The teacher joked with the students.

One. The Chinese teacher read aloud as follows. A student dictated the following.

Wo Chun, I'm stupid.

Mume smells flowers, I have no culture.

I hate the bottom, I have a low IQ,

If you hear me lying like water, ask me who I am.

Eduardo Chun Lv. A big donkey.

The coast is green, I am a donkey,

The coast is green, I am a donkey,

The coast is like a dark green. I am a stupid donkey.

Two. One day, when the teacher came into the classroom, the students stood up and shouted, "Good morning, teacher!" " "

The teacher said angrily, "Good morning? What shall I do in the afternoon? Not good? "

So the students shouted together: "Good afternoon, teacher!"

The teacher said angrily, "What about my evening?"

The students shouted together again: "Good evening, teacher!" "

The teacher nodded and said, "That's it. Now shout it again! " "

The students shouted: "Good morning, teacher, good afternoon and good evening!" "

The teacher said, "Sit down! Today we are going to review antonyms. Let's practice like this. When I say something, you say the antonym loudly. Start now. "

Teacher: "The weather is fine today."

Student: "The weather is terrible today."

Teacher: "There is sunshine everywhere."

Student: "There are clouds everywhere."

Teacher: "The road is crowded with people."

Student: "There is no one on the road."

Teacher: "Young."

Student: "Old."

Teacher: "Stand."

Student: "Lie down"

Teacher: "There is a young man standing on the road."

Student: "There is an old man lying on the road."

Teacher: "I found a dollar."

Student: "I lost a dollar."

Teacher: "I found a dollar and gave it to the teacher."

Student: "I stole a teacher and lost a dollar."

Teacher: "No, you can't say that!" " "

Student: "Correct, you should say so!" " "

Teacher: "Wrong."

Student: "Correct."

Teacher: "that won't do, it's illegal!" " "

Student: "This is ok, this is a legal act!" " "

Teacher: "I was wrong."

Student: "We are right."

Teacher: "Listen to the teacher, what the teacher said is right!" " "

Student: "Listen to us, everything the teacher said is wrong!" " "

Teacher: "You are so stupid."

Student: "We are very smart."

Teacher: "Stop!"

Student: "Go on!"

Teacher: "You stop now! Stop it! "

Student: "Go on now! Say it! "

Teacher: "You stupid pigs, I said stop!" " "

Student: "We are all geniuses, we say go on!" " "

Teacher: "You listen to the teacher!" " "

Student: "The teacher listens to us!" " "

Teacher: "all students have to listen to the teacher!" " "

Student: "The teacher should listen to the students!" " "

Teacher: "now you stop practicing!" " "

Student: "Now let's continue to practice!" "

Teacher: "Are you endless?"

Student: "We finish what we started!" "

Teacher: "Then stop! Stupid pig! "

Student: "Then we should continue! Genius! "

..... Then the teacher lay on the ground and vomited blood! !

Three. The geography teacher asked the students, where does this river go?

A student suddenly stood up and sang: The river flows eastward.

The teacher ignored him and then said, how many stars are there in the sky?

That classmate sang again: the stars in the sky can participate in Beidou.

The teacher is short of breath: get out!

Student: Just leave.

The teacher said helplessly, are you sick?

Student: You have everything I have!

Teacher: Try again. .....

Student: shout when you see an uneven road!

Teacher: Do you believe I hit you?

Student: Do it when you should. ...

The teacher was angry: I told you to drop out of school!

Student: Rush into Kyushu!

Four. One day, the teacher wanted to see if there was any problem with a student's IQ in class, so he asked him, "There are ten birds in the tree. I shot one. How many are left? "

He asked, "Is it silent pistol or some other silent gun?"

"No."

"How loud is the gunshot?"

"80- 100 decibel."

"Does that mean that your ears hurt when you shake them?"

"yes."

"Is it illegal to shoot birds in this city?"

"No offense."

"Are you sure that bird was really killed?"

"Of course." I'm getting impatient. Would you please tell me how much is left?

"OK, are there any deaf birds in the tree?"

"No."

"What's wrong with being in a cage?"

"No."

"Are there any other trees nearby? Are there any other birds in the tree? "

"No."

"Are there any disabled or hungry flightless birds?"

"No."

"Is it a bird in a pregnant belly?"

"Not really."

"Bird catcher eyes have flowers? Guaranteed ten? "

"No flowers, just ten." My forehead was covered with sweat. When the bell rang, he kept asking.

"Is there anyone who is stupid and not afraid of death?"

"Everyone is afraid of death."

"Will you kill two with one shot?"

"No."

"Are all birds free to move?"

"Absolutely."

"If your answer is true," the student said confidently, "if the killed bird hangs on the tree and doesn't fall, there is only one left. If it falls, there will be none left. "

The teacher fainted immediately.

