Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - What happened after Fan Jin was promoted?

What happened after Fan Jin was promoted?

Fan Jinzhong returned home after being a scholar, and his mother and wife were very happy. Is preparing to cook, I saw his father-in-law butcher hu, holding a pair of large intestine and a bottle of wine, came in. Fan Jin bowed to him and sat down. Butcher Hu said, "I was unlucky to marry my daughter to you, a shameful guy. I don't know how tired I am for many years."

Now I don't know what virtue I have accumulated, so that you can get good luck and win a scholar. I'll bring you a wine to congratulate you. "Fan4 jin4 repeatedly promised that his wife would cook the intestines, boil the wine, and sit under the thatched shed. Mother and daughter-in-law are cooking in the kitchen. Butcher Hu also ordered Fan Jin to say, "Now that you have passed the examination for a scholar, you should establish a rule for everything.

For example, my industry is full of respectable people and your elders. How dare you pretend to be big in front of us? If these farmers and dung pickers are just ordinary people at home, if you bow to them as an equal, it will break the rules of the school, and even my face will lose light.

You are a rotten, honest and useless person, so I have to teach you these words so as not to make people laugh. "Fan Jin said," My father-in-law taught me. "Butcher Hu added," My mother also came here to sit and eat. It must be very sad for the old man to eat some side dishes every day. My daughters also come to eat some.

I don't know if I have eaten lard two or three times since I entered your house for more than ten years! Poor thing! Poor! " Say that finish, both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law came to sit and eat. By midnight, Butcher Hu was drunk. Mother and son, thank you so much. The butcher wore clothes across his face and left with a belly.

The next day, Fan Jinshao was not allowed to visit his village neighbors. Wei was curious and made an appointment with a group of friends who took the exam together. Because it is the year after having obtained the provincial examination, I attended several literary meetings. I don't know that by the end of June, all the scholars who took the exam asked Fan to go in for the provincial examination.

Because Fan Jin didn't have the travel expenses, he went to discuss with his father-in-law. Butcher Hu spat in his face and scolded a dog, saying, "Don't waste your time any longer! If you think that you have won a scholar, you will get up. I heard that when you were a scholar, it was not because your article was well written, but because the scholar thought you were too old and had a hard time, so I gave it to you. Now I want to lift someone in my wishful thinking!

These people are all' Wenquxing' in the sky! Don't you see those juren in Zhang's house in the city have a lot of money, and they are big in every respect? Like you, you should take a piss and take a look at yourself! No three no four, just want to eat swan meat! Take this heart early, find a teaching place for you in my industry next year, earn a few taels of silver every year, and support your old lady and your wife!

You asked me for money. I can't make any money by killing a pig in one day. I'll throw all the money in the water and ask my family to drink the northwest wind! " Fan Jin, who was scolded, didn't know where to start. When my father-in-law came back after leaving, he thought to himself, "The teacher said that the time has come for me to write an article. Since ancient times, I have never been able to take an exam without entering the examination room. How can I be content if I don't take an exam?"

so I discussed with several people who were taking the exam together, and went to the city to have an after-school exam without telling my husband. Go home immediately after leaving the examination room. My family has been hungry for two or three days. Being known by butcher Hu, he was scolded again.

On the day when the list was released, there was no rice at home. My mother told Fan Jin, "I have a hen that lays eggs. You should quickly collect it and sell it. Buy a few liters of rice to cook porridge. I am so hungry that I can't see in both eyes. "Fan4 jin4 hurriedly hugged the chicken and walked out the door. Less than four hours after I left, I only heard the sound of gongs gathering, and three horses broke through the future.

The three men got off the horse and tied it to the thatched shed, shouting, "Please ask Master Fan to come out quickly. Congratulations!" Mother didn't know what it was, and she was scared to hide in the house; Only when I heard that I won did I dare to stick my head out and explain, "Please sit down, everyone, before the child went out." Those who signed up said, "It turned out to be an old lady." Everyone crowded around for money.

It was just the noise, and several horses arrived in two directions and three directions. The house was crowded with people, and the thatched shed was full. The neighbors are all here, crowded to see. The old lady had no choice but to beg a neighbor to look for Fan Jin.

The neighbor ran to the collection and couldn't find it anywhere. Until I found the east of the market, I saw Fan Jin holding a chicken and putting a straw label in his hand, wandering step by step, looking around and looking for someone to buy it there. The neighbor said, "Fan Jin, hurry back! Congratulations on your winning the prize and crowding into a room with good news. "Fan4 jin4 thought he was coaxing him, so he pretended to be inaudible and walked forward with his head down.

