Tell jokes? ⊙!

Once there was a young woman in the upper berth of a train sleeper, as beautiful as a thief. At night, there are only two of us in the whole train car. The young woman seemed a little scared, so she climbed down from above and said to me, you look like a good man, so you shouldn't have any thoughts on me, should you? I was surprised to say that good people also like beautiful women. You are so beautiful, it is normal for me to have thoughts about you. The beauty said helplessly, do you have a wife? I shook my head and said that I was not married. Then she asked, do you have a girlfriend? I shook my head and said that my first love was still there. She sighed and said, it's late at night, and it's just the two of us in the whole sleeper car, so you bully me. Forget it, I'll just be your girlfriend. I feel dizzy when I have another girlfriend for no reason, but it's good to finally end my single state. After getting off the train, I took her to a big meal and bought her jewelry bags and clothes. Her mood has obviously improved. She said with a smile, I didn't expect you to have money. I shook my head and said, I have only saved tens of thousands of dollars after working for so many years, and I spent it all on you today. She looked at me with a complicated face and said, you are very kind to me, but you have spent all your money. What should we do with our future life? It's impossible to drink northwest wind, is it?

2. Brother-in-law and sister are engaged and bought a new house in Tomson Yipin icon, only 100000 yuan. Unexpectedly, the prospective mother-in-law used Alipay to transfer it to her brother-in-law the next day 100000. So my brother-in-law bought a house with a price of 1800000, and also bought two big toy pigs with bamboo charcoal package on the sofa to absorb formaldehyde. One day, mom and dad came to visit us. When parents were sitting on the sofa drinking tea, their mother suddenly asked, "There is formaldehyde in this new house. Did you put anything in it? " ? Do you need to buy green plants? Brother-in-law said without thinking, "Yes, there are two pigs sitting on the sofa to help take drugs." ..."

After being laid off, my father-in-law stayed at home and became addicted to alcohol. He is a poor drinker and goes crazy every time he gets drunk, so his mother-in-law secretly changes the wine in the bottle into water. Yesterday, my father-in-law came home, picked up the bottle in his hand, drank a few mouthfuls and got drunk again. Mother-in-law wondered, "Drinking water can also make you drunk?" After listening, he said, "No wonder this drunkenness is a bit difficult to get rid of today!" "

4. Ms. Chongqing was cheated for 6.5438+0.5 million yuan a week. After calling the police, she sent a message to the liar, and the liar ignored her all the time. She had long planned to give a screenshot of the deposit of 9 1 10,000, hoping that the liar would be greedy again. I didn't expect this liar to be really greedy. As soon as I saw that there was still so much money, I immediately called back Ms. Zhou's 654.38+0.5 million. In order to show the professional level of his liar, he also paid more than 90 million interest. After Ms. Zhou got the cheated 6.5438+0.5 million yuan, she decisively blacked out the liar. And told the police the news at the first time.

5. I used to drive my best friend's fit and accidentally hit a street lamp. The insurance policy shows that the car was damaged by 77,000 yuan, and Ping An Insurance said that the car was scrapped to 77,000 yuan. The garage bid is 80000, and all kinds of routines are full, so I don't know how to operate. Plus it's not your own car, so I'll hand it over to the insurance company for fear of trouble. Later, I asked my girlfriend to know that his car ran 9000 kilometers, which was quite valuable.

6. I met the coach for the first time when I took the driver's license test. The coach took out fifty dollars: go and buy me two packs of Chinese. I didn't know until I got to the supermarket that a pack of Chinese cigarettes was 55! I have no choice but to pay for it myself. It is impossible to wait for the coach to pay back the money! After taking the driving test for half a year, Zhuzi went to the driving school again. Coach: New here? Pillar: OK, please take care of the coach! The coach skillfully took out fifty dollars: buy me two packs of Chinese! Then I took the money and went home! Go later!

7. In high school, there was a girl in my class who I admired for a long time. She is simply the goddess in my mind. One day, she borrowed money from me and promised to pay it back, but I still hesitated. The goddess asked: What are you worried about? I said: My mother said that the more beautiful a woman is, the more incredible she is. As a result, the goddess said: You believe your mother's words so much, it seems that your mother's appearance is really unusual.

8. The company has a beautiful new colleague. After getting along for two months, I found that she was very talented and slowly fell in love with her, so I decided to win her first. During the lunch break today, she was practicing her handwriting. I walked up to her and said, your handwriting is really ugly. Come on, let me show you my hand. So I picked up the pen in her hand and wrote "I like you" on the paper. Unexpectedly, after reading it, she pouted and said, your writing is even uglier. Thought: I guess it's over. Just as she was about to leave, she stopped me: Brother, take your paper back. After I took the paper from her hand, I took a closer look and saw a line on the paper, "I like you, too." Hehe, as expected, God still cares for me.