Who, tell me a joke?

1. One person scolds another person: "I really want to spit a bubble in your face!" 2. A buddy in our dormitory grabbed someone else's buns to eat, and said while eating, "This thing is only enough to stuff your ass." 3. A girl in our dormitory fiddled with another girl classmate's bangs: "It looks like a dog's paw scratched it." 4. In the university dormitory, someone drank someone else's boiling water and jumped up, shouting, "Damn, it's so hot that pigs can't stand it." My junior high school classmate likes to touch others' heads. One day he touched others' heads and said, "My head is quite round!" Bored, the classmate pulled his hand away and said, "Don't make trouble for me here!" " "The Seven Monsters of Jiangnan in Mongolia: I said Jinger, I don't know if you are fake or really stupid. After so many years on the grassland, you don't know how many sheep you have put! Guo Jing: No way, Master. I will fall asleep while counting goats ... On the grassland, Guo Jing just stroked the little red horse ... Guo Jing: Ah, Third Master ~ ~! My horse turned out to be a bloody BMW! ! ! Han Baoju: (The child is so simple that he hasn't even seen his period. ) Ke Zhene: You are a slow-heating Jinger. After teaching for so long, I still can't learn! Han Baoju: You are still so stubborn. You don't shout, you don't scream, you don't hide, you don't kneel! ! ! Guo Jing: (Teacher ... Father ... I'm going to die ... If you hadn't hung me from the tree ... and blocked my mouth with socks ...) At night, the seven eccentrics in the south of the Yangtze River groped their way to the top of the cliff. Ke Zhene: Jinger sneaks around every day. Let's split up and see what's strange here Zhang Asheng: ... Big Brother, here ... there are a bunch of round skulls! Ke Zhene: My God! Feel it quickly. Are there several deep finger holes on each skull? Zhang Asheng: Yes ... Brother, why are you so scared? Ke Zhene: This is the iron corpse Mei Chaofeng who killed my eldest brother Ke in order to ward off evil spirits ... She must be teaching Jing Er to practice the nine-yin white bone claw ... I really want to avenge my eldest brother ... It's a pity that her martial arts is a little higher than mine ... Zhu Cong: But today you already have us! Ke Zhene: Idiot! It is because of you that she is a little taller than me ... At the same time, Guo Jing wondered behind the stone: Strange, what are the masters studying around my bowling so late? Guo Jing: Anson Tuo Lei, I see your appetite is getting smaller and smaller! Tuo Lei: Anda, Guo Jing, this is your visual error-you suddenly returned to a relatively open place like Mongolian grassland from the south, and your eyes haven't adapted yet. Temujin: Heroes-who will perform archery for me? Guo Jing: Khan, look at me ~ Guo Jing drew his bow and aimed at a black sculpture in the sky ... whoosh, I saw Zhe Bie fall off his horse and hang up. Guo Jing said, damn it, it doesn't count this time! Guo Jing drew his bow again, and took aim at a white eagle .....................................................................................! I saw Bolshoy fall off his horse and die. Guo Jing said, damn it, I missed it again! Start over-Guo Jing took out another arrow and was about to open the bow ... I saw Tuo Lei "plop" and knelt down: Please, Anda, aim at me this time. There are six rich people, namely a Japanese, a Russian, a French, a Norwegian, a German and an American. They go shopping together. Being rich, they have little to buy. Only those strange things can attract their attention. It happened that the mall was hyping the art toilet that had just entered, and all six rich people stopped to watch it. After reading it for a while, one of them suggested, "This novel toilet is really unusual. How about buying one and trying it? "Because they are all rich people, no one wants to fall behind, and everyone is ready to buy one. The Japanese love cleanliness, so they bought a "super sanitary toilet"; Russians like things with texture, so they bought a "granite toilet"; The French value art, so they bought a "painted toilet"; Norwegians like wood products, so they bought a "pure wooden toilet"; Germans advocate high technology, so they bought a "computer-controlled toilet"; Americans pay more attention to freedom and relaxation, so they bought a "music toilet". Six people happily carried the toilet home. A month later, six people got together again at a business meeting. In the process of chatting, the topic unconsciously turned to the toilet they bought last time. The Japanese were filled with indignation and spoke first: "I returned the damn super sanitary toilet." The instructions say that after each use, the toilet will be automatically disinfected, and the toilet seat will be covered with plastic film and sprayed with the words "disinfected, please feel free to use". But now the program is all messed up. Before I got up, it started spraying plastic film on my ass! Now I have written' Disinfection, please feel free to use' on my ass! The Russian then complained, "Damn granite toilet, I also returned it." These people polished the granite so smoothly that they slipped and fell several times as soon as they sat on it. It's inconvenient, but their asses are bruised. "I don't want to fall behind," the Frenchman scolded. "I also returned the damn painted toilet. The printing quality of the painted toilet is too poor. The color is always fading, and now the pictures on the toilet seat are running! "The Norwegian also flew into a rage:" Damn wooden toilet, I also returned it! What qualities? I don't know if it was inspected before leaving the factory. I also said that it is completely managed according to ISO9000. It's convenient for me to gather together, it's all wood residue! " The Germans couldn't bear it at this moment: "The damn computer completely controls the toilet, and I want it back! I don't know what operating system to use, and it always crashes. Halfway through my speech, it began to shout:' Now the toilet computer crashed, please put on your pants and stand up, cover the toilet seat, cover the toilet seat, then open the toilet seat, open the toilet seat, then take off your pants and sit down again, and the toilet computer can be restarted. Thank you. The telephone number for technical support is 12345678. "Hum! Finally, it was the American's turn. He said angrily, "Damn music toilet, I can't do it unless I return it! It was originally said that it has 3000 songs, which can be played randomly at your convenience. As a result, nine times out of ten, the same song-home of the brave was played, which made Lao Tzu have to lift his pants and stand up to salute as soon as he sat down.