Funny sentences about love

I stay in the depths of my memory, looking for the remaining happiness. Below are the funny sentences about love that I compiled, take a look.

1. When a person tells you to come to the bowl, it means he likes you. Why?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Because you are my bowl and I am your food!

2. When a girl tries to be cute and says good night to you, he feels that you are different from others in his heart and you deserve to have a spare tire and a mention. Payment machine, encyclopedia, data filter, scanning machine, free post-production, free photography, free logistics, and free food courier. . . . . .

3. Being single is a mountain road, falling in love is a high road, breaking up is a fork in the road, trial marriage is a way to explore, marriage is a dead end, divorce is a way to survive, bigamy is a highway, no lover is a waste road, and many lovers are It's a dead end. Hey, which way are you going?

4. Little girls dream of finding a white horse. When they open their eyes, they find that the world is full of gray donkeys. After being heartbroken, they just want to find a white horse. If you can pick a strong one from the donkeys, such a donkey will be named: Affordable Male!

5. A girl’s status: Looking for a man who is like a sanitary napkin, tolerant, tolerant, and Absorb away worries~ ~ ~

6. Money keeps so many people who love each other from being together, and makes so many people who don’t want to love sleep together!

7. A man found his son after get off work He put a condom on his head and scolded his son. The son said aggrievedly: We will have a show tomorrow. Some will play good guys and some will play bad guys. I asked the teacher what I should play? The teacher said, "You are stupid!"

8. In the bar, the man was complaining to his friends. The man complained: "I just shook hands with my girlfriend a while ago, and she actually got pregnant!" The friend was shocked: "Are you sure? You can get pregnant if you shake hands." The man said tangledly: "Hey, I don't like washing hands. , I didn’t expect her too (super connotation)”!

9. Sun Wukong: Release my master quickly, or don’t blame me for using the magic weapon! Spider Spirit: I’m not afraid of you! Wukong took out a 4G USB flash drive, Spider Sun Wukong's face changed drastically, and Wukong took out another 250G hard drive. Spider Spirit rolled his eyes and asked in a trembling voice: "Who gave it to you?" Sun Wukong: "Spider-Man". Spider Spirit vomited blood: Damn it, ex-boyfriend!

10. A: "Tell me a tragedy"? B: "The man had a sterilization and his wife had a miscarriage." A: "Is there anything more tragic?" B: "The man had a sterilization and his wife got pregnant."

11. The doctor said to the patient who was about to undergo surgery: "This operation has some risks. If it fails, it will cause paralysis of the left side of your body." The patient immediately touched the lifeline with his hand. The doctor asked, "What are you doing?" The patient said, "I'll move it to the right side."

12. My wife cried on the Internet and said that her husband named his daughter after his first love. She also said that she always knew that her husband once loved that first love very much. I thought I was the happiest person, but now I know that my husband has never forgotten his first love! A netizen replied: In fact, your husband wants to tell his first love: Nima!

13. Take advantage of your classmates to take a shower , changed his girlfriend’s number on his phone to mine. At night, while lying in bed, I sent him a text message, "Hubby, I'm pregnant." I saw the guy suddenly turned over and got out of bed, smoked a pack of cigarettes, and asked the dormitory person to borrow money!

14. The phone vibrated, and there was a message "I decided to confess"! He He has always been a good friend with her, but she has always loved him, "Oh... then come on". "I've been outside her house for a long time and didn't dare to knock on the door." "Have the courage to knock! I support you!" "Do you think she will agree?" "I don't know." She put down the phone and cried in frustration. The phone vibrated again, but it was a call. She answered it... "Please open the door, I still dare not knock."

15. In high school, the school was under closed management. We could only climb over the wall when we went out to play, but only one classmate walked out directly from the gate. He is not tall, a little fat, likes to wear suits, and he doesn't shave his beard. Every time he goes out, the security guard asks him: "How was the talk with the teacher?" He slaps his thigh and looks like he is cursing. : "I'm a very worried kid, fighting all day long! Come on, let's smoke a cigarette to calm down.

