Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Seeking the Vernacular Translation of Nian Yu Guan Yin and Pu Songling's Po.
Seeking the Vernacular Translation of Nian Yu Guan Yin and Pu Songling's Po.
There is a man named Sun in western Guangdong. He is a famous man. Born with six fingers, pedantic and slow. Believe him when others lie to him. Sometimes a banquet is held and a geisha sits on it. He just looks away. Someone knew about him, deliberately lured him to come over and let prostitutes cuddle him, forced him, and he blushed and sweated, making fun of him. Some described him as stupid, spread it to each other, and said some slanders. posthumous title called him "Sun Chi".
There is a big businessman and a rich prince in the city, and his relatives are also dignitaries and bureaucrats. I have a daughter named Po, who is absolutely beautiful. Choosing a son-in-law every day, the sons of big families compete to send marriage proposal gifts, but they are all dissatisfied with the merchant's mind. Sun just lost his wife, and someone teased him and advised him to propose. Without thinking about it, he listened to others and asked the matchmaker for help. Businessmen have long heard of his reputation and think he is poor. When the matchmaker was about to come out, he happened to meet Po. Po asked who would propose it, and the matchmaker told him that it was Sun Zichu. The woman quipped, "My mother-in-law went back and told him that I would marry him if he cut off the sixth finger." The matchmaker went back and told him that Sun said, "It's not difficult!" The matchmaker left, and he cut off his finger with an axe. The pain was unbearable, and the snow spilled all over the floor, and he almost died. It took several days to get up. Go to the matchmaker and show her your finger. The matchmaker was surprised and quickly told Po that Po was also surprised, and then smiled and said, "Please ask him to go to dementia again." When he heard this, he quickly took a shit and said that he was not stupid, but no one listened to him. On second thought, Po may not be as beautiful as a fairy. How can he raise his social status like that? Since then, the previous ideas have suddenly cooled down.
This year is catching up with Tomb-Sweeping Day. In the old custom, on this day, women travel and are frivolous teenagers. They also accompany each other in pairs and judge at will. Sun, a classmate of the literary society, strongly invited him to go. Some laughed at him and said, "Don't you want to meet the right person?" He knew that others were teasing him, but he was teased by Po and wanted to meet him very much, so he went with everyone happily.
Far away, I saw a woman resting under a tree, and evil teenagers surrounded the wall. They said, "This is Po." He went over and saw that it was Po. Take a closer look, and sure enough, Li Juan is incomparable. After a while, there were more people, and the woman got up and walked quickly. Everyone was in high spirits and commented on the first thing, and they were ecstatic. Only Sun was silent. When I went elsewhere, I looked back at him and saw that he was still standing in the same place, saying hello to him and not agreeing. They dragged him and said, "Did the soul go with Po?" He didn't answer either. Because he is always pedantic and dull, people are not surprised. Some people pull him, others pull him.
When I got home, I went straight to bed and lay down. I can't stand it all day. I'm in a coma. Don't wake up after greeting. It's no use summoning in the wild if his family suspects that he has lost his soul. He insisted on greeting, but he vaguely said, "I'm at Po's house." When I asked him carefully, I was silent. My family was panicked, confused and didn't know what had happened.
When he saw Po go, he was reluctant to give up and felt that his body had gone with him. Leaning against her skirt, others didn't see it, so they followed the girl back. Sit down, lie down and snuggle up to her. In the evening, I was intimate with Po and very happy. I feel hungry and want to go home, but I'm lost. Every time Po makes peace with someone in his dream and asks his name, he says, "I am Sun Zichu." Psychologically strange, but afraid to tell others. Sun lay for three days, panting as if he were going to die, and his family was particularly scared. The trustee tactfully told the businessman that he wanted to go to his house to summon spirits. The businessman smiled and said, "We have no friendship and we don't communicate. Why did you come to my house to summon the soul? " The family begged again and again before allowing it.
The witch took his original clothes, tidied them up in a hurry and left. Po asked them why. When he heard this, he was very scared. He didn't let them go anywhere else, but led them directly to their rooms, and they were summoned to their souls. When the witch returned to Sun's door, Sun was already moaning in bed. When I woke up, the calendar was correct about what the fragrance in Po's room was, what color it was and what its name was. Hearing this, Po was even more afraid. He secretly felt his affection. Sun Sheng stood up and sat alone all day thinking, as if he had forgotten everything. Visit Po every day, hoping to see him. On the day of the Bath Buddha Festival, I heard that Po was going to burn incense in Shuiyue Temple, so I went to the roadside in the morning to wait and watch his eyes shine. It was past noon when Po came. He saw Sun Sheng from the car, opened the curtain with his hand and stared at him. Sun also followed her car. The woman suddenly asked the servant to ask his name, and he answered politely. The soul is even more fascinated, and the car was gone before I went home.