When neighbors saw him ignoring him, they came forward and tried to grab the chicken in his hand. Fan Jin said, "Why did you rob my chicken? You don't buy it. " The neighbor said, "You won the lottery and told you to go home and send those applicants. "Fan Jin said," Gao Lin, you know I don't have rice today. I want to sell this chicken to save my life. Why did you lie to me with these words? I'm not kidding you. Go home by yourself, and don't delay my selling chicken. "

When the neighbor saw that he didn't believe it, he grabbed the chicken very quickly, threw it in the ground and pulled Fan Jin back. The recorder saw it and said, "Well, the upstart is back." Just about to hug him and talk, Fan Jin fled into the room in two or three steps, and saw that the reply post in the middle had been hung up, which read: "Good news, your master, Fan Biao, entered the seventh Asian dollar in Guangdong after having obtained the provincial examination in high school. Beijing News Lian Deng Huangjia. "

it's good that Fan Jin didn't read it. He read it again, clapped his hands, smiled and said, "Hey! All right! I won! " As he spoke, he fell back, clenched his teeth and was unconscious. The old lady panicked and hurriedly poured a few mouthfuls of boiling water in. He got up, clapped his hands again and laughed aloud: "Hey! Ok! I won! " Laughing, he threw himself out and ran outside, which startled the reporter and neighbors.

It's a short walk out of the gate. I stepped into the pond, earned it, and my hair fell loose. My hands were yellow and muddy, and the rain drenched me with water. Many people couldn't stop him, patting and laughing, and one of them extended to the collection. Everyone looked at each other with big eyes and small eyes, and said together, "So the new rich people are crazy with joy."

The old lady cried, "How can you work so hard! If you win a prize, you will get this unlucky disease! This is crazy, when will it be good? " Lady Hu said, "I like going out in the morning. How did I get such a disease!

why is that good? " The neighbors advised, "Don't be flustered, old lady. Now, we have sent two people to follow Master Fan. Here, everyone takes some eggs, wine and rice at home, and entertains the old man in the newspaper and drinks for business again. "

Now, some of our neighbors have brought eggs, some have brought white wine, some have carried a bucket of rice, and some have caught two chickens. The lady was crying, tidied up in the kitchen and took it under the hut. The neighbor moved some tables and stools, so please ask the reporter to sit and drink and discuss his madness. What should I do?

there is a truth in the report: "I have an idea, but I don't know if it can be realized." "Many people ask," Like what idea? " The man's way: "Master Fan can have the most terrible person on weekdays? He was cruel because of joy, and his phlegm rushed up and he lost his mind. Now all he needs is the person he is afraid of to hit him in the mouth and say, "Everything recorded in this report is a lie to you, and you never won." He took this fright and spat out his phlegm, then he understood. "

Many neighbors clapped their hands and said," This idea is so good and wonderful! Master Fan is afraid of nothing more than the meat on the table. All right! Quick find hu dad ". He thinks he doesn't know the way yet, so he sells meat at the gathering. "Another humanitarian said," He likes to know about buying meat on the set. He has been greeting pigs at the first set since the fifth watch, and has not come back yet. Go to meet and find her quickly. "

A man flew to meet him. Halfway there, he met Butcher Hu. Behind him, a man named Han, who was boiling water, came to congratulate him with seven or eight kilograms of meat and four or five thousand yuan. I saw the old lady when I entered the door, and the old lady cried and told her something. Butcher Hu said in surprise, "Aren't these people blessed? "People outside are clamoring for Mr. Hu" to speak.

Butcher Hu gave the meat and money to his daughter and ran out. Everyone is like this, discuss with him. Butcher Hu challenged: "Although this is my son-in-law, now she is a master and a star in the sky. The stars in the sky can't be hit! I heard Zhai Gong say: If you hit the stars in the sky, the king of Yan will use it to hit a hundred iron harrows, which will happen in eighteen layers of hell and will never turn over. I dare not do such a thing! " A bitter neighbor explained, "Forget it! Dad Hu, "you kill pigs every day to make a living. White knives go in and red knives come out, and Yan doesn't know that the judge wrote down in the book that your son has thousands of iron rakes.

even with this hundred sticks, what does it matter? I'm afraid I've beaten the iron bar completely, and it's not on that account. Or maybe you saved your son-in-law's illness, and Yan Xu's achievements brought you to the seventeenth floor from hell, and I don't know. The report records people's thoughts: "Don't just tell jokes.

Mr. Hu, this story should be like this. You can't change a contingency. "The butcher was not more than the public office, so he had to drink two bowls of wine, be strong and courageous, put these talents away carefully, take out the usual ferocious appearance, roll a roll of the oily sleeves, and go to the collection. Five or six of the neighbors followed. The old lady rushed out and shouted, "love home, you can only scare him, but you will hurt him!" "The neighbors said," This is natural. How can we get rid of orders? " Yes, one went straight.

When I came to the collection, I saw Fan Jin standing at the gate of a temple, with loose hair and mud all over his face. He shaved off a shoe, clapped his hands and shouted, "Bingo! Bingo! "Butcher Hu went up to the front like a demon and explained," Damn beast! What did you win? " A mouth will go. Many people and neighbors can't help laughing when they see this.

