Others may have said kind words casually, but you took it seriously!

I don’t know if you have ever had such an experience, but you took away the kind words someone said casually.

Xiaojing told me a story about Fat Brother. Fat Brother is Mr. A’s friend. At that time, she and Mr. A were not married yet. Fat Brother and Mr. A look like they can wear a pair of pants.

Every time when they parted ways after dinner and wine, Fat Brother would say: If you are short of money for marriage, tell Fat Brother, if you have enough, Fat Brother, I will give you one hundred and eighty thousand at any time. Prepared.

At first, Xiaojing only took it as a polite word, letting him say it casually and listening to it casually. Fat Brother said it so many times that Xiao Jing took it seriously. At that time, Xiaojing was thinking that it would be enough to have such a friend in her life.

Before the wedding, apart from the decoration, betrothal gifts, and seven or eight hundred dollars, Mr. A no longer had any extra money to hold a banquet. At this time, Xiaojing suggested that she and Fatty borrow 20,000 yuan first. As the wedding day approached, Mr. A had no choice but to ask Fat Brother to borrow money and promised to pay him back with money from the gift money as soon as the banquet was over. The fat brother was still as happy as he imagined and promised to deliver the money the next day.

Three days passed and there was no news from Fat Brother. Mr. A could only call and ask again. Fat Brother said that he was out of town and would send the money as soon as he came back the day after tomorrow. A week has passed, and no one has received the money and no one has seen it. Finally, I borrowed money from another friend. As for the fat brother, he didn't attend their wedding and only asked someone to send him a gift of three hundred.

Afterwards, Xiaojing asked Mr. A not to associate with Fat Brother anymore, thinking that Fat Brother was too hypocritical. Xiaojing said that she didn't hate Fat Brother because he didn't borrow money. After all, borrowing money was a matter of affection, and not borrowing was a duty. What she was angry about was the fat brother's hypocrisy and his repeated deception before marriage.

In life, there are many people like Fat Brother. Their casual polite words and their sincere promises were taken seriously by the listeners. If you don't take it seriously, you won't be sad. Or maybe, if you’ve seen it enough, you’re no longer surprised.

One year, something happened to my family, and many of my colleagues at my workplace were very considerate and caring. A female colleague who I usually don't deal with told me very sincerely that if I need money, I can tell her anytime, she has it. I said thank you to her without taking it seriously.

Because I know that some polite words are blurted out in specific scenes and specific time periods. Maybe the speaker was not thinking at the time, or maybe he was distracted by the situation, but leaving that environment , those polite words are like rootless duckweed, insubstantial. If you take it seriously, you lose.

Xiaojing told me later that she often quarreled with Mr. A because of Fat Brother. Mr. A said that after all, they had been friends for so many years, so perhaps he had reasons for not lending money. Maybe it’s because I really have no money and can’t save my face. Don't hurt your feelings because of money.

After they got married, they planned to open a small restaurant. After choosing the store, Mr. A asked Fat Brother to help him look at the decoration, because Fat Brother was an expert. As a result, Fat Brother agreed to go to the store for a while, but he didn't see anyone for a month.

Xiaojing said that since then, she has never heard the word "Fat Brother" from Mr. A again.

I think again, if Mr. A had never borrowed money from Fat Brother at the beginning, maybe they would still be good buddies in the eyes of others.

There is a tacit understanding in the world that I just say some polite words temporarily, and you just listen to them, don't take them seriously. Remember, these are the rules of the game for us to continue playing, okay?

I’ll treat you to dinner another day, welcome to my house to play, talk to me if you need money, call me if you have anything, and I’ll treat you when we get together... In life, don’t you use such kind words? Often heard?

When people interact with each other, sometimes they will inevitably say some kind words. Most people will not take it seriously, but some people do not take it that way.

I saw an activity launched by netizens on Weibo before, called "Cure you humans' habit of pretending to be sexy". It "prescribes the right medicine" to the polite words that people often say, which made people laugh.

For example, when someone says to you, "I'll treat you to dinner another day!" the polite reply is "No, just treat me today!"

When someone says to you, "I'll treat you to dinner some other time!" I'll find a chance to repay you next time!" You can immediately reply "No, I can repay you now!"

When someone asks you "Come to my hometown to play, I will provide food and accommodation." When invited, you can answer immediately: "As promised, I will go with you during the holidays."

When someone tells you that they are short of money and you just talk, you must follow the flow and say, "You The words are so timely. I happen to be short of five thousand. Is it convenient for you to lend me now?”

I don’t believe it. When you meet me who is really honest, you can’t cure your pretentiousness. Something wrong.

Not taking polite words seriously is the biggest unspoken rule of our society.

I saw such a story in the newspaper many years ago. A writer from Shandong recounted a small incident when he first came to Beijing. It is worth pondering.

This guy was very depressed when he came to Beijing twelve years ago. One day he met a famous musician in a hotel. The musician patted the Shandong young man on the shoulder and said: If you have any difficulties in the future, come to my brother.

This honest-minded Shandong buddy took it seriously. Later, when he encountered difficulties, he went to find someone else, but he was perfunctory in every possible way, which made the Shandong buddy very sad. He said: Our folks are generous and upright, and we keep our word, but we don't know that others are being polite.

It is okay and sometimes necessary to say polite words when the time, place and people are favorable. It is a kind of veneer for interpersonal communication and entertainment.

For example, say "I have long admired you" to new acquaintances, ask others to read articles and say "enlighten me", etc. Saying "I have admired you for a long time" does not mean that I have admired you for a long time; saying "I have taught you a lesson" does not mean that I really want to accept your teachings.

The world is inclusive, and in social situations, it is not appropriate to say some polite words. No, let’s just say it and listen to it, but don’t believe it, let alone be fooled by those kind words (the first writer’s circle of this article)