There are some short jokes.

"Bi" said to "Bei": Husband and wife have a fight, so why divorce!

"Towel" said to "coin": son. If you put on a doctor's hat, you will be worth a hundred times.

The "ruler" said to "do": Sister, the results have come out. You are pregnant with twins.

The minister said to the giant: the same area as you. I have three rooms and two halls.

Jing said to Pin: Didn't you decorate your house?

Lu said to Chang: Compared with you, my house is a fence.

"Zi" said to "Mu": Did your company lay off staff?

"Qian" said to "Sun": It's sunny, why not wear a straw hat?

"Man" said to "Man": Unlike you young people, you can hardly walk without crutches.

"Do" says to "Do": Balance is the last word!

"Bing" said to "Qiu": You see how cruel the war is, and both legs are blown off!

"Zhan" said to "Dian": Did you buy a car?

"He" said to "Dan": Timid, please hire a bodyguard?

"Da" said to "Tai": It's actually very simple to do hernia surgery.

"Tian" said to "Yue": It's time to lose weight.

Man said to Cong: Why haven't you had the separation operation yet?

"Earth" said to "Ugly": Don't think that wearing a shawl will look good, but it is still old-fashioned in the bones.

"Inch" said to "Guo": Grandpa, did you buy a recliner?

"You" said to "A": Is it tiring to practice one finger meditation like this?

Mu said to Shu: If you have a mole on your face, consider yourself a beautiful woman.

The fork said to you: When did you get your face fixed? What is the mole on your face?

1. The young man who only eats one ton decided to have a wedding in his hometown in the countryside. The man's father sent a telegram to his in-laws in the city and asked, "How many people can come? Be prepared. " My in-laws called back and said, "Not many people can go, just prepare a ton of rice." He wrote "ton" as "ton" Soon I received a telegram from the countryside: "The wedding was postponed for one month, because it was difficult to get a ton of rice for a while."

1. Widow

Daughter: "Mom, in ancient times, the emperor called himself a widow. What should the queen be called? "

Mother: "silly girl, of course the queen is called a widow!" " "

The rabbit died, and the fox was very sad.

The son asked his father, "How do you say the idiom' The rabbit dies and the fox grieves'?"

Dad said, "If all the rabbits die, the fox will have nothing to eat. Can it not feel sad? " "

3. Cat and dog language

American: "My dog can speak English!" " "

China people: "Can it speak English?"

American: "Yes, I asked it, what is the top floor of the house?" It will say' roof!' "

China: "This is normal. I have a kitten who can speak Chinese. " American: "Can it speak Chinese?"

China: "Yes, whenever I ask,' Where do we worship in China?'" "It will answer' temple'! Temple "

1. The new magistrate is from Shandong. Because he wanted to hang up, he said to the master, "You buy me two bamboo poles." As soon as the master heard that the "bamboo pole" in Shandong dialect was "pig liver", he quickly agreed. He hurried to the butcher's shop and said to the shopkeeper, "Master Xinxian wants to buy two pieces of pork liver. You know better, you should know better. " "

The shopkeeper was a clever man, and immediately understood. He immediately cut off two pieces of pig liver and presented a pair of pig ears. After leaving the butcher's shop, the owner thought, "The owner told me to buy pig liver, and these pig ears are mine …" So he wrapped the hunting ears and stuffed them into his pocket. Go back to the county government and report to the magistrate: "Report back to Grandpa, I bought pig liver!" "

The magistrate was very angry when he saw that the master had bought pig liver, and said, "Where are your ears!" " Hearing this, the master turned pale with fear and quickly replied, "Ear … Ear … here … in my … pocket!" "

2. In a busy market, a fish seller shouted, "Fresh fish!" At this time, a bubble gum seller immediately shouted: "bubble gum!" " Hearing this, the fish seller said to the sugar seller, "Hey, why did you say my fish was ruined?" The more they quarreled, the more fierce they became. Just then, a seller of bean sprouts shouted again: "bean sprouts!" " (Fighting), a security officer came over and asked, "Who else quarreled with them?" It happened that an avocado seller shouted, "avocado!" " After listening, the security guard said, "All right, take the four of you with you!" " ……

I said you were a pig, but you said: I am a pig. From then on, I will call you "pig head monster"! Finally one day, you can't help shouting at everyone: I'm not a pig!

1. A county magistrate with a strong accent went to the village to give a report: "Rabbit, shrimp, pig tail! Without pickles, pickles are too expensive! " Attention, comrades and villagers! Stop talking and have a meeting now! )

After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said, "Please give me sausages and pickles!" Now, please talk to the township head! )

The township head said, "Rabbit, the dog ate today's meal, and everyone is a big jerk!" " "Comrades, that's enough for today. We are all big bowls! )

"No pickles, I'll lick a shit for you." Don't talk, I'll tell you a story. )

The Chinese teacher with a strong local accent read an ancient poem named "Wochun" by Lu You to the students and asked them to dictate.

The Chinese teacher read aloud as follows. A student dictated the following.

Wo Chun, I'm stupid.

Mume smells flowers, I have no culture,

I hate the bottom, I have a low IQ,

If you hear me lying like water, ask me who I am.

Eduardo Chun Lv. A big donkey.

The coast is green, I am a donkey,

The coast is green, I am a donkey,

The coast is like a dark green. I am a stupid donkey.