Tell me some humorous jokes! ! thank you

1, drunkards know their way

The policeman sent a drunk to the door and said to him, "Is this really your home?"

"Open the door for me, and I'll prove it to you right away!" The police opened the door and took him in.

"Did you see that piano? That's mine. Did you see that TV? That is mine, too. " They went up to the second floor again.

"This is my bedroom, have you seen that bed? The woman sleeping in that bed is my wife. Did you see the person who slept with her? "

The policeman said doubtfully, "How come?"

"That's me.

2. Nothing is a problem.

A man was drinking in a bar and didn't stand up until the bar closed. However, he just took a step forward and fell to the ground. The man tried to stand up, but before he took a step, he fell down again. So, he climbed home and finally climbed into bed, ready to stand up and sleep, but fell down on the bed. In this way, he lay on the floor and slept until dawn.

Early the next morning, as soon as the man opened his eyes, his wife scolded loudly:

"How do you drink again?

"Who said I was drinking?" This man looks innocent.

"Still want to lie to me! Just now the pub called and said you left your wheelchair there! "

3. Best abstinence

Someone ordered two glasses of wine in the hotel, drank one glass and drank another. The waiter said, "Mr. Good Wine!"

The man said, "No! A glass of wine represents me and a glass represents my seriously ill friend. "

The next day, the man went to the hotel again, and only had one drink this time.

The waiter asked, "Your friend ... is dead?"

He said, "No, I gave up drinking."