I have been depressed for 10 years, and now I am numb. Can I get better?

In modern society, many people have various psychological problems. In fact, the fundamental reason is that they don't understand the laws of psychology.

A teacher in Hengshui Psychological Counseling Center in Hebei Province has been suffering from mental illness for the past 10 years. Later, I tried various methods and read various materials before I understood the psychological law. It also helped many people get out of the psychological misunderstanding. These psychological laws have a great guiding effect on the psychology of normal people and can help us live and work better.

With the development of modern science, psychology has also been studied as a thing. But psychology is different from general physical phenomena. So many people have gone into a misunderstanding about psychological problems. They treat psychological problems mechanically. In reality, material one is one and material two is two, which is clear and mechanical, but the psychology is different. It is changeable. Therefore, it is very wrong for hospitals to treat mental disorders with drugs as the main means. Psychological problems are mainly psychological reasons. As long as the mentality gets better, the problem will be solved, which has little to do with physical fitness, unless the psychological influence hurts the body and requires physical therapy.

Freud's subconscious theory and psychoanalytic theory are of great scientific significance, but they are far from perfect. And it doesn't play a big role in the practical application of our psychology. For example, if you know all parts of a car quite well, but your driving skills are not good, you can't drive well, while if a person doesn't know all parts of a car, but his driving skills are good, he can drive better. So is psychology. Our psychological driving ability determines whether our psychological work is good or not. Freud's research in his later years plunged him into complete pessimism, not only for psychotherapy, but also for the whole mankind. Freud himself did not actually cure a typical patient with mental disorder, and Freud himself admitted this.

How to make our psychology better? Throughout the ages, there have been various discussions about this. In fact, we can get many useful inspirations from Laozi, Zhuangzi and Zen in ancient times. But when it comes to religion, many people may think of superstitious things. Of course, we should not believe in those gods and ghosts, which are unrealistic and illusory. It must be wrong to try to make the mind better through supernatural beliefs such as ghosts and gods. Although Buddhism is right to teach people to be kind. But these ancient ideas do have some real merits. That's some knowledge and methods about psychology, which can also be said to be skills.

For example, Zen advocates epiphany. In fact, this enlightenment is the skill and method of mastering psychological laws, but it should not be regarded as knowledge. It is an experience that you need to really feel and actually use, and you will know when you feel better. For example, something you haven't eaten, no matter what others say about its taste, you still won't know its real taste. You won't know immediately until you eat it yourself. Of course, don't regard enlightenment as a matter of becoming a Buddha and an immortal. It's not that sacred. We only regard it as an understanding of our own psychology.

What method is this? In fact, it's so simple that you may think it's not a good way, so you will slip away from us. We like to complicate problems, and our instinct makes what we think is simple even more incorrect. This is why there is a big drink in Zen Buddhism, that is, the master holds a wooden stick and forces his disciples to understand, which means that you still don't understand such a simple thing.

This method is "acceptance". Is to sincerely accept all your feelings, feelings, thoughts, behaviors, pains, fears, happiness and so on. It's that simple. While accepting, you can also observe what your mind is thinking and feel your feelings, just like looking at another person. As Buddhism says, "seeing" and "feeling". Of course, you can accept it without thinking about how to accept it.

This method is equally useful for normal people and people with psychological disorders. In fact, there is not much difference between normal people and abnormal people, even ideological differences.

We can use a person with psychological barriers as an example, which is easier to understand. For example, a person with mental disorder always checks whether the door is closed before going to bed every day. Even though he already knew that the door was closed, he would close it again. If he doesn't go, he will feel uncomfortable. The door is closed almost every time. He realized that it was a disease and was troubled by it. If you accept it, you will accept the idea, the behavior, and the trouble you have caused. Then you'll be fine. Actually, it's normal for us to have strange ideas. Why can't we have this idea? Why not think so is normal. If we regard having that idea and not having that idea as normal, then we will have a broader mind. For example, Zhuangzi's family died, and he was not sad at all. Instead, he plays musical instruments. If someone feels abnormal, ask him why he is not sad. He said, is it sad to die? Isn't sleeping with heaven and earth a happy thing?

