Classic funny jokes _ Lighthearted and humorous classic jokes highlights

Life needs humor, and these funny jokes will tell you what the fun of life is. What is the truth of this world. Next, I have carefully prepared a classic joke script for you. Welcome to watch!

Classic joke script (popular) 1. In class, the teacher asked: 1 1 volt, 30 volt, 220 volt, 1000 volt, 3500 volt, which one can touch and which one can't? Student:? Everyone can be touched, but some can only be touched once. ?

2.？ I want to have my hair cut, but I don't know which master to choose, the one with the worst hairstyle! Well, his hairstyle shows that he is at least not the worst. ? (@ Lai Yinger)

3. How to translate this sentence into noble elegance with connotation? Hey, man! If you have something to say, say it! If you have nothing to say, go ahead! ? Correct answer:? Ai Qing, why don't you play something and leave North Korea?

There are so many beautiful mobile phones that have attracted countless heroes to bend over and cherish Sharp. Motorola, obsessed with knives. A generation of tianjiao promised to remember the empire and only knew how to sell big orders in different shells. How many romantic figures in the past, iphone is the most coquettish!

5. Family planning in a certain place. An old lady took the place of her daughter-in-law in order not to let her daughter-in-law take the IUD. When she took the place of the fourth daughter-in-law, the doctor said: You took the old lady away, and then you became Audi.

6. A teacher said: The sentence of naked marriage: I have no car, no money, no house and no diamond ring, but I have a heart to accompany you to your old age. Its degree of unreliability is similar to: although I didn't study, attend classes, review or do problems, I have an unyielding heart. The biggest misunderstanding about love is that love is omnipotent.

7. A mother told her son a story: There are two people, a man and a woman, who walk side by side every day, but they can't talk. It is extravagant to even look at each other. . . ? The child interrupted his mother and asked, you mean the news broadcast! ?

8. I suddenly remembered an advertisement asking for the number 1. Didn't you say two b numbers 1

9. In primary school, I thought the latest time in the world was 9: 30. When I got to middle school, I found that it had even passed 10. 1 1 When I didn't sleep at half past ten, I thought I was going to die the next day. Now I will grin contemptuously. It's just past 12!

10. A boy asked the coach: Coach, I fell in love with my last friend in Weibo, but I'm not sure if TA is a woman. ? Is TA's head a second element? Yes ? TA What is the gender in Weibo? ? Give it up, Sao nian. That guy is 100% gay. ?

Classic joke script (classic) 1. Go home at night and hear crying in the alley. When I got closer, it turned out to be a disheveled woman crying. What's the matter, miss? I was violated by a pervert! ? Me:? Are you okay? Miss a:? He suddenly grabbed my chest from behind and let me go. Then why are you crying? Miss a:? Because. . . Did that pervert really say that? What bad luck, holding a man?

2. Go out alone to find fault and shout everywhere. Who dares to mess with me? As a result, a strong man stopped him Dare I? . The man looked at it and immediately stood beside the strong man. Who dares to mess with us?

Today, I made up my mind to start losing weight and told my husband. From tomorrow on, I will only eat bananas and pineapples for dinner! ! ? As a result, the husband replied faintly:? Elephants grow up eating these, too? Me?

4. Three mice tasted American, Japanese and China wines respectively! One drinks American wine and falls down in three steps! After drinking Japanese wine, the other two steps will fall down! The last one drank China's Erguotou, raised his kitchen knife and shouted: Shit! Where is the cat?

A friend talked to him about his daughter-in-law who naturally wanted to stay. He said, daughter-in-law, where is the capital of Belarus? She: Ukraine? He: Well, I tell you, the capital of Belarus is White Moscow; Then she bought it?

6. Question: When Americans are in a hurry, they will become. . . Answer: Jiang Guoren! ! !

7. I'm going to visit a new customer today and call him to ask where it is. At McDonald's. ? I said a good word to make friends: hey, buddy, what's delicious? I can smell it. ? The other party replied:? Line up in the bathroom! ?

