Happy every day.

Happy Hour Jokes

Happy Hour Jokes. In daily life, we can watch more funny jokes in our spare time, which can make our mood happy and full of energy. Next, I will take you to learn more about the relevant content of the daily happy moment joke encyclopedia.

Happy Day Joke 1

First, those who are good-looking and like to eat are called foodies, and those who are ugly and like to eat are called gits!

second, it is said that men have gold under their knees. I quickly rubbed off the skin and didn't even find a piece of iron!

Third, in ancient times, pharmacies always hung a couplet: I wish there was no disease in the world, and I would rather put medicine on the shelf to produce dust; Nowadays, pharmacies will hang a big banner: a catty of eggs will be given to people who buy medicine in 38 yuan.

Fourth, I wore a leopard coat in the morning and went out. A couple passed by me with her child. Her child pointed at me and shouted: Mom, look, tigress!

5. I have a buddy who said to his daughter-in-law, "Daughter-in-law, I have a fortune-teller. The fortune-teller said I had a hurdle when I was 135!" His daughter-in-law said coldly, "Why, the grave was dug?"

VI. My son was disobedient, and my husband was beating his son there. I stopped him and advised him. My husband said, "Don't stop me. If I don't teach him a lesson today, I won't be able to manage it later." Who knows that the son said with indignation, "If you don't even listen to your wife, you are not a good man. Why should I listen to you?"

VII. What is friendship? I changed my mobile phone number four times after graduation, and no one told me, but my classmates still contacted me when they got married!

8. When I was a child, I compared my grades. When I grew up, I compared my salary. Now I have to compare my steps when I walk. Leave me alone, I just want to be an uncontested garbage, but I didn't find out until I really did it, even the garbage had to be classified!

9. My wife sent a message in the circle of friends: Keep exercising, 3, steps a day, great. In order not to be exposed, let me take her mobile phone to run every night, and I won't come back if I don't meet the standard.

X. I finally know why people choose a good day when they get married, because there may be no good day after marriage. I want to live in your heart, but I didn't expect it to be a community with many neighbors.

second, my money is really wet, because I cry all the time when I spend it.

third, what is really terrible is not playing the lute to a cow, but that a cow is playing the lute to you.

fourth, I hope you will have wine, meat and girls in the future, and the girls are ugly.

5. How can bangs grow so fast?

I am very principled, and my principle is to follow your mood.

seven, I am single because no one can easily deserve me as a successor to the * * * proletariat.

8. I wanted to give life a kiss, but reality gave me two slaps.

9. AliPay wants to be socially simple, as long as it is a function of "rich people nearby".

1. I just want to turn around gracefully, but unexpectedly I hit the wall. Have a good time every day. 3

1. During the exam yesterday, the invigilator had to check the campus card. I took it by mistake and took it as a bank card. I didn't find it at first, until I found the teacher standing there all the time. So in embarrassment, I took out my campus card and the teacher left. I thought this was the end. Unexpectedly, there was a news spread on campus today: a candidate bribed the invigilator with a bank card during the exam yesterday. After repeated refusals by the teacher, the candidate did it.

Second, when I was in junior high school, the teacher called me: "Xiao Gang, you got 9 points in math!" " Me: "Thank you, teacher!" I hung up the phone and pretended to be sad: "Dad, I failed in math!" " My dad's face turned black when he brushed it, looking for sticks everywhere. I was so happy when I saw the prank succeed! At this time, the phone rang again. When I answered it, it was the teacher: "Hey, uh … sorry!" Your math score is actually 59 points. Happy April Fool's Day! "

Third, I still remember one year, I stole my dad's cigarette. When I finished smoking the last cigarette and didn't spit it out of my mouth, my dad came over, so I rubbed my hands wisely and spit it out and said, It's so cold! Later that summer, the whole village heard my crying!

fourth, our company has a relocated household with more than a dozen houses at home! I was curious that day and asked him. Me: Your family is so rich, why are you still working! He: You don't understand this. This should be the relationship between family education. He: Not only do I go to work, but my father goes to work, so does my mother. Even my grandmother is still at work. I am a little ashamed ... He: Who can we show off our wealth if we don't go to work?

5. I remember when I was in primary school, it was very hot one day. At the morning meeting of raising the national flag, the principal was giving a speech, and a classmate fainted. I shouted, "Get down quickly, there is a sniper!" You may not have seen a school where thousands of people all fell down. 4

1. Xiao Ming: "As the ancients said, every time you kill a dog, you are a scholar."

Teacher: "This TM is the reason why you play truant all day?"

2. I saw the message from my predecessors in the desk drawer: the beauty of mathematics lies in making people confused.

3. It's easy to go to college. Hehe, relax. I play games for more than ten hours every day. I'm as tired as a dog.

4. To do English listening, I only know that I have heard another page by the sound of turning pages.

5. The only difference between high school and college is that the dog food in high school is handed out secretly, while the dog food in college is slammed in the face.

