Tell a good joke I am! ! !

1. The chimpanzee accidentally stepped on the poop of the gibbon. The gibbon gently and carefully cleaned it and they fell in love. People ask how they got together? The chimpanzee said with emotion: Ape dung! It’s all ape dung!

2. I said: "You are a pig." You said: "I am a pig!" From now on, I will call you a pig. Finally one day, you couldn't help shouting at me in front of everyone: "I'm not a pig!"

3. When you wake up tomorrow, there will be a mosquito lying on your pillow and a mosquito next to you. A suicide note: I struggled all night, but I couldn't pierce your face. Your shame is so thick that I can't live in this world! Lord, forgive him! I committed suicide.

4. One day, a mother and son had lunch together. The son asked the mother fly: Why do we eat poop every day? The mother fly said angrily: Don't say such disgusting words while eating, eat it while it's hot! !

5. A college student was captured by the enemy. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole, and then asked him: Where are you from? If you don’t tell me, I’ll electrocute you! A college student replied to his enemy and was electrocuted to death. He said: I am from TV University!

6. Two dumplings got married. After seeing off the guests, the groom returned to the bedroom and found a meatball lying on the bed! The groom was shocked and asked where the bride was. Meatballzi said shyly: "I hate it. You won't recognize me when I take off my clothes!"

7. Four mice brag: A: I eat rat poison as candy every day; B: I don’t step on a mouse for a day and make my feet itchy; C: I don’t feel safe on the street only a few times a day; D : It’s getting late, go home and hug the cat

8. One night, a naked man hailed a taxi. The female driver stared at him intently. The naked man was furious and shouted: You've never seen a fucking naked man! The female driver was also furious: Let me see where you got the money from!

9. Do you have a TV over there? Now hurry up and watch CCTV. Zhao Benshan was killed in the bombing. Pol.ice blocked the Northeast. 19 people died, 11 were missing, and 1 was deceived!

10. A drunk man accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by to watch. A policeman came over and asked: What happened? Drunk man: I don’t know, I just arrived too

< p>11. A shy boy finally got up the courage to ask his beloved girl: What kind of boy do you like? The girl said: I am in love with you. When the boy asked again, it was still the same, so he had to say sadly: Can't the head be flatter?

12. Wolf pups are vegetarian from birth. Wolf parents and wolf mothers racked their brains to train their wolf cubs to hunt. Finally, the Sirius parents were delighted to see their son chasing the rabbit. The wolf cub grabbed the rabbit and said fiercely: Boy! Hand over the carrot!

13. In front of the ramen shop counter, a beautiful girl is waiting in line. When she arrived, the ramen chef asked: Do you want thick or thin? The girl replied: I will eat whatever you pull.

14. A man and a woman were having an affair. The husband suddenly came home. The man jumped out of the window and ran away without putting on his clothes. He walked on the street and watched onlookers. The man pretended to be nonchalant and looked at the sky: ah, this is the earth. . Passersby said: Cao, pretending to be an alien.

15. The white rabbit Q B the gray wolf and ran away. The wolf chased him angrily. The rabbit wiped his body with dirt and pretended to be the gray rabbit. He wore glasses and read the newspaper. The wolf asked: Can you see a white rabbit? Rabbit: Is it the white rabbit that rapes the wolf? Wolf Shame: I, KAO, got the news so soon?

16. Chief: Hello, comrades! Soldier: Hello, chief! Chief: Comrades are all tanned! Soldier: The leader is even darker! The commander patted a soldier on the chest and said: How well these muscles have been trained! Soldier: Report to the leader, I am a female soldier.

17. I saw a penny on the side of the road. I was about to bend down to pick it up. It turned out to be phlegm. I*, who vomits is so round?

18. When the nurse saw a patient drinking in the ward, she walked over and whispered to him: "Be careful!" The patient smiled and said: "Baby."

19 The miser went out on business and was afraid that others would secretly drink the wine he just ordered, so he wrote on the paper: I spit in the cup. After a while he came back and found a few more words on the note: I spit out it too!

20. Someone was riding a bicycle on the street, crossed an intersection, and moved forward.

When the traffic police saw it, he exclaimed: "Good palm!" Someone waved happily and replied: "Comrades, thank you for your hard work!"

21. The teacher wanted the sports committee member to confirm whether all the girls in the class were here, so that's right He said: "Go and clean up all the girls in the class." The sports committee was a little pervert and asked quickly: "Who should I kiss?" The teacher said: "I know I want you to go!"

22. Junior high school In math class, the teacher was talking about equation transformations. He rolled up his sleeves on the podium and shouted loudly: Students, pay attention! I'm going to transform! ……

Hope it can help you!

If you have read all the above 22 text messages, I can only say SORRY to you, I wasted your time...

If the above 22 text messages have amused you. This article, please help me give it a "like", don't let it sink in, and let others have a chance to laugh happily. Being happy alone is not as good as having everyone happy. A good person will have peace in his life.