Why is it difficult for parents and elders to introduce blind date?

You can't force it, but if you are poor, you will think about your child's future and marriage, and always try your best to arrange a blind date for you. But have you found that the success rate of blind date introduced by ordinary parents and elders is quite low, and even many people are disgusted with their introduction? Why do you think this is?

User 1 opinion:

The introduction of parents is a little more reliable, but most of the young people nowadays have a starting point beyond their parents' generation, and the jokes introduced by people around their parents in the circle of friends are really disdainful.

Seven aunts and eight aunts. . . Well, it's a long story.

Seven aunts and eight aunts: Little, I want to introduce you to a boy. The young man is energetic and has a good height. He is going to take the civil service exam, and his parents are helping him look at the house and the car.

Fact: The three boys who have no house, no car and no job are not necessarily taller than 1.7 meters in air-cushion shoes, and their looks are often "very average".

You gritted your teeth and ended this time, but you didn't agree. The seven aunts and eight aunts who introduced you not long ago mentioned this on a certain occasion. On the one hand, I praised myself for breaking my heart for the younger generation, on the other hand, I told my elders that this girl is more sensible, and so on.

Many elders introduced this person, and they have never even met him. At one time, they met their peers in a square dance, a walk and a market. They talk about their relatives and children, dare to introduce them before they meet them, and dare to threaten to know their roots. There is no cost anyway. If you don't succeed, you can brag to your child's parents about how much you care about the whole human feelings. If a blind cat meets a dead mouse, you can still collect a "media fee" and make a lot of money. Isn't it beautiful?

I am not a blind date agent, and I have successfully introduced 57 couples. Many people wonder why there are so many. In fact, it is all blood and tears.

What is the matchmaker's opening method?

1, know someone. Make use of years of blind date experience to help men and women meet, understand their family situation, work situation and personal situation, and then match them with a promising object. Can't I find you a king in bronze? I will double-check the things on both sides. It won't be the same thing, at least it won't be slag.

2. Match. When dozens of people see this answer, they will definitely think that I will help you communicate all night, make phone calls and send WeChat. I will never forget how I coordinated mediation when one party quarreled and misunderstood. As a matchmaker, this level is not qualified.

Step 3 surround. The ancients said "like-minded" and "different ways, no common cause." What kind of person is this matchmaker and what kind of men and women does she attract? If the matchmaker is unreliable, do you dare to let him introduce the object? This matchmaker must be a leader in the industry and a model. Only in this way can excellent people trust themselves and dare to tell themselves in detail. Even if they fail to help introduce themselves, at least they can protect their privacy and live up to their trust. It's not hard to introduce people. I received thousands of resumes. Which intimate friend's information was exposed? Which bosom friend influenced his life because he was introduced by me? You can hit me in the face in the message area.

In this contrast, the main reason for the low success rate of elders' introduction is that their strength is not allowed and they are not distracted, just driving ducks to the shelves.

Netizen 2 point of view:

For example, I just turned down a blind date today, which was introduced by my aunt. The girl is very nice, cheerful and gentle, stable in work and rich in family, but from the first day she was introduced to me, I immediately felt the pressure.

First of all, my aunt uses my phone as a pager and calls it eight times a day, but the progress is very light. She even wanted to interrogate my chat and help me make a strict plan. In the eyes of my elders, I am a fool in love. In fact, although I have little experience in feelings, I am by no means an emotional idiot. They indoctrinate me with all kinds of negative materials all day, and their children don't open the door to girls on a date, don't take the initiative to check out, and speak rudely. . . In fact, I understand all this, but they still think I am a stingy, naive and vulgar person, which will make anyone unhappy.

Secondly, my aunt and her mother's best friend are good friends. The process of my blind date with her is simply an excellent talk for my aunts. I haven't met her yet. Almost all the relatives of the two families know about us, and they are all analyzing who is doing well and who is not. Of course, the pressure is mainly on me. The whole blind date process is like a live broadcast, which makes me have no privacy at all.

Finally, elders like to make decisions for you. The elders introduce you to show that they are very satisfied. If you have other ideas, you will be scolded and said that you are too picky. Even if you are in love, there will still be the participation of your elders. They will interfere with everything from love to marriage, and even interfere with your married life. Because they feel that they contributed to this matter, they have the right and obligation to continue to follow up and even continue to make decisions for you. This is absolutely unacceptable to me. No matter how good each other's conditions are, married life is a matter for two people after all. If you want to be the master of your own life in the future, what freedom is there in marriage?

Netizen 3 point of view:

The introduction of parents and elders has a characteristic. If you compromise the first step, you must compromise the second and third steps.

Blind date is a low success rate, but it is a high success rate for parents. Everyone's standards are different from the beginning. With parents, unless there are some principled problems, such as being too poor at home and too grumpy, nothing else can be a reason to refuse. Looks, not liking these are not reasons.

And don't believe all kinds of "enlightening" remarks made by parents before blind date:

"Talk about it yourself, we won't interfere."

"If you can't meet first, let's talk first."

"See more faces and spend more time together. How can you refuse so quickly? "

"About the same, what are you looking for? You don't look at your own conditions! "

So don't go if your parents are not very open-minded. If you want to take a chance, tell your parents and referees in advance, and don't be angry if you don't succeed.

