Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Wonderful and funny copy

Wonderful and funny copy

1. A Taoist who doesn't want to be an abbot is not a good Taoist!

2. Wife: My husband takes money, and I want to go shopping with Xiaoli. Me: How about 20? Wife: OK. I took out my wallet and took out twenty dollars. I silently handed it to my wife.

No matter how bad my grades are, they are all my own, and I don't dislike them!

4. Someone wore two pairs of autumn trousers and froze to death; Some people wear stockings, but they are still alive

In fact, Tang Priest is also very sexy. She is called a benefactor when she meets people with different looks, and a bodhisattva when she meets people with good looks.

6. A diaosi went up the mountain to find a master and said, "Master, I have seen through the world of mortals. Please help me shave. " Master: "You come to see me for a haircut every month. How much can it cost to go out for a haircut? "

7. I can't believe that the group of fat cells I eat and drink all day, when I was frozen into a dog in the cold wind, they pretended not to understand, and they didn't want to burn themselves to warm me. Their hearts are so cold that they have raised a group of baiwenhang.

8. "What pants will make you look young?" "I don't think there is anything more youthful than wearing diapers."

9. When I am unhappy, my dad will give me money to go shopping, naively thinking that money will make me happy again! For this superficial behavior, I just want to say that dad knows me best!

10. I thought the spark between us was love. Unexpectedly, it is autumn trousers.

1 1. The whole world smells of love, and I am the only one who smells of single dog.

12. Xiao Ming always calls for at least an hour. Dad always blames Xiaoming for wasting phone bills. This time Xiao Ming hung up after calling for half an hour. Dad is very happy: "Do you know the phone bill?" Xiao Ming: "No, wrong number!" " "

13. Wife: "Husband, I want to buy clothes." Husband: "Are you obedient? Don't listen or buy. " Wife: "I am obedient." Husband: "Be good and obedient, we won't buy it!" " "

14. Since I can play QQ, I have found that my pinyin is getting better and better, but reading has no such effect.

15. The best way to remember a person is to borrow money from him and not pay it back.

16. I find that ugly people have priority in speaking, because we often hear people say "my ugly words come first".

17. I thought I was also a headmaster. I wanted to have a look in the world of scum. As a result, I didn't expect that I would never come back.

18. God closed the window of mathematics for me, took the door of English by the way, blocked the sewer of Zongzhi, and even blocked the dog hole of Chinese for me.

19. On the way to SB, I always mistake the accelerator for a brake and accidentally rush ahead.

20. Ten years of life and death, I don't think about it, I will never forget it, I don't wear long pants, and I feel sad everywhere.

2 1. Xueba's performance, the goddess' selfie, the local tyrant's money, the model's figure, and Laozi's sunshine.

22. "Do you have a cold?" "Well, is my voice a little hoarse?" "No, the first time I saw you smoking, one nostril didn't smoke."

23. Every time I am late for my homework, there are always two little people in my mind. One said forget it, stop writing, and the other said yes.

24. When I handed a 5 million lottery ticket to the staff of the lottery center, everyone immediately cast envious eyes! I took out the second one, still 5 million. Everyone was shocked! When I took out the third picture, the air stopped flowing! When I was about to take out the fourth book, my wife woke me up and said discontentedly, "I didn't sleep honestly and tore up the books piece by piece."

25. Me Before You, my world is black and white. After knowing you, wow, it's all black.

What makes me happy when waiting in line is not that there are fewer and fewer people in front, but that there are more and more people behind.

27. "How to describe a woman with a lot of bags?" "You are surrounded!"

28. If I go to No Country for Old Men one day, please throw me to Dubai to pick up garbage.

29. I hope my RMB can love each other and give birth to many small RMB.

30. Spread soy sauce all over the world and make others jealous!

3 1. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

32. I understand all the reasons, but I can't help turning around when I hear others calling for beauty.

33. Every time I walk alone at night, I'm so scared. It's so dark and I'm so beautiful. I'm afraid others can't see me.

34. Once upon a time, there was a fat man who heard that yoga could lose weight and went to practice yoga. Many things happen. Two months later, he became a soft fat man.

35. If Chinese, math, English, physics, thinking, history, geography and politics teachers come into the classroom at the same time, what will you think of? "Eight-Nation Alliance's war of aggression against China. "

36. If you are unhappy, go and study. Then you will find that everything is happy! Happy daze! Have fun playing games! Hand in hand! Happy everyone!

37. I planted a bunch of girlfriends in Houshan last year. In autumn, the mountains are full of green hats!

38. If your ex-boyfriend and current boyfriend fell into the river at the same time, would you be my girlfriend?

39. I am actually an angel. The reason why I stay on the earth is because of my weight.

40. What is the theme of the exam composition? I hand in my paper, and the composition is only five words. This is courage!

4 1. I killed five mosquitoes, and four of them had their period.

42. A woman with a melon face sleeps in a beauty sleep, while a woman with a steamed bun face can only sleep in a cage.

43. Forget everything you learned in school, and the rest is quality.

44. My stupidity is unparalleled, my crazy world is the first, and people like me are one in a million.

45. I worked hard when I was young, and I work hard now.

46. Some people say that it will be easier to remember English words by changing them into QQ passwords. I tried, but I woke up and couldn't get on QQ.

47. It is said that women are as fickle as the weather, and men are like people who broadcast the weather-unreliable.

48. I was stopped by "Girl, I haven't given money yet" after buying the food, stopped by "Girl, I haven't given money yet" after paying the money, and stopped by "Girl, I didn't take the food" when I found the money.

It is said that children who don't want to start school are good children, which proves that they have no object at school.

50. I hope that the school will implement OPPOR9 system, with five minutes in class and two hours after class.

5 1. I decided to cut my hair, and my neck hurts when I throw my bangs.

Although my money was not blown away by the strong wind, it seems that it was blown away by the strong wind.

53. I have all kinds of spicy strips. If you want to be friends with me, it's not too late.

54. Mirrors are installed in the school stairs, telling us that ugly people should read more books.

Don't ask me how I did in the exam, I can only say "burnt".

56. "Hey, why are you alone on Singles Day again?" "I'm afraid that half a person will scare you."

I heard that money is the greatest pain of mankind, so let me bear the pain!

58. "Why are you so fat!" "Because I am timid!" "What does that matter?" "I'm always scared!"

59. The test is not the result, but the speed of China's action.

60. Two years after graduation, I feel that the whole world is busy getting engaged, getting a license and getting married, and I am the only one who is busy following the crowd.