I didn't expect that Butcher Hu, although he had the courage to hit the next time, was still afraid in his heart. His hand shook long ago and he dared not hit the second time. Fan Jin had only one mouth, but he fainted on the ground because he fainted. All the neighbors came forward together, wiped his chest and put on his vest for a long time, and gradually gasped, his eyes bright and he was not crazy. Many people helped themselves up and sat on the bench of a surgical doctor at the entrance of the temple. Butcher Hu stood aside, not feeling that the faint pain in the hand would rise.

when you look at it yourself, put a slap on your back and you can't pull it back. I was annoyed and said to myself, "It's true that the' Wenquxing' in the sky can't be beaten, but now the Bodhisattva cares. "Think about it, more headaches, hurriedly ask card shark for a plaster. Fan Jin looked at many people and explained, "Why am I sitting here?" He added, "I've been in a daze for a long time, as if I were in a dream.

"The neighbors said," Sir, congratulations on high school. Just now, some joy led to phlegm, and then I spit out a few mouthfuls of phlegm. Okay. Please go home quickly and send the recorder. "Fan Jin explained:" That's right. I also remember being the seventh among them. "Fan4 jin4 side from wan hair, a face-to-face ask card shark borrowed a basin of water to wash your face. A neighbor had found the shoe and put it on for him.

When I saw the old man following me, I was afraid to scold him again. Butcher Hu stepped forward and said, "Dear husband, I dare not be so bold. It's what your old lady meant. I'll advise you." A truth about being a man in the neighborhood: "Mr. Hu" has this kind mouth. After a while, Master Fan will wash his face and wash half a basin of lard! Another way: "Dad," you can't kill pigs the next day.

"Butcher Hu said," I didn't kill the pig! With my good husband, I'm afraid I won't be able to rely on him for the next half generation. Why? I often say that my son-in-law, with high learning and good appearance, has no such decent appearance as my son-in-law.

you don't know the way, and you are offended that I know people with my eyes. Imagine that my little daughter grew up in her 3 s at home, and how many rich and wealthy households wanted to unite with me. I felt that my daughter seemed to be blessed. After all, she wanted to marry an old man. Today, there is nothing wrong! " Say that finish, laughed.

everyone laughed. Watching Fan Jin wash his face, the doctor brought tea again and went home together. Fan Juren fled first, followed by the butcher and neighbors. When the butcher saw his daughter's son-in-law's clothes, his skirt rolled and wrinkled a lot, and he bowed his head all the way to pull dozens of times for him.

at the door of the house, the butcher shouted, "Master has gone back to the house!" " The old lady greeted her and was glad to see that her son was not crazy. Many people ask about the report record, but it is already that the family sent the butcher thousands of dollars to send him away. . Fan Jin worshipped his mother and thanked the old man.

Butcher Hu repeatedly said uneasily, "How much money do you need? It's not enough for you to reward people. "Fan4 jin4 thanked the neighbors again. Just as I was sitting down, I saw a decent housekeeper flying in this morning with a big red sticker in his hand: "Master Zhang came to visit Master Fan in Xinzhong." With that, the sedan chair is already at the door. Butcher Hu quickly hid in his daughter's room and dared not come out. The neighbors parted ways.

Fan Jin went out to meet him, only to see that Xiangshen Zhang got out of the sedan chair and came in, wearing a gauze hat, a sunflower round neck, a gold belt and black boots. He was born as a juren, served as a magistrate of a county, and was admitted with Fan Jin. He kowtowed in the main room and sat down with the two sides. Xiangshen Zhang first talked about: "Mr. World is in his hometown together, a person who has lost touch with him. "

Fan Jindao said," The time of birth depends on the old gentleman, but he didn't have a chance. " Xiangshen Zhang said, "Just now I saw the title list. Your teacher, Tang Gong of Gaoyao County, is a student of our ancestors. You and I are close brothers for generations. "Fan Jindao:" It's really a shame to be lucky to be born.

But fortunately, you can be happy to escape from the old gate. " Xiangshen Zhang looked around at his eyes and explained, "Mr. World is really poor. "As I took a handful of silver from my family, I explained," I don't think I've prepared a gift of fifty taels carefully, and Mr. Dai will keep it for the time being.

these flowers can't be lived in practice, and it's not very convenient to go anywhere in the future. I have a house, right on Dongmen Street, with three bedrooms. Although it is not spacious, it is still clean and is being given to Mr. Shi. Moving there to live, I like to ask for advice sooner or later. "Fan Jin repeatedly refused, and Xiangshen Zhang was anxious. He said," You and I have been friends for generations, just like close relatives; If you want to do this, you are looking outside.

"Fan Jin was able to arrest the silver. Thank you. I talked about another party and said goodbye to myself. Butcher Hu didn't dare to come out of the room until he got on the sedan chair.

Fan Jin gave the money to the Huns to open, and wrapped two spindles with snow-white filaments one by one. He called Butcher Hu in and handed it to him in another way: "It only took Dad's heart" and took 5, yuan. The six more than two silver, dad "took it. "The butcher held the silver tightly in his hand, smoothed the curly hair, and said," Take this first. I congratulated you, but how could I take it back? "

Fan Jin said," I still have this almost two pieces of silver when I see it. If I use it completely, I'll ask Dad again. "Please come and use it. "The butcher quickly drew back his fist, went to his waist to estimate, and said in his mouth," Well, now that you have married this master Zhang, why worry about not having money? His family has more money than the emperor's. <