Netizen 4 point of view:

There is some truth in what is said upstairs, but I personally think that the elders are in a hurry. If it's introduced by a friend, it's usually just a matchmaking service, so that you can develop in the future without psychological pressure. But both parents stare at each other every day and ask, if you don't feel it, they say that feelings can be cultivated. Let's contact first. You said to contact first, and they would say that you talk about friends everywhere. If you say you are moved, they will urge you to get married. They will always be ahead of you. After all, love at first sight is rare, and this fast pace is generally uncomfortable …

Netizen 5 point of view:

As an example of successful blind date introduced by parents and elders, I feel that the success rate of blind date introduced by friends and colleagues is not high either.

The success of blind date lies not in who introduced it, but in the mentality of the introducer. Parents and elders are cautious in the early stage, and all aspects are measured to be successful. Friends and colleagues, these peers, in view of the fact that you are both single, try it. This kind of mentality introduction does not understand or ignore the temperament requirements of both sides, and it is unsuccessful.

If we must say that the blind date introduced by parents and elders is difficult, except that most people don't live in the same city with their parents now, or their parents and elders are more casual and think that heterosexual singles meet the standards for introducing children; Either parents and elders care too much about the situation after the introduction, feel that the introduction is good, and ignore personal needs and guidance; Another possibility is that parents and elders completely ignore their children's positioning and advantages and disadvantages in the blind date market, and close their eyes to find their own ideas, regardless of their children's ideas, such as good economic conditions, organization, well-informed and easy to handle. These "advantages" force children to get along with them, completely ignoring the reality that the two sides don't have any common language and can't have feelings.

As a way of understanding, blind date determines whether the two sides can succeed after knowing each other, and the relationship depends on the introducer to a certain extent. If the introducer is familiar with the situation, clear-headed and impartial, no matter whether the introducer is an elder or a colleague, he can get along well. After all, compared with free love, the advantage of blind date is that you can know some things that are not easy to ask in advance, such as income, family conditions, parents' work, personal work ability and even parents' and personal conduct. You can know all the tacky parts before you know it. If both sides accept each other's "hardware", you only need to know each other before considering the emotional "software".

Netizen 6 point of view:

After two breakups introduced by my parents, I decided to refuse them.

Because as long as we don't get along, whether it's my fault or not, it's my fault. Even if the other party doesn't even leave me bones, or I'm not tolerant enough, I won't suffer.

My dad, in particular, always feels that he is not suitable and can't continue, so he feels that he is not good anywhere. The reason is that the other family is so good and the other parents are so good. It is normal for the other party to think so.

Feeling affects the harmony of family relations.

So I refused to be introduced by my parents and people around my parents.

Netizen 7 point of view:

Because of the generation gap.

After several blind dates, I told my mother that if I met a strange blind date again, I would rather be single than get married all my life. My mother was too scared to give me a blind date again.

Now my parents' blind date gives me the feeling that pets are breeding. How are your children's conditions and mine? Looks almost the same. Come and see what cats you have and what cats I have.

Let the children develop freely after meeting. Two cats were locked together to see if they could mate. After a while, they asked obliquely what was going on. How are the children? Are they pregnant?

Boys that my elders think are "good" may not be my type either. After all, everyone has different views on marriage.

The elders think that "you must get married so that others will take care of you when I am old"-I think that "I can't take care of anyone by myself".

The elders think that "he is a good man who provides financial support to his family without cheating and domestic violence"-I think that "a normal person will not cheat without domestic violence".

Even if you go out to eat with a blind date, because the other person is too reluctant to order food and tells the elders that they don't want to continue their relationship, the elders will feel that "maybe they didn't order much food" and "the children raised by a more economical family are also more economical". Told me to wait a little longer, and finally found out that the other party was a wonderful work.

Even if you start a blind date, you will find each other very coquettish in the process of communication. All the elders also advised me to give it another chance. I didn't feel completely at ease until he said he would get pregnant before getting married.

It's not that they don't love me, but I'm always too sensitive and grumpy, and I am who I am. Too much is too annoying.

Their concept of mate selection is completely different from ours. The person they choose who feels "good" is not suitable for me.

Netizen 8 point of view:

My mother chose a blind date for me, and that battle was comparable to the emperor's choice of concubines, ah bah, and the queen mother's choice of concubines.

Don't be too rich, too poor, too high, too short, too high, too low, too busy and too idle. It depends on other suites. There are too many rooms.

After the primary election, we should inquire about each other's parents' work units at home, and then try to ask people to understand their parents' personality, try to understand the young man's personality and talk to others.

According to my mother's understanding of me, the candidates who can flow out of her hands have at least the same family conditions as the boys themselves, and the boys and their parents must be dignified and reliable. Besides, my mother has a good aesthetic and will definitely not be ugly.

To sum up, on the blind date, we hit it off as soon as we met and talked nonstop. We are good-looking, our jobs are stable and our wages are good. His family has the same number of houses as mine, the same education, and his parents have a good job, so they don't worry about providing for the elderly. His home is super close to mine, and it takes 10 minutes to walk from one home to another. The growing environment is similar, and the three views are more suitable.

I have to say, my mother is really good at judging people.

Blind date is instant success, and the process is very happy.

Take wedding photos next month.