, hiring Filipino maids, matching Israeli bodyguards and washing Turkish saunas. Teacher's comment: wordy, you just want to be a cadre in China! 7. Before, others came to menstruation's house and just entered the door. It happened that my aunt was going to the bathroom. She quickly greeted the guests and said, "Sit down, sit down, I'll go to the toilet and pour you some tea! ""8. Call Dad on Grandpa's phone. When dad answered the phone, he said, hey, dad! ? "I said, hey, dad! ? "So he scolded me ... my grandfather next to me was very happy ... 9. My brother and I were naughty when we were young, and we made trouble everywhere all day. Once we made a mistake, I was punished by my mother in the living room ... My mother was cruel enough to lose a sentence when she went out: If you don't kneel, you will die! Then I went out. We two brothers are also stubborn, kneeling, who is afraid of who! I just endured it, and after a long time, the problem came. I frowned and said to my brother, brother ... My brother didn't wait for me to finish, and immediately replied: It's urgent, right? I thanked him, he said, I'm in a hurry, too! ! then what My brother gave me a meaningful look and said, "Mom won't let me get up …" Then he came back soon and couldn't help laughing when he opened the door. Two boys are still kneeling proudly, but there are two pools of liquid in front of them, still wriggling with their bare hands. How elegant! 10. There is an old teacher in the Foreign Languages Department of our school. He is an old man with gray hair and bright eyes. He often wears an old-fashioned Chinese tunic suit, much like a national cadre in the 1950s. After retirement, the old professor gave full play to his afterheat and made a daily English learning program for international radio stations every morning. The program was broadcast live, early in the morning. Radio International is near Babaoshan, far away. So the old professor will go there before dawn every day. One day, the old professor got up late. Don't be late. Take a taxi. "Master, go to Babaoshan." In the early morning fog, the host felt cold. The old professor looked serious and said nothing all the way. Master flew all the way, and it's a long way. It's going to be broadcast live soon. The old professor grasped the master's shoulder anxiously: "Hurry up, hurry up, it will be dawn soon!" " 1 1. When I went back to my hometown in the summer vacation, I dug up my childhood composition book ... and made sentences. The car passed by me all the time ... 12. One day, a Mr. Zhang left the personnel department of the company and went to a bar. The bartender said, Mr. Zhang, I heard that you resigned recently? ! When Mr. Zhang panicked, the bartender quickly changed his mouth. I heard you were absent? ! 13. A game is being eliminated at the bottom, and the most useless person is dismissed. Suddenly, someone told Xiao Liu: "The secretary asked if you used the assessment form? "Xiao Liu hurriedly explained to the director:" I am useless! I am really useless! 14. He Xu is a double fan, referred to as Durex. 15. I took the bus today and was startled by the old man who swiped the card as soon as I got on the bus. There is only one crisp prompt saying, "student card!" " . 16. Polish President: I collapsed, so I was depressed. Lin Biao replied: Sofa, same landlord, tragedy. Kim Jong Il went on to say: It is safe to float only by train. Zhang Thread: Someone upstairs. 17 a mayor was double-detained, and the big safe at home could not be opened for a long time. Officials and experts from the CPC Central Commission for Discipline Inspection said: This is a voice-activated lock with a password of eight characters. Investigators took turns to guess: "Every man for himself, the devil takes the hindmost", "God bless, promotion and wealth", "People die for wealth, birds die for food" ... all invalid! Helpless, I took the mayor. He cleared his throat and said with a strong accent, "Be honest and clean, and govern for the people!" " The door opened, and the cabinet full of jewels shocked everyone. 18. Gender: male, hobby: female 19. A boy went to the girls' dormitory to visit his girlfriend, and the doorman in the dormitory asked him to fill out a visitor list with his name, gender, address and age ... until the last column of "relationship" was filled in, the boy thought for a long time before writing down the word "not yet happened".