Collect some funny jokes

1. When we first entered school, the whole class introduced themselves, Che Nan, to the podium: "My name is You Yong, from Beijing, and I love playing chess!" After that, he went down, and the next one was a girl. , the girl walked up to the podium shyly and introduced herself nervously: "I...my name is Xia Qi...I like swimming..."

2. Mr. Huang loves revolution, in order to commemorate Red Army named his son "Jun". One day when he was sending his son to class, he saw the No. 8 bus coming into the station, so he shouted to his son: "Huang Jun, run, the No. 8 bus is coming!"

3. Head of House: "My perfume is missing! Please help me find it!" Everyone: "You still use perfume?" What brand is it? Head: "SIX GOD, I only use that one." Everyone: "Awesome, I've never heard of it, what does it look like?" "The head of the house: "Which of you took the Liushen toilet water?

4. Today I received a text message from a scammer, asking me to quickly transfer money to an account at the Agricultural Bank of China. Half an hour later I sent a reply: "5000 has been deposited, please check." Later I received a reply: "I have gone to the bank three times and I still haven't received your money, you liar!" "

5. When I was in college, there was a buddy who was in the same dormitory. He was a department representative, and we were taught by a young female teacher. In other words, one day my buddy was walking on the road with a cigarette in his mouth, and suddenly he saw the teacher. I walked up to say hello, but the teacher took two steps back and said, "I'm pregnant!" (The female teacher was afraid of being exposed to the smoke)”

My friend didn’t understand what he meant. He instantly petrified and the smoke dropped. He said tremblingly, “It’s not mine!” ”

6. Xiao Wang works in the Human Resources Department on the 10th floor. A month ago, he was transferred to the administrative department on the 9th floor... Today, Xiao Wang called the Human Resources Department to find him. : "Is Xiao Wang here? "The colleague who answered the phone said: "Xiao Wang is no longer in the personnel department. "Classmate Buwang: "Ah! ! ? "When did it happen? Why didn't I know? I haven't had time to send him off yet?" "It doesn't matter. You can go find him below."

7. Xiao Ming was transferred to another school by his parents because he was not good at math. A church school. After half a year, I got straight A’s in math. Mom asked: "Is it because the nuns teach well? Is it because the teaching materials are good? Is it because of prayer?" "None of them," Xiao Ming said. "On the first day I entered school, I saw a person nailed to a plus sign, and I knew - ---They are serious.”

8. In the office, the instructor roared: “Today’s college students are so incompetent that they even use cutting to copy pornographic videos on my computer!

9. Let me tell you a poignant love story: This story involves a love triangle, grievances, children's love, and religious beliefs. It is only very short, with only one sentence, "Bald donkey, how dare you Fighting Chadao to steal the teacher's wife! ”

10. When I left home and returned home, An Neng could tell whether I was male or female. (Poor man, what have you gone through in these years!!!)

11. Relatives and friends in Luoyang ask each other, the boat has passed the Ten Thousand Mountains (Owe someone money? He ran very fast!)

12. Get married with a mobile phone and have a child called PHS. It was ugly and the signal was poor. In order to find out, I took PHS with me for a DNA test, and the result was shocking: It turned out that its father was a walkie-talkie!

13. An old man lost his car. When he put the newly bought car in downstairs, he locked three locks and clipped a piece of paper: "I'll let you steal it!" "The car was not lost the next day, and there were two more locks and a piece of paper: "Let you ride." ”

14. Which flower is the least powerful, jasmine, sunflower or rose? Answer: Jasmine (what a powerless [beautiful] jasmine

15 Orangutans hate it the most What line? Answer: Parallel lines. Parallel lines do not intersect (banana) 16. What are cloth and paper afraid of? Answer: Paper is afraid of ten thousand (not afraid of ten thousand, only ten thousand). 1)

17. Once upon a time, there were two snowmen. One snowman said: I am so cold, the other said: I am also very cold, and the other said: Let us hug each other, so the two of them They hugged each other. Then they were so cold.

18. Which Chinese word is cool?

19. A deer ran on the road, running faster and faster, and it turned into a highway.