The man who always closes the door is annoyed at having such an idea, so he tries to suppress it, but it is such a psychology. The more depressed you are, the more he resists. If this confrontation continues, the conflict will get bigger and bigger. This is a stupid thing. If he accepts this idea and this behavior, he will get better gradually. Of course, it is not a sudden change for the better, but a gradual process, which is very important. We can call it transformation, and it will get better before we know it. Just like when we are sleeping, we fall asleep unconsciously. You never know when we fall asleep. Of course, the duration of this change varies from person to person. Some people are quick, just for a while, while others need days or dozens of days.

When accepting, our psychology gradually stops fighting, and then I and our psychology become one, just like "no self" There is an allusion. Someone asked the Buddha why I was upset. After the Buddha explained it to him, he immediately had an epiphany. Buddha probably means that you are upset, but you have been pestering your heart. Originally, you didn't care. Why are you bothering it? In other words, accept your troubles and you won't worry. Therefore, there is also an allusion. Shen Xiu said: "You are a bodhi tree, and your heart is like a mirror. You should always wipe it frequently to prevent dust." Huineng said, "Bodhi has no trees, and the mirror is not a stage, so there is no, where can it be dust?" Huineng thus put on the coat of a master. It is unnecessary to struggle to clean it often. So Buddhism often uses short stories to inspire people.

People who close the door are actually more annoyed with that idea. When he accepts, he can always close the door, even like to close the door, but he can also leave the door open and accept the discomfort of not closing the door. Gradually, it doesn't matter to him whether he closes the door or not. No psychological barriers. This process is actually a very delicate process. Sometimes it is difficult to express our words clearly, but it is easy to understand as long as we have experienced them. What is important is that we have actually experienced them.

In addition, we should also believe that it will be good to accept, that there will be, and that there will be no chance to experience correctness if we don't believe. We can call it objective psychological science. The enlightenment of Zen is also an objective psychological science.

For another example, some people have insomnia. For insomnia, medication is useless. It's all psychological. That's what you think when you can't sleep, and I'll let it sleep. I will accept until dawn, I will accept troubles and worries. Of course, you close your eyes and pose for sleep. You have to believe that acceptance will be good. In fact, it will be fine, slowly, unconsciously, you will definitely enter the dream. This process is also very subtle.

In short, various psychological problems are similar. The solution is similar. It's not necessarily a bad thing to have psychological barriers. As the saying goes, without enlightenment, there is no mystery without enlightenment.

In fact, we can also learn a lot from this experience. There are also "inaction" like Laozi and Zhuangzi. Our job is to work. If we don't work, are we playing? When we are not working, our bodies are running and our mouths are breathing. In a sense, we can't say that we are working. So even if you accomplish nothing, in a sense, it is the same as achieving great things, that is, your thoughts should be tolerant. Sometimes secular ideas are one-sided. And the weakness of Laozi and Zhuangzi's thought can overcome toughness. It all makes sense.

When we accept ourselves, we can feel more. Sometimes, even if a person sits quietly, he can feel incomparable pleasure and know that happiness and pain are relative, wave after wave, and are not controlled by our thoughts. Many times, what you think becomes unimportant at all. You just have to experience it. You don't want to accept it, but you are accepting it, accepting it better. Our thinking sometimes binds us, leaving ridiculous ideas, and we will become more free and wonderful. Our hearts are big, and we have only experienced a small part.

Our world is very complicated. There are too many questions that we don't understand. Many people like to ask why. Sometimes, for some questions, you should not think about why. Don't go into a dead end. You can't understand. In a word, the world is like this. Our brain's thinking ability is really small. Our world is also very contradictory, truth and error are relative, truth is wrong in a sense, and error may be right in a sense. Sometimes it is difficult for our words to express many things, and there are many imperfections in verbal expression, so it is meaningless to argue. Winning is not necessarily right, and losing is not necessarily wrong. As long as we realize the real meaning, it is enough.