Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Who can give a super funny joke! thank you
Who can give a super funny joke! thank you
A drunk accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by to watch. A policeman came over: What's the matter? Drunk: I don't know. I just arrived.
Some people say that a woman is like a book, so what book is a fat woman like? [bound volume]
Grandma and granddaughter are in the consulting room. The doctor said to the beautiful girl, untie your clothes. No, doctor, the old lady said, I am a patient. Is it? Then stick out your tongue.
A psychopath was lying in bed singing, singing, turning over and continuing to sing. The doctor asked him: just sing, why do you want to turn? Psycho said: fool, of course, after singing side A, sing side B!
Xiaoming always sleeps in class, and the teacher criticizes him: Can you stop sleeping? ? Xiao Ming replied: No, because I am a poor student.
People get married because they lack judgment; People also divorce because of lack of endurance; People remarry because of lack of memory.
There is a boy in the class who is a famous sissy. Once the art teacher asked him to be a clay figurine, and he shouted: I want to be a man! The deskmate picked up a sentence on the side: alas, you finally figured it out.
The sun is pregnant, play a song. Hee hee ... (the disaster caused by the moon)!
A cool poem about falling in love in college: loneliness, loneliness, not falling in love in loneliness, but perverting in loneliness.
A man wanted to jump off a building, and his wife shouted, honey, take it easy, we still have a long way to go! Hearing this, the man swooped down. The policeman said, you really shouldn't threaten him like this!
On the bus, a standing pregnant woman said to the man sitting next to her, don't you know I'm pregnant? I saw the man nervously say: the child is not mine!
A fat lady often boasts of her good figure and insists on complimenting her. Lao Zhai said: It's so plump, how can you draw the wind Yun Dan on your waist!
( ! ) ordinary ass (_ _! _ _) Fat ass (! ) Tight ass (_). _) flat ass (_ * _) inflamed ass
A couple gave birth to eight children, followed by osmanthus, camellia, plum blossom, chrysanthemum, yellow flower, grass flower and wild flower, and the last one was called money-free flower.
Those who come home from work are poor ghosts, drunkards at 9 o'clock, lechers at 1 1, gamblers at 2-3 o'clock, and wild ghosts who don't go home!
Your phone bill balance is insufficient, please recharge it according to the prompt: burn a 100 yuan bill to ashes, open the back cover of the mobile phone, pour the ashes in and cover it again. Thank you for your cooperation.
I want to say three words to you, but you know its weight. Once I say it, I'm afraid we'll even be friends, but I can't control my feelings and finally confess to you: have you eaten?
I haven't heard from you for a long time, and my heart is in a mess. I always miss you, go to your favorite pond, your favorite dining cabin and your favorite sleeping lawn, but I still haven't seen you, and my heart is broken! How to lose such a big pig?
I saw you in the street just now. Why do you always shake your hair when walking? Pat yourself on the shoulder? A lot of dandruff is not like this, is it? Be careful not to be caught taking ecstasy!
Watch out! There's someone behind! Don't listen to me in panic. First, slowly lift your left hand to sweep your shoulders, and then slowly lift your right hand to do the same. Well, dandruff has been dusted off. ...
You are a cigarette, I am a tobacco leaf, you are a flower, I am nectar, you are hair, and I am dandruff. In short, we are the best partners and will never part!
Shake your head three times and see what the screen will look like. Don't you see any difference? Take a closer look! Yes! Your dandruff is all over the screen!
I will never forget what you looked like that day. Snowflakes fall from your head, reflecting your charming face ... hey! Do you have too much dandruff?
In this charming season, I always miss you around me. I want to raise a white dove and let it fly over your head every day, even if it is just a simple action: pull a pile of shit on your head.
I called you just now, and the prompt was "This user goes to the toilet, please dial later." I'll call you later, and the prompt says, "This user fell into the cesspit, please redial later."
You can show people's shortcomings better than a mirror, and you are more knowledgeable than Zhuangzi and grandson, so people affectionately call you the grandson of Jingzhuang.
You stand on a leaf and play the leading role in a famous book-!
There is a pervert who often destroys people's faces with sulfuric acid. One day, he followed you for attempted murder. You suddenly feel something is wrong. When you turn your head, the pervert is shocked: "Shit, this is spilled!" "
I see vicissitudes in your brow, confidence in your eyes, years on your forehead and leeks between your lips and teeth. Go brush your teeth!
Wheat falls in love with millet, millet falls in love with peaches, peaches fall in love with plums, but plums fall in love with wheat. Guess if Wheat is a boy or a girl! Hee hee, I can't guess whether it's a man or a woman!
April Fool's Day SMS
I said, you are a pig, but you said, I am a pig. From then on, I called you a pig. One day, you finally shouted, I'm not a pig.
