"Why didn't you go to the dinner party last night?" "I'm sorry, I'm a sociable person!"

One day, I suddenly didn’t want to be a gregarious person.

You may want to ask me, why am I so willful? You must know that it takes a lot of courage to be a misfit.

In fact, the reason is very simple.

I don’t want to walk into the restaurant singing in unison after get off work in order to have “team spirit”, raise my glass aimlessly with tasteless food, and waste my time reading and studying in the evening. Time;

I don’t want to get together and search for boring topics in my head so that the scene is not awkward and the air is not still. "Have you cut your hair recently?" "Yes, yes." . ”

(Actually, I’ve been cutting hair for half a month, are you embarrassed to just find out now?!)

1

A gregarious group of people who get together to complain. , maybe not

During the after-dinner time at work, a bunch of little girls in the office always like to gather in the tea room and chat, talking about what movies to watch after get off work and what unreasonable things the boss did today. .

Originally, the number of people in this group was very small. Later, new colleagues came in and the group gradually grew. At the same time, everyone naturally walked into the tea room where gossips and complaints were flying everywhere. We called it the "Office Complaint Conference."

Sometimes, I was very curious, so I asked an intern who participated in small talk but did not express any "big insights", don't you take a break at noon?

She who loves watching variety shows will answer: "I usually don't sleep at noon, and I want to use my lunch break to watch variety shows."

So, I can always watch She doesn't take naps, but sits in front of the computer and yawns during working hours.

Obviously, she needs a nap to regulate her working condition throughout the day, but after some struggle between chatting and complaining, variety shows, and taking a nap, she finally gave up on the option of taking a nap. This shows the importance of the other two. However, looking at her performance at the "Tucao Conference", we didn't see how much she loved to stay there and care about her family.

So, I asked her: "You can use the time to complain about variety shows to watch variety shows, and the time to watch variety shows to take a nap."

The answer I got was that everyone should eat together , after dinner, walking to the tea room together seems to be a habit, even like a culture. I don’t participate in it. I always feel a little strange when I run back to my office, like a lonely lost antelope. , isolated from the world.

Does this idea sound familiar? In order to appear gregarious, we do the same things as the group, or even things we don’t like to do.

It’s a joke to waste your time being gregarious. Since you don't want to participate in the discussion, if you stay there and don't get the pleasure of complaining, besides wasting your life, what else is there? Even sometimes, in order to participate and provide topics, you have to let yourself develop the habit of complaining and complaining. This kind of behavior that harms others and does not benefit yourself will only bring you closer to the thing you hate most. Humanoid.

2

Don’t be a gregarious person if you don’t have your own opinions

Of course, I don’t dislike the behavior of being gregarious. The wisdom and strength produced by teamwork are better than those of working alone. I am much stronger when I am alone. It’s just that I feel a little helpless towards the gregariousness of some people, blindly follow them, and have no independent thinking of their own.

They will think: Most people are taking the right path anyway.

But they don’t know why it’s right to do so, or why others do it. So when the direction of the entire large team becomes faster than housing prices, they will change with the trend.

Running has become popular in the streets and alleys. Looking at various public accounts and popular science articles about running and fitness, and looking at the friends around me who have started running, the activities everyone started to organize have also become No matter where I go for a run, I feel that my only love for playing badminton becomes quite alien.

So in order to look gregarious, I automatically became a runner.

In the beginning, the passion was still there, and I became popular in running. I showed off my running mileage in my circle of friends and was admired by thousands of people. But slowly I found that the running process was too boring and it was difficult to persevere, so I gave up after only a few days of running.

Then I found that people around me became obsessed with yoga, so I excitedly bought a yoga mat on a certain website. After practicing for several days, I felt that I was no longer interested and gave up. Exercise time has turned into TV drama time.

At this point I have to sigh: Oh! Oh my God! What kind of sports do you guys like? !

When I was in junior high school, the school would organize registration for extracurricular activity classes. I would often ask other students around me: Do you want to sign up for swimming? If the other person shakes his head, I will be very disappointed. I will never choose the course that I am the only one to sign up for, because I will feel that I do not have the same learning space with my friends and become alienated. So, in order to stay on the same channel and at the same distance as everyone else, I signed up for the same course as them.

The final result is that, to this day, I can’t swim either. And later on, I learned that they had been able to swim since they were young and were so good at water that they didn’t need to learn how to regulate their breathing in the water.

Later I thought about it, trying to be gregarious because I was afraid of being alone was a sign of irresponsibility to myself. Being gregarious sometimes makes people lose sight of themselves and their essence, and they just follow. This is a terrible thing. Becoming homogeneous will not only make you mediocre, but will also make the world boring and the entire environment uncreative.

3

It’s okay not to be gregarious which makes people gradually degenerate

Suddenly I remembered a sentence I saw on the Internet: "You think you are gregarious, but in fact you are "Degenerate."

A group of people like to play games in the dormitory. If you are the only one reading a book, you will be said to be unsocial;

A group of people like to watch TV shows and chat in their free time. Talk about which young guy has become the new male idol. When you are the only one watching TED to learn some English, you will be said to be unsociable;

A group of people are shopping, but you are the only one there. In the gym, you'll be told you don't fit in.

Slowly, in order to remain consistent with the group, you chose to play games, watch TV shows, and go shopping. Although you gained a good mood to maintain a good relationship with everyone, on the other hand, you also chose Standing still in self-growth, I chose to fall.

Although you can avoid the loneliness caused by personal actions by choosing to be gregarious, you also have to bear the reality that you are gradually becoming mediocre. I don’t know if you have heard of the “80/20 rule” – 20% of the people own 80% of the assets; 80% of the people serve 20% of the people. This means that the more gregarious you are, the more likely you are to become 80% of the people and gradually become mediocre.

Therefore, strive to become a better version of yourself, and you will find that your own excellence is more important than being gregarious. We don't need the chorus of vulgar forces around us, we just need to hear the inner voice and become a better version of ourselves, that's all.