Short jokes

In a high-level mathematics class, the teacher was writing furiously on the blackboard, and there was a commotion underneath. The teacher couldn't bear it: "Students, please keep your voices down!"

A buddy said: "Teacher, slow down. You’ll get used to it soon!”

Teacher FAINT!

2. The whole high school must wear uniforms. . . One repeat student never wears it. . .

The teacher in charge of this aspect squats at the door to check every day. . One day. . The teacher saw that this student was not wearing school uniform. . Ask him why he doesn't wear it.

The classmate said angrily: My mother is not dead. . . Why should we wear mourning clothes? . .

The teacher sweated to death. . .

3. This may not be considered an answer: the teacher drags the class! "Finally, I want to talk about something..." Pai Yiyong, a strong man, said loudly, "It's not sweet if you force it!", and the whole place was silent...

The teacher's face was ashen: "...get out of class is over"

5. In junior high school, I liked a few boys to flutter butterflies together after class. As a result, one classmate was so excited that when the bell rang, the math teacher called him several times without answering.

After 5 minutes of class, this student ran to the door and shouted a report. The teacher said angrily: "I just call a dog, and it will wag its tail!"

This student whispered Received: "I don't have a tail..." The whole class burst into laughter, and even the teacher couldn't help it...

6. One of my brothers was asked by the teacher in the advanced mathematics class: "Calculus is A very useful subject, what is our goal in learning calculus? My brother: No cavities!

7. The teacher in the Chinese class said: In fact, weasels do not eat chickens. This is what scientists have discovered through experiments.

A chicken and a weasel were once locked together. Guess what happened the next day?

The chicken was pregnant.

8. The junior high school physics class talked about the use of neon tubes. A fat man in our class stood up and asked: What should the teacher do if the milk in the neon tube leaks out?

The whole class was silent. The teacher didn't say anything and kept talking until the end of get out of class. At the beginning of class the next day, the teacher became angry with the classmate yesterday.

The whole class became aware of the teacher's reaction speed.

10. A painting teacher was somewhat famous, and a certain newspaper published a large-scale report with photos.

So he boasted in class: "Recently, classmates always tell me, Teacher, you are really good. It was in the newspaper and had a photo. . . ”

Me: “Is it a revelation for people to find?” "Result: The teacher glared at me for at least 5 minutes and then lectured.

11. In the third year of high school, the geometry teacher was a BT old lady who loved to brag and was extremely annoying.

One day in class Above: "I am highly regarded by the Municipal Education Bureau. They always invite me to study problems together, and they always pick me up by car. . . Car delivery

Me: "Three wheels?" Result: From now on, I was banned from taking geometry classes.

12. The junior high school leaders held a meeting. The students below were very unconscious and threw facial tissues all over the floor (the temperature that day was almost 50 degrees.

After the meeting, a leader continued Say: Students, there were sanitary napkins all over the floor today, and the dirty floor was messed up.

The male students all stayed to clean it up.

13. I still don’t know whether the teacher was right or wrong. When I was in high school, my English teacher (a middle-aged woman in her fifties or so)

Some boys disliked us. I didn’t listen, so I yelled:

“What are you thinking about?” “I miss you!” I replied.

After being silent for a while, the teacher pointed at me and yelled: You are a stinky gangster!

14. When I was in high school, the teacher was an old man who introduced himself, "My name is Wu Shushan." I immediately said, "Looking northwest to Chang'an, how pitiful!" "Countless Mountains".

The whole class burst into laughter. The teacher's face was ashen, and he was occasionally punished to do heavy work. Cold

~ Note: "Looking to the northwest of Chang'an, there are countless mountains." Excerpted from Xin Qiji's "The Bodhisattva Barbarian" Book "Jiangxi Ostomy Wall"

15. In Chinese class, the teacher asked a sleeping classmate to answer a question. The student was confused and couldn't say anything...

The teacher said: " Do you know how to squeak?"

The student said: "Squeak." The teacher said.

16. In a photography class, a classmate photographed two children playing near the fountain. The teacher asked: "What kind of picture is this?"

