Recommend a few hilarious jokes to earn points!

1. One Saturday afternoon, Xiaoying came back from tutoring and sat in the living room doing homework. Suddenly the doorbell rang, and Xiaoying hurried to open the door. She saw a handsome and tall man standing there. When she was wondering who he was, her mother came out of the kitchen, saw him, smiled happily and said, "You are finally here!" Then she turned back to Xiaoying and said, "Call daddy!"

Xiaoying thought to herself: Who is this man? Why should I call him dad? Could it be that mom...

She said nothing and remained silent. Seeing that Xiaoying didn't move at all, her mother said to her again: "Call me dad!" Xiaoying was still indifferent, staring at her mother and the man with wide eyes, and decided to use silence to represent her last human dignity.

My mother said loudly and threateningly: "Hurry up and call daddy! "Xiaoying and her mother were in a stalemate.

My mother was anxious and angry. She stretched out her right hand and slapped Xiaoying, and shouted: "Call daddy! Why are you standing there in a daze? "

Xiaoying was stunned. She didn't expect that her mother would beat him for a strange man. Xiaoying cried sadly and said to the stranger: "Dad...Dad..."

My mother looked surprised and said: "You idiot~~~~~~~~ You call daddy like this, can he hear it? People are coming to repair the water tower. Go to the room and call Dad and take him to the top floor! "

2. Once upon a time, there was a man named Zheng Xiding who married a daughter-in-law.

On the morning of the second day of the wedding, his wife got up and found that Zheng Xiding was missing, so she went out to look for her.

When she went out, she saw that her father-in-law, Zheng Xiding’s father, was washing his face, so the daughter-in-law asked,

Dad, where is Xiding?

The father-in-law looked at it coldly. She glanced at her and said nothing.

The daughter-in-law was a little angry and said loudly,

Dad, where is Zheng Xiding?

The father-in-law was also very angry and replied angrily,

Wash your face!

3. When I was in junior high school, the biology teacher was talking about the ecological environment on the African grasslands. No one in the class listened, and he said in anger: "You are all looking at me. ! If you don’t look at me, how do you know what an African wild cat looks like? ”

4. A cannibal father and his son were hunting. The son captured a thin man. The father said: “Let go, there is no meat!” The son captured a fat man again. The father said: “Let go, it’s too greasy!” The son captured again. A beautiful woman, her father said: Take her home and eat your mother at night

5. He opened a noodle shop, but he always closed before 12 o'clock,

No matter how good the business is. One day, a woman came. It was almost 12 o'clock.

The boss said sincerely, I am closing. You can come back tomorrow. I don't want the woman to be more sincere. He said,

Brother, I’m so hungry, just make me a bowl of noodles. I’ll leave after eating. The boss is nice, so I made a bowl of noodles for you. For her, the time was approaching 12 o'clock little by little. The boss urged the woman again and again.

The terrible 12 o'clock finally arrived. Amidst the urging of the boss, the woman finally stopped eating noodles.

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Slowly she raised her head, which had been buried deeply, and through the heat rising from the noodle bowl,

The boss saw that her chin was all bright red. His heart jumped to his throat,

All the blood in his body rushed to his head. He turned around and wanted to escape, but he heard the woman's terrifying voice: Boss, don't rush me, I'm eating fast enough. Yes, you can see my mouth is bleeding~

6. After Xiao Ming went to the toilet, he returned to the classroom and said to the teacher:

There are a lot of ants in the toilet,

The teacher suddenly thought of the English word ant, so he tested Xiao Ming: How do you say ant?

Xiao Ming looked confused... and said:

Ant... ......... said nothing...

7. One day, Mr. Wang drove home.

Suddenly, a Daiben passed by him. When it passed him, the driver shouted to him:

"Brother, have you ever driven a Daiben?" After that, " "Whoosh!" It soared far away.

Mr. Wang was very angry and stepped on the accelerator to catch up.

As soon as he was about to catch up, the driver stuck out his head and shouted at him:

"Brother, have you ever driven a Daben?" Then, "whoosh" disappeared again. .

"Damn, what the hell!" After scolding Mr. Wang, he felt a little better and stopped chasing.

After driving for a while,

Mr. Wang saw the Mercedes-Benz overturned on the side of the road. He was curious and drove closer slowly.

The driver was pinned under the car and said feebly:

"Brother, have you ever driven a Mercedes-Benz? Do you know where its brakes are?"..

8.1. The last thing you want to happen when grilling meat:

1) The meat pretends to be cooked; 2) The charcoal becomes cold; 3) The gecko closes itself; 4) The barbecue grill splits ; 5) The fire is not planted; 6) The meat and the shelf form a clique; 7) The sausage meat plays gangster tricks with you; 8) The black wheel blows out; 9) The green onions pretend to be garlic with you; 10) The corn plays hard with you

9. A hungry wolf is looking for food. I hear a family member lecturing a child: If you cry again, I will throw you out to feed the wolf! However, the child cried all night...

The next morning, the wolf sighed: Alas... human words don't count!

10. There is a student at HKUST who is about to graduate as a senior and still has no job or girlfriend. So, he went to tell fortunes.

You will remain in poverty until you are forty years old...

The student's eyes lit up after hearing this, thinking that there was a change, so he asked: What next?

Then you get used to this kind of life...