I haven't heard from you for a long time I wonder if you are all right now. I passed by your house the other day and went in to have a look. I saw you asleep, and I didn't have the heart to wake you up. Hey, only you have a litter of pigs!
A lazy cat went crazy after a mouse and finally got married. After marriage, the cat took care of the mouse in every way, and the mouse soon became fat. The mouse was very moved: Dear, why are you so kind to me? Hey hey, the cat smiled. You'll know when you get fat.
Meeting you is the beginning of my heart, falling in love with you is my happy choice, owning you is my most precious wealth, and stepping on the red carpet is my eternal motivation. I love you the most. Too bad I sent it to the wrong person.
65438+1 October 1 is Little Singles Day, 65438+1October1and 65438+1October1is Middle Singles Day./. Male bachelors are called "Guang Guang", female bachelors are called "Mingming" and right ones are called "Shuangshuang".
Singles Day is coming, birds are in love, ants live together, flies are pregnant, mosquitoes have miscarried, butterflies have divorced, caterpillars have remarried, and frogs have children. What are you waiting for? "
Sample! Drink Langjiu, walk the dog, sing folk songs and take the water; Comb the head shape of the lovelorn and walk with affectionate steps; Open your broken eyes and look for the rain and dew of love everywhere. You are so cool!
I almost forgot what day it is today. If I hadn't thought of you, I wouldn't have noticed. Day by day, today is your good day, you must not forget, today is your holiday, I wish you a happy singles day!
I almost forgot what day it is today. If I hadn't thought of you, I wouldn't have noticed. Day by day, today is your good day, you must not forget, today is your holiday, I wish you a happy singles day!
It's generous of a friend to be able to drink one or two glasses of wine. Can drink two or two and drink half a catty, such gay party motto; Can drink half a catty and drink a catty, such a buddy is the most intimate; Can drink a catty a barrel, and later promoted to vice president.
Urgent reminder: look at the left first, then look at the right. Please be careful of a mental illness who has just come out. His characteristic is that he looks around with his mobile phone.
Chickens are used to lay eggs, cows do what they have to do, cats go door to door, sheep are baked in the future, and dogs are used for people. Just wait for the circle.
These two days are really cold. You must take care of yourself. Don't freeze. -As the saying goes, people freeze their legs and pigs freeze their mouths. I have put on my pants, so you should buy a mask quickly. -All the western regions protect you.
Do you know that?/You know what? I miss you, I really miss you, I miss you day and night, I toss and turn, I can't sleep at night, I miss my heart, I miss my emotional state, when will you repay me the money you owe me?
I was born useful, but I can't understand it! One day, Wang Di woke up from a dream. Get up at eight o'clock tomorrow morning, and he will understand after eating the cake (the third word of each sentence is a surprise)
A college student was caught by the enemy. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, where are you from? I'll electrocute you if you don't tell me! The college student replied to the enemy's words and was electrocuted. He said, I'm from TV University!
There are four kinds of pigs: domestic pigs raised at home, wild boars born in the mountains, stupid pigs who read the information, stupid pigs who laugh, stupid pigs who are angry, and dead pigs who don't reply to the information.
Life: debut at the age of 0, basic orientation at the age of 30, retirement at the age of 60, playing mahjong at the age of 70, sunbathing at the age of 80, lying in bed at the age of 90, 100 hanging on the wall.
The long road of life, who should take a few steps, the wife should take care of, and the lover should get along. There is a cook at home, find a good-looking one outside, and there is a vacancy in my heart. Stay two, stay one, and develop 34567.
I see vicissitudes in your brow, confidence in your eyes, years on your forehead and leeks between your lips and teeth. Go brush your teeth!
I send you a flower to show that I miss you, and two flowers to show that I miss you very much. I'll send you flowers from all over the mountains-don't run, here comes the bumblebee.
I am a lonely old tree on the roadside. I stood here for thousands of years waiting for your arrival, until one day you appeared, and I cheered for you-demo, if I can't smash you, I will be in vain.
Thanks for the acquaintance in this life. I am obsessed with you. I am sure that you are the love of my life. Without you, my life is bleak. How much I need you, come back to me: RMB!
Hungry, I can't resist your temptation. When I was in close contact with you, you gave me an unspeakable pleasure. I feel the world is turning. I want to have a big fight with you, but I'm afraid of getting pregnant ... dear beer.
Tea, drink strong; Road, go straight; Eat pig's trotters well; Ah, this one with a mouse is not bad. Ha ha.
I will be very happy with you, you are my pistachio. Every time I get close to you, I feel warm, and tonight is no exception. When I finally meet you after waiting, I want to say loudly: I love your computer!
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