8. The doctor said to the patient who will have an operation. There are some risks in this operation. If it fails, it will paralyze your left side. ? The patient touched his penis with his hand? Doctor:? What are you doing? Patient:? I just moved it to the right. ?

The company will hold a celebration party in the evening. Suddenly the power went out, and I didn't want to stop. So I bought a big bundle of candles and opened them. Halfway through the writing, the boss seemed to think of something and asked, Is anyone celebrating his birthday today? A colleague thought it would be nice to get it, so he quickly raised his hand. Boss, today is my birthday, today is my birthday! ? The boss said, OK, wait a minute. After the meeting, you are responsible for blowing out all the candles! ?

10. Girl signature? Christmas songs are updated every year, and this year's songs are catchy ╮ (╯ ▽ ╰) ╭ ~ ~ Single boy, single boy, all the way, get together and become gay. Hey!

Classic joke script (selected articles) 1. I met a lady in the trading hall. She said: The China stock market is a bit like an incompetent husband. Abandon him, a little reluctant; Stay together every day and suffer indignities. Eat and drink well and wait on him. I hope he can take a little sun as his spirit. I just saw his erection, and he hasn't finished taking off his clothes. He's dying. The key is that as soon as you get dressed and are ready to have an affair, he pulls you back and says, there is a reaction, there is a reaction, you wait! !

2. March 8 of a certain year: a beautiful woman swam ashore and everyone was watching! Beauty, the heart says never seen a beauty? I suddenly felt something was wrong. I don't know when my swimming trunks have been lost, and the spring scenery is leaking. In desperation, I took the board by the pool to hide my shame, and everyone laughed! I was anxious to see that the board said "it's dangerous here, the water depth is two meters", so I abandoned it and replaced it with another one, and everyone laughed! I was anxious to see "Men Only" and I was anxious to change it. Everyone laughed! Looking down again, he immediately fainted. The sign says, "All Men's Days are free on August 3rd."

Yesterday, a friend said the best thing that happened to him: no matter how heavy it is, he can calm down and fool. For example, this person's computer knowledge is limited to switches. I went to a customer to show off software products. I didn't turn on their computer for a long time, so I simply said, Hey, Microsoft was hacked again today. (@ Zhang Xiaonan)

One day in class, a short message flew into my brother's mobile phone. The key is that my brother's mobile phone is set to automatically read short messages by voice: Girl, grandpa is pregnant. Guess if it's yours.

Yesterday, a young man sitting in the SB shouted:? Is my calculator broken? Damn it, one times one equals one? Suddenly, the whole group was in chaos.

6. Part I: Stay at home for a long time and naturally stay. Part II: Stay deep and naturally germinate. Horizontal batch: stay in the dormitory less.

7.？ After a while, where is your carving (carving card)? Auntie, it's all automatic now. ?

8. On a business trip, when I went out in the morning, I said to my daughter, "Baby, come and kiss Dad." My daughter ignored me, and I continued to beg her, and my wife also advised me. Honey, dad is going on a business trip today. Please kiss him. ? I'm still begging? Let's go Come on, baby. Kiss dad? Finally, my daughter gave me a reluctant kiss. Then she said impatiently to her mother:? Is your husband really exquisite? .....

9. girls:? Dad, do you have any scary books for me to read? Dad:? There is a book that I have bought for more than twenty years. It's horrible, so I seldom watch it. ? Little girl:? What book? Dad said seriously:? Marriage certificate! ?

10. There are three kinds of people in the iPhone world: authorities, sources and insiders who don't want to be named. Three things in the Android world: the machine king and the top configuration, will be listed soon. Three stories of Saipan world: past glory, dying, brand disappearance. Three highlights of shanzhai world: N-card N-belt, long standby, Phoenix Legend. ......

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