The following sentence came from: "Mandarin ducks playing in the water." Everyone laughed wildly~~~~~

17. In music class, the teacher does music solitaire, that is, the previous student drinks a "pull" with a tone, and the next student has to repeat the previous one. A classmate's "La",

sings another "La" in another tone.

There is a boy who is bored and adds a word after everyone's "pulling" sound, what is "pulling"! "Hand-Pulled Noodle"! "Poop" and the like,

After he sang "Poop" with a very beautiful tone, the music teacher looked at him with a smile and said: "Let's see what you can do." "

18. Teacher in Chinese class: "... The above sentences indicate that it is very steep, right?!" p>

All the boys answered loudly: "Yes!!!"

A girl suddenly said: "Is it safe to get on it?!" Everyone laughed wildly. . . . . . This lesson is endless!

19. I think our high school mathematics teacher is the most classic. A girl in my class was sitting in the back row and was listening to her Walkman. Her ears were blocked so she spoke loudly.

She said to her classmate: "Teacher, come here and tell me." Almost all the students heard it.

The teacher was no exception. He looked at the classmate and said: I won’t go.

20. At the flag-raising ceremony, the principal made an ideological report: "...I am the son of the Chinese people." The students below said, "I am the Chinese people."

21. A school party Yes, the teacher (an old lady in her 60s) will give up the program.

The classmates started booing: The teacher also made a show and danced. A boy shouted: Do a pole dance.

The teacher didn’t understand the meaning of pole dancing, so he thought he wanted her to dance and said: I’m too old to be able to do it anymore. I was fine when I was young, but...

22. Our high school It was time to take the exam soon, and I was taking a geography class. The teacher reported a place name above and we answered about minerals below.

After talking about a lot of places, the teacher suddenly asked: "What is produced in Jiangnan?"

All the boys in the class responded in unison: "Beauties born in Jiangnan!!!"

23. In physics class, the teacher talked about convex lenses and cameras. I was writing on the blackboard when I suddenly heard talking and laughing below, so I turned around and pointed at the idiot, and asked him what he was talking about. The boy hesitated and finally managed to say: "Teacher, you "I wrote it wrong"

So we looked back at the blackboard and saw that the teacher's writing on the blackboard was too cursive and it was "photograph"

......The whole class burst into laughter , the teacher who has always been known for his sternness blushed and said nothing...

24. Our teacher once said during class: "The boss is the boss, the wife is the old woman and the mother. The wife is the mother. I will always be with you~~~~~"

My deskmate asked the teacher loudly: "Teacher, is the teacher just a wet guy?" The teacher then ran away!!

25. During the self-study class, the dean of academic affairs came in and asked the monitor, "Find two people for me. I want the class belle." So the monitor organized the whole class to vote for the class belle.

It caused a scene. , finally unified their opinions and selected the two girls who were the most PL in the class, so the two girls shyly went to the director.

The director said, "Follow me to the Academic Affairs Office. I want to move the flowers..." ”

26. In high school, the politics teacher said in class? : "Capitalist developed countries, especially the United States, always bully other countries when they become strong.

Our socialist China will not do this. Even if it becomes strong, it will not bully other countries. Don't..."

My deskmate continued: "If you don't bully others, how will you know if you are strong?" The whole class burst into laughter, and the teacher went berserk! ! !

27. When I was in high school, there was a silver substitution experiment in chemistry. At that time, one of my classmates succeeded in the substitution and shouted: Teacher! Silver really came out!

Then he said: Teacher, why don’t you sell silver (prostitution)?

(Note: The teacher is a female) The teacher didn’t hear it, and replied: Selling silver is not something you can do casually, it requires the state ’s permission. . . .

The whole class turned upside down

28. In high school, the head teacher (a female teacher in her 20s) said to the sports committee member one day: "Go find two boys in the class. They must be strong." Yes, I will use it later.”

I couldn’t stop laughing after the teacher left

29. When I was in junior high school, one day during the whole school student meeting, the head teacher wanted the physical education committee member to confirm that all the girls in the class were there. Lai Qi did not.

I said to him (the sports committee member is a very strong and lustful boy): "Go and clear out the girls in the class."

The sports committee is not a fuel-efficient lamp, so I asked him hurriedly : "Which one should I kiss?"

The teacher thought for a while: "I know I want you to go!"