Help find 3 English jokes

1.Two birls

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. < /p>

Two birds

Teacher: There are two birds here, one is a sparrow. Can anyone point out which is a swallow and which is a sparrow?

Student: I can’t point out, but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell me.

Student: Next to a swallow is a sparrow, and next to a sparrow is a swallow.

2. The Fish Net

"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"

"A lot of little holes tied together with strings ." replied the little girl.

Fish Net

"Can you tell me what the fish net is made of, Ann?" the teacher asked.

"Tie many small holes together with ropes to make a fishing net." The little girl answered.

3. The New Teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.

"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.

"I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."

New Teacher

On September 1st, George came home from school.

"George, do you like your new teacher?" Mom asked.

"Mom, I don't like it, because she said 3 plus 3 gets 6, but then she said 2 plus 4 also gets 6."

4. A physics Examination

Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.

The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?

Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.

A physics exam

During a physics exam, when the students were all While still thinking hard, Nick quickly answered the first question.

The question is: Why do we always see lightning first and then hear thunder when it thunders?

Nick’s answer is: Because the eyes are in front and the ears are in the back.

5.the lowest grade

"Professor, I did the best I could on this test. I really don't think I deserve a zero."

"Neither do I. But that's the lowest grade I'm allowed to give."

The lowest grade

Student: "Mr. Professor, I have tried my best in this exam." I really don’t think I should get zero points.”

Teacher: “Me too. But this is the lowest score I can give!”

6.Real Play

p>

When I taught the introduction-to-theater course at North Dakota State University, I required my students to attend the university theater's current production and write a critique. After viewing a particularly fine performance, one student wrote: "The play was so real, I thought I was actually sitting on my couch at home, watching it on television."

Realistic Drama

When I taught introductory drama at North Dakota State University , asking students to go see the performance of the school theater group at that time and write a review. After seeing a superb performance, one student wrote: “The play was so realistic that I thought I was watching it on TV, sitting on my couch at home.

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7. the chemical formula for water

Teacher: What the chemical formula for water is the ?

Blonde: "HIJKLMNO"!!

Teacher: What are you talking about?

Blonde: Yesterday you said its H to O!

The molecular formula of water

Teacher : What is the molecular formula of water?

Vase: HIJKLMNO!

Teacher: What are you talking about?

Didn’t you say H to O yesterday? ?

8. Prepare Yourself

A story around campus has it a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: "Mom - flunked all courses. Kicked out of school. Prepare Pop."

Two days later he received a response: "Pop prepared. Prepare yourself."

Prepare yourself.

There is such a saying on campus Story: A student once sent a telegram to his parents that read: "Mom - I failed all my homework and was expelled from school. Get Dad ready. "

Two days later, he received a call back: "Dad is ready. Prepare yourself!" 9 a pig and a dog are walking on the road, pig says: i am a pig.

dog says: yes! you are a pig!

< p> Is it short enough? Isn’t it simple enough? It doesn’t get any simpler or more funny than this. What we want is this kind of dry humor, right?