Degang Guo's Classic Works (6)

245: Guo: (Beijing tune) That gold and silver treasure should pay the highest price! Time is like a sword! The shuttle between the sun and the moon makes people old! The sun, Buddha and three golden lights cook people, (piano and book pass the door) (plop, plop! ) tell the people's own stories!

246. Degang Guo: The famous Quyi artist Ma Shen Yu Qian is a foreigner? Degang Guo: No, I'm from China. My name is Strychno: What's my last name? Degang Guo: Shani Yuqian: Do you turn a blind eye to your mother? Degang Guo: Bah-from the special performance of my role in the North Exhibition on August 6th, 2009 at 5438+08.

247: A chaste virgin is not as good as an old prostitute! This is Good and Evil —— Excerpted from Degang Guo's stand-up comedy biography in August 2009.

248: When the monk dies, he dies; When the emperor died, he died; When a bannerman dies, he dies ... when ordinary people die, they die. Some people who did the right thing to me died, and they were called oh yeah ... that's what I said, and you were just listening, so I won't say anything before the live broadcast. Speaking of fun, if everyone is happy, let's shout "Oh, yeah" (Biography of the Duke of Ji)

249: Alas, the old monk nodded, and I felt sad after the fireworks. This hutong will be called Yanhua Lane in the future. Master, master, don't talk nonsense. Yes, I'm just kidding! I'm witty, aren't I? Humor. (Biography of Jigong)

250: OK, let's talk about friends with Wei Tuo. Yes, he is older than me. I am his brother. How is he? He's my viagra! (Biography of Jigong)

25 1: There are no windtight pants in the world. (You must marry me)

Guo: Everyone wants to find a suitable partner.

Y: that's true.

Guo: It's hard to tell the truth.

Y: it's hard to find.

Guo: Take women as an example.

Y: ah.

Guo: It's too beautiful to enter the kitchen.

Y: oh.

Guo: Let's go to the kitchen. Not fashionable.

Y: mm-hmm

Guo: Fashion squanders money.

Y: mm-hmm

Guo: If you don't spend money, you won't be feminine.

Y: mm-hmm

Guo: I can't stand feminization.

Y: mm-hmm

Guo: If you can see, you can't see (you have to marry me).

253: a bolt from the blue, a loud underpants! (You must marry me)

254: Beauty as beautiful as flowers and jade is rare in the world. She looks like a fairy, her waist is stiff, and the next round of beauty is as beautiful as flowers and jade, overwhelming many Chanjuan. I think, this is not a flat peach banquet, how can Chang 'e leave the cold of the moon? She is like a girl picking chrysanthemums in Nanshan, and I am like Edison Chen ... (You have to marry me).

255: I won't go to hell, whoever loves me will. (You must marry me)

256: Tigers don't send cats, you treat me like a sick man! (You must marry me)

257: I won't give you a big shot. You don't know yisow is a sissy!

Guo: OK, I'll give you a step. Tell me, what's the name of the knife I just sang?

Do you think I'm a stupid child? What am I talking about? Single knife meeting!

Guo: Oh, don't stop taking the medicine, keep drinking, keep drinking.

Y: I take medicine here. You are so mean.

Guo: Intelligence has improved! You know what? I'll sing The Legend of the White Snake again. What is this?

Is the apple sweet? Is it sweet? Crispy? Crispy? Two Jin of pears? Oh, what a waste of time! )

Guo: There are quite a few people coming. Y: There are many today. Guo: I'm very happy.

26 1: The Dutch sun shines on the face, and Americans all laugh.

262: The prince and princess began to live a shameless life.

263: Miss Guan Gong from the sales department

264: Drink one cup after another. ...

I will feed you a handful of grass when I am a cow and a horse in my next life.

266: Anyone who has lost chaos knows it.

Maybe time is the best medicine. As the days passed, I figured it out on the third day.

268: My gentleman walked over and stretched his legs, and "pa" I gave her a hand. "Relax, I'm not a good person."

What a coincidence! You peed on your hands, too.

270: What do you think is wrong with me? I will change it. What do you think of me? I will change it.

27 1: Guo: Two days later, a carriage came to the countryside to deliver vegetables. This carriage, water ... Yu: Does the carriage return water?

Guo: the horse releases water ... Yu: Just say the horse urinates.

Guo: I soaked you. Y: Huh? Am I soaked in horse urine?

Guo: Formalin ... Yu: What formalin? ....

272: "Eight Views" looks forward to the spring in the middle of winter, the sunrise in the middle of the night, the rich, the hooligans hanging around in a small room, the female ghost in the night reading, the aunt in the bachelor's old man, the prize in acting, and the dead colleagues in the cross talk.

273: Would you like to listen, would you like to listen or would you like to listen? I will never insist.

274: No man or woman, I'll send it to you today.