When I came back, I was ill again. I was too sleepy to eat or drink. I called Po's name in my dream. Sometimes the soul is no longer lost. Canada used to keep a parrot and suddenly died. The youngest son is playing in bed. Sun Sheng thought that if he were a parrot, he could spread his wings and go to Po's house. I was just thinking, my body had already flown like a parrot and went straight to Po's bedroom. Po jumped on it happily, tied its legs and fed it pockmarked. He said loudly, "Sister, don't tie it. I am Sun Zichu. " The woman was surprised. When she saw the rope, she untied it and didn't fly away. The woman prayed and said, "I have remembered your affection." People and birds are different now. How can I recover from marriage? " The parrot said, "I want to get close to the jade body, and my wish is enough." Others feed it, but women feed it themselves. When a woman sits, snuggle up to her lap; Lie down and lean on the bed. After three days, the woman felt sorry for him and secretly sent someone to spy on her grandson who had been dead for three days. But my heart is not cold yet. The woman prayed again and said, "You can be a man again, and you must swear to obey." The parrot said, "lie to me!" " "Women swear. The parrot looked at her sideways, as if thinking something. After a while, the woman went to bed and took off her shoes. The parrot suddenly got out of bed and flew away with his shoes in his mouth. The woman quickly said hello and flew away.
The woman asked the servant to inquire about Sun Sheng's movements and came back to say that Sun Sheng had woken up. When the family saw the parrot with embroidered shoes in its mouth, they threw themselves on the ground and died. Strangely, Sun Sheng woke up immediately and went to look for shoes. Nobody knows why. The maid just arrived. She came in to see Sun Sheng and asked, "Where did you buy the shoes?" Sun Sheng said, "This is a token from Po. I told him myself. I dare not forget her promise. " The maid-in-waiting went back to tell Po that women were even more strange, so she told the maid to leak the situation to her mother. Mother asked accurately before she said, "The boy has a good name, but he is as poor as Sima Xiangru. We have chosen for so many years, afraid of being laughed at by dignitaries. " A woman swears not to marry anyone because of her shoes. The old man and the old lady had to promise her. Send someone to fly to Sun. Sun exultation, the disease immediately recovered. The businessman discussed with his daughter to recruit him as a son-in-law. The woman said, "A son-in-law can't stay in his father-in-law's house for a long time. Lang is poor, and staying for a long time is even more contemptible. Since the daughter promised him, she willingly lived in the hut and didn't complain about eating bran vegetables. " Sun Sheng then got married, and when they met, it felt like they were in another world.
From then on, the family had a dowry, a little property and a lot of products, but Sun was addicted to books and didn't know how to take care of small things. A woman is good at business, and she doesn't have to tie him down. After three years, the family is richer. Sun Sheng suddenly got diabetes and died. Po cried so bitterly that he didn't eat or sleep. She advised her not to listen and hanged herself at night. When her handmaid found out, she quickly saved herself, woke up and finally stopped eating. Within three days, gather relatives and friends to bury Sun Sheng. Suddenly I heard a groan in the coffin. When I opened it, I saw Sun Sheng come back to life. I said to myself, "I met the prince and was appointed minister of Cao because of his clean life." Suddenly it was announced, "Sun Bin's wife has arrived. The prince looked at the list of ghosts and said, "She shouldn't die." Someone said, "She hasn't eaten for three days. The prince replied, "I think your wife is just, and I will give you a second life for the time being." "So I asked the ghost pawn to send me a horse back." After that, my body gradually weakened. By the time of this year's contest, before entering the arena, many teenagers teased him, drew up seven strange questions together, led him to a secluded place, and said to him, "This is a test that was announced to you privately." He believed it, studied it day and night, and created seven arts. Everyone laughed at him. At that time, the examiner thought that the original title was fake, one was abnormal, the other was question type, and the seven arts overlapped, so Sun Sheng won the first prize. In the second year, he was admitted to the Imperial Academy. The emperor heard of his uniqueness and summoned him. He began to play in detail, and the emperor was very happy. After that, I summoned Po and rewarded him.
Some people say: "He is a fool, but he is strong-willed, so the bookworm's article must have kung fu;" The skill of an artistic nerd must be good-people who are down and out say they are not stupid, but they can lose everything for whoring and gambling. Are they idiots? This shows that the smart transition is really stupid, so where is Sun's stupidity? "
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