Why do you want to speak tactfully?

This sentence is often regarded as derogatory, and some even take it as a curse to criticize those who are "sleek and sophisticated" in dealing with the world.

To understand the knowledge of life, you need to give up your previous prejudice and re-understand this sentence. "Talking to people" means that you know how to communicate with people. Nonsense is to communicate with ghosts. That is to say, when you are talking with the other person, you should try to choose the language that the other person is familiar with and the topic you care about. Otherwise, no matter how good and vivid you speak, it is tantamount to "casting pearls before swine".

For example, it is best to talk to people in Taiwan Province Province in Minnan; When talking in Cantonese, it is best to use Cantonese. When talking with Hakka people, it is best to use Hakka dialect; When talking with fellow villagers, it is best to use the native language: when talking with women with children, it is best to talk about children's education and daily necessities, vinegar and tea and other family topics; When talking with the staff of the trading company, you can talk about business issues; Talk to the teacher and say something about education. In short, you'd better do what you like when you speak. Only in this way can you be targeted in social activities and become a social expert with ease.

Therefore, "talk to everyone and cut the crap" means that when you talk, you should decide the content of the conversation in time and properly according to the different speakers. Because people always don't talk to themselves, whether they speak well or not depends not only on whether the words properly express their thoughts and feelings, but also on whether others can really understand and accept them. With different cultural backgrounds, people who speak different languages often have great differences in language understanding when talking. A joke that can make people laugh at home is likely to find the audience unresponsive and expressionless abroad. You talk to the other person in a fluent hometown dialect, and you are humorous, so maybe the other person will be stunned. These are all differences in understanding caused by different cultures. When communicating with people, we should first consider cultural differences, so as to adjust our own speech content, otherwise the listener will not be able to understand the speaker's intention.

A young man from China traveled abroad and stopped in a city on the way. Having nothing to do, he went swimming in the nearby swimming pool, but he came back soon. China people and a foreign friend who shared a room with him were surprised and asked him, "How did you come back so soon?" He explained: "There are too many people in the swimming pool and the water is too dirty. It makes people feel sick. Just like cooking jiaozi with sesame sauce. " He used this metaphor just right. The China friend who shared a room with him smiled, and the foreigner looked puzzled. Because he had never eaten sesame sauce or cooked jiaozi, he didn't find this metaphor humorous, which was the result of different cultural differences.

Also, westerners describe a place as crowded and often say it is stuffed like a sardine can. Some people in China can understand this metaphor, but many people still don't understand and appreciate the mystery. Because few people have ever seen an open sardine can, and even fewer people can see a small, flat can containing rows of neat long-fingered sardines.

Examples abound: former US President Carter was also in a dilemma because of his improper use of words. Once, he was going to Salt Lake City and was awarded the honorary title of "Family Man of the Year" by Mormons. His staff wrote a speech for him, which was specially marked "Add humor", so he used all three or four jokes told by his assistant. Carter and his assistants certainly don't realize that Mormons have been teaching their children not to take things lightly, that is, to take things seriously and cautiously. His assistant said, "At that time, we were standing in a temple with about 2,000 people present. They just stared at Carter when he told jokes.

Therefore, we should pay attention to the object and choose different languages according to different gender, identity, status, cultural accomplishment and personality. The difference between man and animals is that man has thought and language. Most of our language mistakes in communication with people are caused by lack of thinking or ignorance. When you talk to others, you must think more about them. It is a recognized virtue to think of others. In fact, it is true, because it has become one of the important standards to measure human civilization. But in order to reduce unnecessary troubles, it is better to keep an eye on the goal, learn to talk to people and learn to talk nonsense, because it is related to the success or failure of your life.