A funny word from a circle of friends

1. Teacher: "Classmates, do any of you know what mixed doubles are?" A student: "I know, I saw it last night." Teacher: "Please introduce 1." A student: "But my dad said, don't wash your dirty linen in public."

I can't find a girlfriend, so I have to tell my fortune. Fortune teller: Your first half life is doomed to be unattractive. My eyes lit up: what about the rest of my life? Fortune teller: I'll get used to it for the rest of my life.

3. I read yesterday that drinking alcohol can lead to high blood pressure, heart disease, uremia and alcoholic hepatitis! Scared to death, I put down my book, quickly drank a few glasses of wine to suppress my shock, and made up my mind: I will never read again, it's too scary!

At work today, I found a big piece of purple on my colleague's face, so I asked what was going on. He said he was hit by a bike. Hit by a bike? How can you hit your face when you ride a bike? He replied, don't mention it, the idiot on the opposite bike stretched out his fist at the moment of collision.

5. I talked about a girlfriend who studied nursing in college. Girlfriends often practice their hands, especially injections! Dormitory inspection, the needle was found, take me to the security office. The teacher looked at the pinhole in my arm and it took a long time to explain that I didn't take drugs.

6. I just got a haircut, and many people are taking numbers. I heard a serious buddy say, Master, what's wrong with you? Are you making my scalp numb? Master came over and said, it's okay. My attenuator is a little leaking.

7. When something goes wrong, I will not rush to blame others, but reflect on myself first. If it is really my fault, I will think about how to pass it on to others!

8. A boy went to his classmate's house and saw a big dog in front of his classmate's house. The classmate shouted at the door, "Why don't you come in?" Boy: "Does this dog bite?" Classmate: "We also want to know, because we just came!" " "

9. My back itches a little. Please help me see if my angel wings will grow.

10. I swear with my life that I will fall in love this year. But whose life will be used has not been decided.

1 1. I bought a can of mimosa today. I'm not shy to go back. Go back and ask the boss. The boss said, "Maybe you bought this pot to lose face."

12. It is said that you can't have your cake and eat it, but God really cares for me. I can be poor and ugly, and fat and short go hand in hand.

13. I once had schizophrenia. After active treatment, it has now recovered.

14. A group of friends are drinking. A buddy insisted on riding his motorcycle after drinking too much, only to see him stagger out of the hotel. As soon as he got on the motorcycle, he cursed the hotel security guard: What do you think of the car? My front was stolen! "The security guard had a black line on his face and said silently," Eldest brother, you are sitting backwards.

15. In fact, rich people are very low-key. For example, I ride a bike every day, and no one knows that I have an electric car at home.

16. My boyfriend and I were eating in a restaurant, and a couple at the next table were eating. The man has always advised the woman to eat more: eat more and gain weight. I looked at my husband around me: I also want to eat more and gain weight. Husband: Stop eating. It would be perfect if people were fatter. If you are fatter, you will only have a tail compared with a pig. I ...

17. At noon, the boss called his colleagues and said that there was a traffic jam at a certain intersection and asked them to send him a box lunch. In the evening, my colleague called me, still at that intersection, and ordered two lunches.

18. There are not many beautiful skins, and there are fewer interesting souls. The ugly and vicious pig climbed all over the floor.

19. The most beautiful thing in the world is eating meat. Never betray, never cheat, eat a catty, grow a catty, and always treat each other sincerely.

20. The reason why video games are so attractive to idle people is that unlike your life, you in video games always have a clear mission in life.

2 1. I am confused and helpless. I hope a rich man can see through my bluff and let me take off all my disguises and walk into his safe haven.

22. A person who is determined to leave you can't tie it even with a chain, but I think you can try it with a gold chain, which may have unexpected effects!

23. Everyone's life is a book, others' is a happy life, and mine is a complete collection of jokes.

24. Doing it well is called self-confidence. Shameless, if done well, it is called excellent psychological quality.