16. Humor is when a person wants to cry but still has the interest to laugh!

17. I can choose to give up, but I cannot give up my choice.

18. Women like bad-looking men, not bad-looking men.

19. Eat your own food, use the standard of not being hungry, and eat your friends’ food. , take the standard of being full, eat the boss's meal, take the standard of eating well. Eat the food of the public, take the standard of not being able to die.

　20. The most desolate and funny thing is not that you know, losing everything At the moment of love, you are still lingering, and you still don't know that you have lost it.

21. When in love, be like a grandson, obedient; after engagement, be like a son, learn to talk back; after marriage, be like Lao Tzu, giving orders.

22. Beautiful women have many love stories, but less beautiful women have more love stories.

23. It is better to live a beautiful life than to look beautiful!

24. When the boss uses you, you are a talent; when the boss does not use you, it becomes a layoff!

25. There are only two seasons of excessive love: cute and unlovable; in the night sky of love, there are only two sounds: lucky and unlucky; on the road of love, there are only two scenes: mine and ours.< /p>

26. If you don’t love him anymore, don’t show off to him. Showing off to him just means that you still care about his thoughts and you are still obsessed with him. When he sees this embarrassment, he will only believe that you never did. Forgot about him.

27. There are no other problems with being single, only the problem of beautiful single girls and unbeautiful single girls.

28. Half of life is unlucky, the other half is how to deal with it.

29. Those who praise each other are officials, and those who look down on each other are artists, and do not tell the truth when meeting each other. Those who do business are those who do business.

30. You can’t overachieve in learning, let alone fall behind, otherwise children will have no childhood, youth will have no youth, middle-age will have no fun, and old age will have no leisure.

31 , Men have the idea of ????getting married after their careers fail, and women have the idea of ????getting married to men when they succeed in their careers.

32. The more deeply loved a husband is by his wife, the more mature he is, and the more pampered a wife is, the more immature she is.

33. The temperature of love is like bath water. It’s not that the hotter the better, but that you feel comfortable.

34. Don’t believe in roses. This thing is expensive and perishes easily. If you want to believe it, just believe my three drops of tears that are 100 degrees Celsius - I love you! As long as you give me a glass of water every day, I can shed it for you every day!

35. There is a classroom in the university. There is something wrong with the wall clock inside. As long as it is knocked by something, it will go faster and faster. Once it is hit, it will go faster by 5 minutes. One day, the professor was in class and found that his classmates were throwing erasers at the clock while he was writing on the blackboard. However, the professor kept silent and continued to ring the bell to start and finish class. Not long after, the final exam came and everyone was immersed in the exam. They saw the professor holding a blackboard eraser and practicing clock throwing.

36. Xiaoyun: On the bus, a man asked the person next to him in a low voice, "Are you Li Gang"? The answer: "No", "Is your father Li Gang"?, "No" , "Do you have any relatives or friends named Li Gang?" "No," the man said angrily, "Then quickly let go of your foot, you have stepped on me!"

　37. Two people After being separated for many years, we met unexpectedly in a city. Male: "How are you?" Female: "Okay." Man: "How is he?" Woman: "Okay" The woman asked: "How are you"? The man replied: "Okay". Woman: "How is she?" Man: "She just told me she is fine."

38. Failed math? Normal! Do you need to use functions when you go shopping for groceries? Failed politics? Normal! China has 1.3 billion people. Is it your turn to be the president of the country? Failed in Chinese? Normal! Do you need to use rhetorical techniques when swearing? Failed in physics? Normal! Do you need to consider air resistance when you jump from a building? Failed in geography? Normal! !You still don’t know the way home?

39. One day, a friend who was stuck in a traffic jam in Beijing for several hours finally couldn’t bear it anymore. He opened the car door angrily, opened the trunk, and pulled out the car from the inside. Take out a long wooden stick. All the people in the traffic jam looked at him in surprise. They saw him yelling and smashing a snail on the ground to pieces. While banging, he cursed: "Look, you still dare to follow me!"