Five. 1, title: The original child wrote: It turns out that he is my father. Teacher's comment: Mom cares.

2. Make sentences as usual. Tree, Tree) I wrote jiaozi (kind) for you. I ate you. Teacher's comment: It's so cute ~ ~

3. theme:. . One side . . One side . . The child wrote: He undressed while putting on pants. Teacher's comment: Does he want to take it off or wear it ~ ~

4, topic: textbooks, children write: class is boring. Teacher's comment: concentrate in class.

5. Title: Popular. Children write: I like bananas very much. Teacher's comment: Be careful not to choke.

6. Topic: Once upon a time, children wrote: Xiaoming came in through the front door.

7. Topic: Naive, children write: It's really hot today. Teacher's comment: You are so naive ~ ~

8. Title: Ten points. The child wrote: I got a ten today. Teacher's comment: I'll tell your parents ~ ~

9. Title: Among them, the children wrote: My left foot was injured. Teacher's comment: Are you a centipede? ~~

10, title: 1. . . Just ... . . . Children write: a doll 100 yuan. Teacher's comment: The teacher laughed to death.

1 1, title: Look, children write: What are you looking at! Never seen it!

12. Make sentences as usual. Example: You (singing) and I (dancing). The child wrote: How are you? My teacher commented: Are you writing an English translation?

13, or make a sentence: others praise me (), in fact, I () children write: others praise me (very handsome), in fact, I (wear a mask). Teacher's comment: What mask is so easy to use?

14, title: OK. . . Good again. . The child wrote: Mom's legs are so thin and thick. . . Teacher's comment: Is it thin or thick?

15, topic: After a while, the children wrote: After work, my father came back one after another. Teacher's comment: How many dads do you have?

16, topic: first ... then ... Example: eat first, then take a bath. Children write: goodbye, sir!

17, topic: Tianya Haijiao, children write: My sister ran to Tianya Haijiao. Teacher's comment: Your sister can really run ~ ~

18, Title: All along, children wrote: I drew a straight line. Teacher's comment:. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

19, topic: Right away, children write: I am riding a horse. Teacher's comment: Come to the teacher right away!

20. Title: My skin is very rough. The child wrote: on the night of the power outage, it was dark everywhere, and I was scared and raw! Teacher's comment: See this sentence. . . The teacher appreciates you very much

2 1, topic: prosperity-metaphor for beautiful growth. The child wrote: My brother is thriving. Teacher's comment: Son, is your brother a vegetable? . . There are even more blind ... Children write: Prosperous and glorious confession. Teacher's comment: Don't watch too many soap operas ~ ~

22. Title: Thank you. . . . Because. . . . . . The child wrote: I want to thank my mother because she helps me with my homework every day. . . . . . Teacher's comment: Your homework was written by your mother! ! ! ! ! ! !

23. Topic: Sadness, the child wrote: There is a ditch in front of my house, which is very sad. Teacher's comment: The teacher is even sadder. . . . . .

24. Topic: If, children write: If the juice tastes bad, don't drink it. Teacher's comment: Orz. . . . .

25, topic: simple, children write: the cake is crisp and delicious. . . . . . . . . . =。 =

26. Topic: Genius, children write: I take a bath every three days. Teacher's comment: I have to wash it every day to be clean ~ ~

27. Title: One … Then … Children write: As soon as I walk out of the gate, there is a convenience store opposite. Teacher's comment: Don't make random sentences. . .

28。 Title: Edge. . . Edge. . . The child wrote: there is someone on the left and someone on the right.

29. Topic: Very, children write: I don't know what very means. Teacher's comment: I don't know what to ask. . . .

30. Title: Because. . . So ... . The child wrote: I was born in this world because of my parents. Teacher's comment: Deduct 5 points. . . .

3 1, Title: Here we go again. . . . . Here we go again. . . . . Children write: My mother is short, tall, thin and fat. Teacher's comment: Your mother. . . . . . Is it a monster?

32. Topic: Sure enough, the children said: I ate fruit yesterday, and then drank cold water ... Teacher, I haven't finished yet. Sure enough, I have diarrhea at night! Teacher: .........

33. Topic: Divide it, children: A big fool can't tell right from wrong.

34. Purpose: Delicious, Child: Farting is delicious ... Teacher: ...

35. topic: besides, children: a train passes by, besides, the teacher: ...

The reason for not doing it.

Six. One day, I had two political lessons in succession. No one cleans the blackboard after the first class. The political teacher saw it in the second class and asked angrily, "Why don't the students on duty clean the blackboard?" At this time, a very confident voice said, "whoever pollutes will be treated!" " "The whole class laughed.

So many, there must be something funny.