6. required reading for the college entrance examination: there is no way to answer questions, and there is no to after make. In Qin dynasty, the bright moon was closed in Han dynasty, and the high price was oxidized and the low price was returned. You asked if the return date was not fixed, and the split was doubled and even. The wine is drunk and the chest is still open, GM=gR. Blue sky, yellow leaf land, high temperature and high pressure catalyst. Seen from the side of the ridge, the Lorentz force does not do work. The grass tree knows that spring will return soon, and Party B subtracts 4ac. The sand-sea deepens with fathomless ice, dehydrogenating alcohol by acid dehydroxylation.

7. After many years of classmates, at last, the use of your old classmate is to cast fake votes for classmates and children.

8. When I changed my new job, my colleague asked me whether I lived in the company or at home.

me: "I live at home."

Colleague: "Where do you live?"

Me: "Next to 27 national highway."

Colleague: "27 national highway grows up, and my family lives next to 27 national highway!" "

I ......

9. My buddy likes a nurse girl. In order to see her, he deliberately treated her illness and asked her to take care of her.

Later, after a long time, the two people often sit together and talk about their hearts.

On this day, my buddy felt that the time was ripe and bravely confessed to her, but the nurse refused. She said: You are often sick, and my salary can't support our family at all! ! !

1. Passing a beggar, I casually threw 5 cents into the cup in front of him.

The beggar shouted at me, "Thank you for your money. It ruined all the coffee I bought for 1 yuan!"

I ... have a good time every day. 5

I'm still a hero

Many people know the saying "I'm a hero again after twenty years", but few people know how this sentence came from.

a long time ago, there was a county magistrate who was thinking about greedy money all day, but couldn't find a name, so he asked a close friend to open a shop and cooperate with him. Unexpectedly, after a few strokes, the confidant was found out and sentenced to three years. The county magistrate was afraid that his cronies would bite him out, and privately assured him desperately: "It will be all right, and you will be a hero in three years!" "

Sure enough, three years later, as soon as his cronies left his cell, the county magistrate immediately gave him a lot of benefits and gave him a virtual post. It was really a storm, and he was very proud.

The two men continued to take bribes and pervert the law. However, the justice of heaven was restored, and soon the confidant was found out again. This time, the sentence was even heavier, with one sentence being five years. The county magistrate still promised him: "After five years, you will be a hero again."

Five years later, the county magistrate has been promoted to magistrate. Of course, he has given more benefits to his cronies, and he has also been given a higher position. The cronies are not only a hero, but also more arrogant.

The two men still did not repent and did whatever they wanted. Soon, the confidant was caught red-handed for being suspected of a big case. Because of his notorious criminal record, he was sentenced to 2 years despite the efforts of the magistrate. The magistrate once again vowed to his cronies: "It doesn't matter, you are a hero again after 2 years."

Unexpectedly, the above soon found other evidence of crimes, and several crimes were combined, and the cronies were directly sentenced to death.

The cronies are really a little panicked this time. As the execution date approaches day by day, he keeps scolding the magistrate for not helping himself. It seems that he must threaten the magistrate quickly! How can we scare the magistrate without screwing things up? He decided to shout the code word when he paraded the streets before the execution.

At last, the day came, and the people who executed the prisoners were crowded with people. Since the magistrate was not found out, he presided over the execution and sat high in the court. How awesome! Seeing that the magistrate had no intention of saving himself at all, the cronies quickly shouted at the throat, "Lao Tzu is a hero again after 2 years!" Twenty years later, he is another hero-"

My cronies thought that everyone would feel strange after hearing this: he will die soon, how can he be a hero after 2 years? Unexpectedly, as soon as the voice fell, several prisoners immediately shouted: "Yes! Afraid of a bird, he will be a hero again twenty years later! "

The cronies were puzzled. When they looked back, they were a few ruffian hooligans who were beheaded with them. Do they have any trouble with the magistrate like me? Thinking, the cronies asked one of them in a low voice, "Hey, what are you yelling about?"

"Didn't I learn it from you?" The gangster looked at him adoringly and said, "Brother, I admire you so much. We all want to be heroic this last time, but we don't know what to shout. Twenty years later, we are a hero again, Niu! This is so cool! " As he spoke, the gangsters shouted this sentence several times again.

The people onlookers could not help cheering in unison: "How dare you!"

The scene was in chaos, and the cronies wanted to say more. Unexpectedly, the magistrate made a decisive decision and shouted, "Execute immediately!"

When the token flew out, the cronies had already fainted, but the phrase "I'm a hero again after 2 years" has been passed down to the present.