Who can tell a funny joke?

1. A person's life is like taking a shit. Sometimes you have worked hard, and all you can come up with is a fart.

2. When I was a child, my family was poor and I had no money to buy a bike. I had to take a taxi to school every day. When I was in junior high school, because my grades were too outstanding, the school leaders made me study for two more years. After graduating from junior high school, the high school principal thought I had a future and overcharged me by 30 thousand. In the third year of senior high school, the class teacher thought I had the ability to survive independently and dropped out of school.

3. Advertisement of a flower shop: Today, the price of roses in our shop is the lowest. You can even buy some roses for your wife.

The only difference between Superman and me is that I wear underwear underneath!

5. Effect of contraception: Will you forgive me if I don't succeed?

6. I am not a casual person! But whatever, it is not a person!

7. Even though you have teeth! Don't feel sorry for yourself, just have teeth! You can dig sweet potatoes, cover your chin when it rains, separate the tea residue when you drink tea, and use it as a knife and fork when you have a picnic. Do you think you are the best?

8. The family is harmonious, the life is Kangxi, the personality is Yongzheng, the career is prosperous, everything is celebrated, the future is bright, the wealth is Xianfeng, and both inside and outside are in charge, Qian Qiu Guangxu, make public!

9. I am an onion, standing in the wind and rain, who dares to touch me with soy sauce, X his ancestors! Walk through the south ~ break through the north ~ drink water behind the toilet, run over my leg on the train track and kiss a fool. I've climbed mountains and fought tigers ~ I've practiced martial arts in Shaolin Temple. I often treat Clinton as 250 yuan and feed Sakyamuni to the tiger! There was a dance on the pyramid, and Jesus beat drums on his head.

10. I am in the Jianghu, but there is no legend about me in the Jianghu!

1 1. About thong: I used to take off my underwear to look at my ass; Now, take out your ass and look at your underwear. ...

12. Take other people's road and let others have no way out! Do you want to challenge your card skills? Do you want to make money while playing?

13. I am like a fly lying on the glass, with a bright future, but I can't find a way out.

14. Huns are down and out in rivers and lakes, and they can't tell the difference between east, west, north and south. Hit the corner and count the stars on the ground!

15. I heard that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. In retrospect, I actually streaked 19 years too many chefs!

16. The brothers in the dormitory decided to punish their roommates as follows: let them hold telephone poles covered with advertisements of old Chinese medicine and cry with tears: My illness has finally been saved!

17. It's a manhole plug and a manhole socket!

18. Go through the ladies' room three times and don't go in!

19. Rats never waste time at night, but we humans waste one-third of our time every day.

20. "What is an optimist?" "This ... is like a teapot, my ass is burning red, and I am in the mood to whistle!"

2 1. I'd rather believe in ghosts than men's broken mouths!

22. The most "damaging" sentence now is: "You are really Chen Shui-bian."

No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry!

24. Men can live and sows can climb trees.

25. When the university came down from me, she held her pants and said, You can go, but your youth must stay. At this moment, I suddenly realized that it was not that I went to college, but that college fucked me!

26. His works are immortal for five hundred years, and his people are immortal for one thousand years. 1000 years later, everything will rot at the end of the world.

27. I was challenged to say, bring it on. I didn't answer, I just rushed over and then Monday morning quarterback knocked him down.

28. You will know what it is when you grow up. When I grow up, I deliberately say I don't know.

29. Work should be "promoted by food" rather than "waiting for food". This is the only way to get through.

30. It is wise men and aesthetes who know people behind their backs, and treacherous people who know people behind their backs.

3 1, the timid hypocrite is gray; The bold hypocrite described black as gray. The most successful way to reverse black and white is not to reverse black and white, but to lose black and white.

32. An iron pestle can be ground into a needle, and a wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. The material is wrong, and it's no use trying again.

What is terrible about stupid people is not that they are stupid, but that they are smart. 、

34, forget to zip up after urinating, you are middle-aged; You forgot to zip up after you got on the small ship. You are an old man.

35. Bathing is a blessing to the ass and a pain to the head; Watching movies is a blessing on the head and a pain on the ass, but listening to you is a pain on the head and a pain on the ass.

36. Since ancient times, there have been no charming mothers on the Internet. There are several pairs of mandarin ducks and perverted pheasants.

37. How to keep fit? Gluttony.

38. The beauty of learning lies in confusing people; The beauty of poetry lies in inciting men and women to cheat; The beauty of a woman lies in being stupid without regrets; The beauty of a man is that he speaks during the day.

39.look at you! Look at the back, there are thousands of troops; Turn around and scare away millions of heroes.

40. Poke your eyes, pull out your hair, splash a face of sulfuric acid, knock out your teeth, cut off your tongue, and beat people with sticks, including MM.

4 1. If the answer was a virtue, I would have become a saint.

42. I would rather let China have no virgins than Japanese virgins.

43. What's the use of being handsome? Can I swipe my card with my face at the bank?

You will never attract wolves by singing, really-you will only scare them away.

