A joke about the philosophy of life.

Philosophy of life, which can also refer to all life values. Its function is to let people know the fundamental principle and truth of life in the universe and play a guiding role in people's lives. The following is a joke about the philosophy of life that I brought to you. I hope it helps you.

Too witty.

A buddy sent a small Weibo: "Girls with big breasts are idiots, because the peripheral nerve is broken, so they are all choked to death." Then he used a big Weibo to pay attention to all the girls who scolded him in the comments, and blacked out all the girls who praised him in the comments. ...

As for locking me up?

A thief was caught by the patrol for stealing fruit and wanted to lock him up. The thief said confidently, "I just stole 20 kilograms of mangosteen." As for being locked up? " The patrol team said unhurriedly, "once, a monkey stole a peach and was locked up for 500 years."

Radish and vegetables have their own tastes.

Men chase after goddesses, women chase after male gods, false mothers chase after female men, girls chase after little loli, and shemale chases after eunuchs.

The fundamental difference between man and monkey.

"Now, please look at the card in my hand. There is a picture of a monkey and a man on it. My first question is, can you explain the fundamental difference between humans and monkeys in one sentence-please answer. " Monkeys have hair all over their bodies, but people only have hair in a few places. ""Correct answer, score. Next, I ask the second question, or this card. Is this monkey and this person thick-skinned, or is this person thick-skinned? Please answer "people are thick-skinned." "Wrong answer-deduct points." "That's right. You are so thick-skinned. Monkeys' faces are always red, while people are hardly red and obviously thicker than monkeys. "

If you can't eat grapes, say sour grapes.

The hungry fox saw a string of crystal clear grapes hanging on the grape rack, and his mouth watered. He wants to pick it and eat it, but he can't. After watching it for a while, he left helplessly. As he walked, he comforted himself and said, "This grape is not ripe yet. It must be sour. "

to gild the lily

A snake and a lizard were arguing about a painting. The lizard said, "This picture shows that I have legs." The snake said, "This photo is mine. Redundant efforts. "

A drunk meets a drunk.

A drunk stumbled out of the bar and walked to a newly dug grave. He lost his balance and fell. There was a pool of water in the grave, and he cried all night, "Help! When the bar was closing, another drunk passed by and heard the noise. He went to the open grave, looked down and said, "Fool, you kicked all the dirt off your body. Can you not be cold?"? "

Lengthened tofu

In a restaurant, a man pointed to a piece of tofu more than two meters long in the dish and shouted, "What ear are you?"! I ordered homemade tofu! " When the chef heard this, he wondered, "Isn't it long enough ..."

The shorter the better.

Teacher: "Please make sentences with" you "and" you ". The shorter the sentence, the better! " Xiao Ming: "Double!" Teacher: "That makes sense. I can't find a reason to let you go! " "

Mysterious man

It is said that the fat man's Tintin is small and the big nose's Tintin is big. Think of Bajie, how fascinating!

Square dance aunt surprised the county government

At the entrance of the yamen, an old woman waved a hammer and beat gongs and drums. Bao Zheng came out and asked, "What grievances do you have?" The old woman said, "If there is no injustice, I will make a rhythm and the sisters will dance here."

New laundry law for little dragon girl

Yang Guo and Little Dragon Girl lived happily together after they returned to the mountain. One morning, Yang Guo got up and found her clothes clean. She asked the little dragon girl if she had washed it. The little dragon girl smiled shyly and said that this time she used a new formula and didn't hurt her hand. After a long time, Yang Guo asked: Where is my sculpture?

Pick a dog!

Pigs and dogs are friends. One day, the pig complained to the dog that the weather was terrible! Hot as a dog! The dog was surprised: you are a dead pig! You are not afraid of boiling water. Are you afraid of heat?

Stick out your tongue and breathe quickly.

I just said to my colleague, "You can't breathe quickly with your tongue out." Then he tried it and seemed to understand something. Stop it and chase me for ten minutes.

An insatiable face

I tugged at my wife's chin and stared at her cheek: "I can't get tired of seeing your face." The wife is a little shy: "Bah, why?" "Haven't you heard of it? Fat but not greasy. "

It is really a master.

Zhang Zetian asked the Zen master: I didn't want to be a goddess, nor did I think I was a goddess. I don't want to speculate. I don't want to be dyed. How can I live an honest and clean life? I heard that Master Bi took out a bag and asked Zetian to put the garbage in the house, which was quickly filled. Then Master Bi took another bag, and Sawada suddenly realized: You mean you can tolerate these gossips as long as you are broad-minded? The Zen master shook his head, pointed to the bag and said, pretend, you keep pretending.

dark cuisine

A buddy just cried like me about the dark food he took on a big adventure at night. "What is the dish?" "Coke chicken wings." "This is not good? How bad can it be? " "Fanta pig's trotters, bean cabbage, Gowasu braised pork, Sprite preserved eggs."

Girl, do you want an umbrella?

It was raining harder and harder, and the girl hid under the eaves and watched the heavy rain helplessly. I looked at the umbrella in my hand and said to myself, "Come on, girl, do you want an umbrella?" The girl gave me a grateful look: "Thank you." I smiled and shook my head: "Girl, you're welcome. Ten dollars each. "

order a takeaway

Hello, is this KFC takeaway? I want two chicken wings and a hamburger. Then bring more paper! The address is pit 3, toilet, 50 meters from Haidian Street. ...

Enter lyf

One day, while watching Space Dynamics, I read an article saying: Enter lyf in the input method, depending on whether you enter Liu Yifei or Liu Yufeng. I hit it conveniently, and as a result, come on. I ......

Bargain without buying clothes

One day I went shopping and saw a dress. I said, boss, how much is this dress? Boss: 200. I said, do you want to sell it for 300? Boss: sell! Why not sell it ... I said, sell it, I won't buy it anyway. ...

Look at the thoughts of Thai women

There are two kinds of activities in my heart when I go to Thailand to meet women. 1 Such an ugly woman can't be a shemale! This woman is too beautiful to be a shemale!

Pupils take buses.

On the bus today, the driver scolded a primary school student so hard. After driving for eight years, I have seen ten cents, ten cents and game coins. What do you mean by throwing two calcium tablets?

The baby's laughter

The baby's laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds in the world. Unless it's 3: 00 in the morning, you're alone at home, and you haven't given birth.

What do you like best about me?

Wife: "What part of me do you like best?" Husband: "the back of the head." Wife: "Why?" Husband: "Because that means you're gone.

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