Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - What are the evil and absurd folk stories?
What are the evil and absurd folk stories?
1. There was a sleepy man in the Ming Dynasty. He woke up one morning and called his family, but there was no response. He got up and looked around, but he couldn't see anyone. The pot is boiling water, and the leaves in the yard are swept by half. It seems that it was there just now. I doubt it, but I'm in no hurry. So I went out into the street. There is no one in the street. There are many shops and shops, but there are no creatures. People and animals are gone. Looking for it for a long time, there is still no one. It seems that all the towns have disappeared except him.
I felt cold in my heart and wanted to run away with the travelling expenses, only to find a familiar person walking in the same place. At first glance, he was stuck between roadblocks and hurried forward to ask questions, but the man's eyes were closed, his eyebrows were locked and he said nothing, which was quite strange. Push him away from the barricade, continue on his way, and follow him to the north intersection of the town. He found a big ditch, but he didn't remember a ditch. The person who went up suddenly accelerated and jumped into the ditch.
Before he could stop him, the man looked forward and sat down on the ground. The whole town in the ditch is full of people and animals, with boiling blood and bloody flesh. The man was so scared that he fled to the north. An hour later, the sky suddenly fell, the earth shook, and the town quickly disappeared into gray smoke. The man sat for a long time and then went to the north.
There is a young man named Zhao Qi in Nanpi. He was practicing calligraphy in the room when he heard someone knocking at the door and asked him who wouldn't answer. Suddenly there was a knock at the door, and he asked him who had not answered. So the young man opened the door and looked at a female ghost standing in front of him, with a long tongue and ferocious eyes. He was pale and the young man screamed. The result was a nightmare.
At this time, the knock on the door rang again, and the boy was startled and asked with a trembling voice, "Who is it?" The door shouted, "Qier, this is for your mother. Open the door. " It turned out to be his mother, so the boy answered the door. His mother said why he didn't open the door for a long time. Zhao Qi said that she had just had a nightmare about a female ghost, which was terrible. His mother smiled and said, "Is that right?"
The boy looked up and saw where his mother was. It's the female ghost who gave him a ferocious smile just now. The boy's legs were weak and he fainted. When he woke up, he found himself still lying on the table with a pen in his hand. At this time, the door rang again, and the boy was embarrassed, sweating and saying nothing.
Suddenly someone knocked at the door and the boy sat there trembling. Suddenly, the female ghost head jumped out of the window and smiled grimly. "Why don't you open the door for your mother?" The teenager vomited twice and vomited all his intestines. Black at the moment, unconscious. Then I woke up and found myself lying in bed with my family around me. With these words, he hid in the corner and curled up. From then on, Zhao Qi was afraid to meet people. When he met people, he asked, "Are you a man or a ghost?" Everyone sympathizes with it.
3. My father-in-law, Ma Zhouzhuan, once told an anecdote: A man named Liao from Dongguang South Township called his hometown to build a graveyard to collect and bury the remains of ghosts who died in a foreign land and no one was buried. The villagers nearby are very kind, and they have the money to contribute, collect the remains of the countryside and bury them carefully. They have been doing this charity for 30 years.
In the early years of Yongzheng, the plague raged. Liao had a dream at night, dreaming that 100 people were standing outside the city gate in the dark, and the first one bowed down, and the people behind them all fell to the ground with a "wow". The first one said, "The plague is coming. Tomorrow, please burn a dozen paper flags and a hundred wooden knives pasted with silver foil. Let's wave flags and shout, and hold steel knives to fight the plague to the death to repay the people's great kindness."
Liao woke up in a cold sweat. When he thought that the plague was raging nearby, he would rather believe it. He quickly bought a paper flag knife and burned it in front of the Yi Tomb. A few days later, in the middle of the night, people nearby vaguely heard the sound of fighting in the fields and stayed up all night until dawn. Later, none of the villagers nearby was really infected with the plague, which surprised the whole world.
There is a gentleman named Yang Ping in the south of the city. He is good at drawing beautiful women and is well known. There are many people asking for paintings. The beautiful women in his paintings are lifelike, beautiful and charming. Not to mention, they are ashamed to admire flowers. But he is unhappy every day and often sighs at his paintings: "If only it were true!" "
One night in my sleep, I suddenly felt a person standing by the bed. When I woke up, I saw that it was actually a beautiful woman in my painting. She is charming, except for a scar on her forehead, but it's no big deal. She is still beautiful. Yang Ping was pleasantly surprised first, knowing that this was what he wanted in his dream. Today, the fairy came to the world, which is a great honor. At this time, the beauty said shyly, "Sir, if you want to be with me, we can meet in Houshan Garden tomorrow night."
Then he turned and walked out of the door. When he left, he turned and smiled, and Yang Ping was deeply touched. I stayed up all night. When I got up in the morning, I saw that the beautiful woman in the painting was gone. I went out into the street and told others about it. Everyone doesn't believe it, so it's a joke. Yang Ping was angry and anxious, but there was nothing he could do.
At this time, an old beggar next to him listened for a long time and told Yang Ping that the beautiful woman had a scar on her forehead. I'm afraid she is not a fairy, so Mr Wang Can can't go. Yang looked at it, thinking that he was poor and dirty, making fun of himself, snorted contemptuously and left by himself. Everyone said that the beautiful woman he painted was possessed. The next day, many people went to Yang Ping's house to paint, but they were not at home.
There was a lot of talk, and the old beggar said that he had gone to the back hill. Everyone was very angry and went to the back hill to look for it. Yang Ping was found in an abandoned hut. His clothes were open, his stomach was broken, there was blood everywhere, stinking flies everywhere, and his internal organs were gone. It's terrible.
The old beggar sighed. "He didn't listen to my advice. This is not a fairy. It's obviously a painting that hurts people. The scar on his forehead is where the painted skin is stitched. Many people in the city are not good enough to lead him to the back hill to kill him. " Hearing this, everyone was frightened and went home to burn all Yang Ping's paintings and throw them away.
There is a Taoist named Song in Jiangxi. He usually practices in the mountains and occasionally goes down to treat the people. He is a minor celebrity. He spent the night in the temple, an alchemist. Suddenly he heard something in the material room behind the temple, except cats and mice. He doesn't care.
After a while, there was the cry of the children. Taoist priests are very alert. He held hands and made a calculation. He felt bad, so he took the peach wooden sword and left with the paper. Later, he broke through the window and looked around. He saw a child sucking the blood of a mouse and trying to make a ghost. A black shadow outside the window turned out to be a female ghost in white. Daochang was furious: "This is a clean place for Taoist temples, and you two Uber are so presumptuous! Listen, I'll take you! ! "
Just as she was about to start work, the female ghost actually knelt down and cried, "Taoist, please don't start work in a hurry." I come from Jia's village in Liuyang. There was a famine in the village. Dog officials are greedy for disaster relief and have no choice but to make a living. He fled with his son, begging for food on the road, and met bandits on the way. The child fled to the river, thinking that life was so miserable. It is better to die and throw your son into the river, thus losing your life.
Who knows that there are too many ghosts in the river to be reborn, and my mother and son are driven out. Where monsters bully my mother and son, there is no place to live. There is no way out, so we have to hide in the Taoist residence and suck the blood of snake people and mice, and never hurt anyone.
After hearing this, the Taoist priest sighed, "I suffered a lot when I was alive, but I still can't rest in peace after death." It is said that people are ghosts, but I didn't expect this. " When the Taoist priest asked, he promised to do something about mother and daughter.
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