45. If you hate a man, turn his woman into Chris Lee, so that he can't enjoy the upper body happiness. If you beat a woman, beat her man into Chris Lee, so that she can't enjoy the happiness of the lower body.

46. His knife is cold, his sword is cold, his heart is cold and his blood is cold. Shit, isn't this man dead?

47. I really don't want to do it anymore-because the pestle has been ground into an embroidery needle.

48, the east wind blows, the drums beat, the beauty is drunk, I hope you will return, the good news will fly, and the strong man will return.

49. My hand is broken, my foot is broken and my head is rotten.

50. Chatting is valuable and the internet fee is higher. If you are sleeping, you can throw them both.

5 1, don't chat online, be angry but not immortal.

52. This man is dead and has something to burn.

53. Tianma Meteor Boxing-Lushan Ascending to Heaven-Phoenix Wings Tian Xiang-Diamond Stardust-Nebula Chain-Please leave a message if you are still alive.

54. The master is organizing a special meeting to study whether to stew Bai Gujing or braise in soy sauce.

55. Tear in the wind and pee on your back.

56. People are old and have nothing to do.

57. Mother teaches children to urinate, one zipper, two out, three back, four to urinate, five to push forward, six to put back and seven zippers. The little boy has grown up! One day, her mother heard him shout "three, five; Three, five ".

58. Life can't be like cooking. All the ingredients are ready before cooking.

59. Fear makes you a prisoner. I hope to set you free.

60. It is women's love for shopping malls that makes them more and more exciting. Women are the saviors of shopping malls, and the biggest word should be left at the entrance of every shopping mall: thank you, woman.

6 1, bow your head with courage, raise your head with spirit.

62, not afraid of being used, I am afraid that you are useless.

63. Good temper is the best clothes a person can wear in social activities.

Sometimes, we are grateful for the kindness of others, but turn a blind eye to the kindness of our loved ones for a lifetime.

65. People who only know justice are bound to be broken; Only a soft-hearted person will eventually be a coward.

Although I am not beautiful, I will treat you as a bandit, although I am not fat, I will treat you as a wooden stick.

I don't care if you have money, I only care if you have a future.

68. Beautiful women are no different from ordinary people when they are constipated. Although the text is a little damaged, it is also the voice of others.

69. The perfect figure is also a teasing material in the eyes of people who don't love her.

70. Small trees can't be used without pruning, and children can't make things.

7 1, accumulated over time, may lead to an outbreak; And if it breaks out for a long time, it may lead to collapse.

72. Be respectful to superiors, bossing around subordinates, and hiding from peers.

73. No matter how difficult it is, consider yourself 250. No matter how difficult it is, think of yourself as a two-faced person.

74. You said you were behind a head, wearing a forward hat.

75. The bombarded head will also sort out lightning strikes.

76. I can't talk I stutter when I see a lot of people, like a sheep shitting. Please forgive me if it's not to your taste.

77. Learn astronomy, geography, pediatrics, yin and yang, gossip, planning and decision-making thousands of miles away.

78. Before the skull, after Xuanwu, Zuo Qinglong, right white tiger.

79. Interpretation is cover-up, and cover-up is making up stories. 、

80. Look at the mountains and green waters from a distance, and look at the stupid fracturing nozzle from a distance.

8 1, unconsciously time flies by, and life often lives in regret.

82. Candles drain the wick every night. If I become the soil of spring, I will be more colorful.

83. Today I am not a British dog fighter, and tomorrow I will become a gossip refugee.

84. It's really true that you don't practice vacation.

85. Know how to use misjudged cases to prove your innocence of pornography.

86, men are not drunk, how can women have tips; How can a man have a chance if a woman is not drunk? Women and men are not drunk, and no one sleeps in the hotel.

87. Very male chauvinism. "Big" is tailored to one of my organs.

88. Businessmen don't hate their country, and prostitutes don't know about extramarital affairs.

89. In fact, many people say that I look like Tony Leung Chiu Wai, but I don't want to admit it, because I think it is necessary to be a distinctive person. I still feel more like Kimura Takuya.

90. I am a monk, and my task is to give love to all beings.

9 1, you took my anchor, and the bottom of the sea was out of balance, so we had to emigrate ashore.

92. When I reached the top of the mountain, I found that the wrong road and the right road were only a few steps away.

93. Can I catch my breath without steaming steamed bread?

94. I eat more salt than you eat rice? That's your mouth weight; I have crossed more bridges than you have. That's your laziness.

95, endure a calm, can't take a step back.

96. I'm fine. Thirteen Pacific Insurance Golden Bell Hoods, practicing ass.

97. Since ancient times, no one has died, and you don't need paper to shit.

98. This will make you comfortable. Take off your pants that you often pull.

99. Optimists see opportunities in disasters, while pessimists see disasters in opportunities.

100, angry is to punish yourself with other people's mistakes.

Still trying to play a joke on me.