Ten selected jokes: Diaosi chased the class beauty. How did you get the class beauty?

Ten Daily Selected Jokes 1: A poor guy in my dormitory found the class beauty. He was surprised and asked for advice, "Excuse me, how did you get the class beauty?" "I don't know either. Ah, I confessed my love to her, but she said she wouldn’t take a photo of herself by peeing, so she held my hand while I was peeing.”

Top 10 Jokes of the Day 2: Teacher. : "Do you think it's wrong for the teacher to punish you?"

Student: "It's just wrong. I did what you said, how could it be wrong!"

Teacher: "How should I teach? "Your"

Student: "You teach us to have wolf nature and use wolves as totems..."

Teacher: "Shut up, you pervert, I didn't teach you You teased a female classmate!”

Top 10 Jokes of the Day 3: The spider is getting married to the bee. Spider asked his mother: "Why do you want me to marry Bee?" Spider mother said: "Bee is a bit nagging, but she is a stewardess after all." Spider said: "I prefer Miss Mosquito." Spider mother said: "Don't mention it. That little nurse, the last time my mother got sick, she got edema.”

Ten Daily Selected Jokes 4: I went to the night market with my girlfriend, and she spotted something at a stall. The boss asked for 30 for a small item, and the girlfriend asked: "Can it be cheaper?"

The boss disagreed, so the girlfriend negotiated the price to 20, "I didn't bring much money when I went out for a walk, so it's only 20."

Just when the boss was about to agree, I added: "I still have money."

My girlfriend snapped, turned around and left, so angry that she didn't buy anything.

Hehe, a slap of 20 yuan is worth it!

Ten Daily Selected Jokes No. 5: I was taking the bus to work and a thief stole my wallet. I discovered and caught him... He said to me in surprise: Brother, this reaction... …True God! sharp! Me: God, sister, my pants and bags are leaking. I didn’t wear long johns today. Not to mention your tweezers, you pinched my leg hair.

Ten Daily Selected Jokes 6 : Every day at lunch, I sit with Tingting and the other girls. They all choose meat for me if they don’t want to eat it.

While I was eating, I received a message on WeChat. When I opened it, I saw that it was my uncle who was looking for me. , the old uncle never typed, he always used voice chat with me

I opened WeChat~~The old uncle said in a loud voice: Dabao, how is your hemorrhoids now? Is there still blood when you defecate? ? The weather is getting colder and colder...

Ten Daily Selected Jokes No. 7: A buddy went to a hotel to date a female netizen at night, and the two became inseparable after turning off the lights. This guy touched the female netizen's clothes and said, "Honey, your clothes are fluffy, mink, right? Take them off quickly!"

Female netizen: "I took off my clothes a long time ago ! "

The buddy fell off the bed with a plop. . .

Ten daily selected jokes 8: Nowadays, people have to use cranes to go up to the floor. In the past, we had to ask people to lift it up. I remember when I built a kitchen at home, I hired a few people to lift the floor, and I also helped. I was tired after carrying a few pieces, so I asked everyone to rest, smoke a cigarette and drink some water.

When I was lifting it again, my neighbor’s sister-in-law stopped me and said, “Brother, you don’t have to carry it anymore.” My sister-in-law will help you carry it. Your brother has been out for a few months, and he just has nowhere to go.

I'm doing it one by one

Ten selected jokes of the day No. 9: My girlfriend went downstairs to pick up a courier, and when she came back she wanted to break up with me: "You don't even think about it. You don’t love me!”

I looked confused: “Isn’t it genuine? Did I buy the wrong brand again?”

My girlfriend said with resentment: “The courier even found out. My nails have changed color, but you haven’t!”

Ten Daily Selected Jokes No. 10: Once upon a time, before he died, there was a rich man who said to his two sons, “Let’s go chop wood and see who can chop it.” A lot and fast.

Early in the morning, the eldest son went up the mountain to chop wood with a knife, and the second son also went to sharpen the knife.

In the evening, the second son did the most chopping.

The rich man saw it and said to his two sons, give the family property to the eldest son, since the second son is so capable