True relief is not to give up life, but to let go of obsessions

At noon on September 4, 2018, a 21-year-old girl from Hunan said "thank you" to the tourists who were watching and comforting her on the cliff of Mount Emei in Sichuan, and then looked up to the sky. My own young life of 21 years old. After her death, her suicide note was exposed. In her last words to the world, she sadly wrote:

"I have a disease called depression.

I don’t know where it started. When it starts, I don’t know when it will end.

All I know is that my life is very tiring and painful!

Many people regard this disease as frailty and cannot think about it. What I want to say is: No!

I have never been a fragile person, just like people who don’t drink often can get liver cancer, there are not many incentives, it just happens.

For so long, it can be said that I have been living in a nightmare! No, more terrifying than a nightmare!

It’s like there is an invisible hand, bit by bit, pulling my soul away. Drag it out of my body. Then day by day, I drag it into the abyss.

Those emotions of sadness and despair appear inexplicably, but they keep lingering around me like maggots that eat away my bones. I suffered from insomnia one night after another, and I was always on the edge of life and death. One voice said: Die, you will be relieved. The other voice said: You can't be so selfish. , irresponsible. So, I live in this kind of tearing every day, until today.

Every time I see a car, I just want to hit it regardless, and when I get the knife, I want to chop myself. I feel like vomiting when I'm in a crowd.

Because of my responsibility, I can only use my limited will to fight my body's instincts and pretend to be calm and calm in front of everyone. I couldn't help but say that I was suffering from depression, which was a joke.

I tried my best to act like a so-called normal person. As expected, acting is an innate talent, and I can do it well. Like, everyone was well hidden.

It’s not that I didn’t talk about it, it’s not that I didn’t try to save myself, and it’s not that I didn’t try to ask for help. However, it was either treated as a joke or not. I just feel like I can't think about it.

Maybe it would be better to change the environment? Maybe it would be better to go bungee jumping.

I'll just change the place. , I have traveled, I have done bungee jumping, but then, is there any other way? Should I give up?

I try again and again. Another search. Changing cities, changing jobs, finding things for myself to do. Running, traveling, recruiting. I’m really tired of lying to myself day after day.

The results of this military inspection told me that it was useless. Why did I do these futile things? I was like a walking zombie every day. Finally, I couldn't hold on anymore.

Finally, I collapsed.

If you are lucky enough to read these words, Liu Yongchen, I want to tell you that you have successfully driven me to death step by step, which feels very fulfilling, right? I hope you live a long life. I hope you never dream about me when you wake up at midnight.

Grandma, I am unfilial to let you, at such an advanced age, once again have a white-haired person give a black-haired person. sorry! Please blame me, hate me,

It is best to forget me immediately, but just don’t be sad for me, I am not worth it.

I really want to hear you hum a lullaby from my childhood again, but unfortunately I don’t have the chance. Grandma, please take good care of yourself. There was no pain at all when I left, really.

Mom, I'm sorry to disappoint you, give birth to me and support me. If you die, you will have to bear tens of thousands of yuan in tuition loans. Don't come to me. Find a good man and live the rest of your life with him. You are so young and so beautiful, you deserve a better life.

I don’t want to be a drag on you. Even if I continue to live and can’t work and live normally, what’s the use? It is an unbearable burden for you and the entire family.

You will always live in the shadow of my loss of control, without any peace.

Don’t think that it will be cured just because it is a disease. You don’t know how much money you have to waste waiting for a vague result.

I am very clear about my status.

I just want to stop more serious incidents from happening before they get out of control.

I don’t want you to worry anymore. Forgive me and take care of yourself!

Li Yifeng is already a young man, I believe he can take on the responsibility. He will definitely make you proud, unlike me.

Don’t come to me, just let me be buried here. The mountains and clear waters here are beautiful, and I will find peace here. Don't be sad, don't blame yourself, I don't want a funeral, just pretend nothing happened.

I don’t want to go through those farces, so I give the money to Li Yifeng to keep for studying. You must promise me!

In the last few days when I made my decision, it was a relaxing day that I had not experienced in a long time. Jia Yiwen, Liang, Huiling, Haohao, Shuanni, Xiaohu, and I, thank you for your company. I feel happy and relaxed from the bottom of my heart. It was you who made me feel warm at the end of my life.

Gee, I'm sorry for causing you to endure such psychological pressure for so long. I can’t do what I promised you, so you don’t have to wait for me to come back.

Juan'er, I can't attend your wedding, and I can't send you any gifts. I believe you will be very happy!

To all those who love me and those I love, you must be well. Don't be sad, don't cry, time is the most ruthless weapon, one day I will disappear from your memory without a trace. So, don’t pay too much attention to this matter, I wish you all the best!

I hope everyone can pay more attention to the group of people suffering from depression in the future. I hope this world will have more kindness and beauty and less harm.

The scenery of Sheshen Cliff is really good, with the sea of ??clouds surging, it is so beautiful, like a fairyland. Buried here, I have no regrets.

The Buddhist scriptures say: People who commit suicide cannot enter reincarnation. It’s good. You don’t have to feel the pain and helplessness anymore, and you don’t have to be alone anymore!

Dad, I’m here to find you!

Everyone in this world, this is the end of my journey in this life. Goodbye!

Li Yiling’s final work?

2018.9.4 in Mount Emei”

As soon as this news was released, it attracted great attention from all walks of life. This time, no one watched. The indifference and noise were mostly sympathy and regret, but no matter how much the people present comforted her, they still could not save her desperate and helpless heart. She had no complaints about her relatives and friends around her, only warm concern and deep feelings. She only felt guilty towards a person named Liu Yongchen. Maybe reality had given her too many blows, maybe she had suffered some injuries that she could never get over, or maybe she had been trying to save herself out of responsibility. , or perhaps she has been constantly seeking relief in order to survive, but in the end she still failed to get out of her depression, and chose to end her pain in this extreme way to free herself from depression.

, what exactly is it? How terrible is it? Why can’t so many seemingly strong hearts escape the curse of depression?

On May 14, 1985, Zeng starred in "The Legend of the Condor Heroes". 》The quirky Huang Rong, the famous Hong Kong actress Weng Meiling committed suicide at the age of 26 due to depression.

On April 1, 2003, Leslie Cheung lost control of her depression. He fell from the fitness center on the 24th floor of the Oriental Mandarin Hotel in Hong Kong and was rushed to Queen Mary Hospital. He died before being admitted to the hospital after being examined by doctors.

On October 31, 2009, he published "Love". Chen Lin, a popular female singer who became famous for her masterpieces such as "Just Love You", committed suicide by jumping off a building due to depression. This is how the former queen-level female singer ended her life at the age of 39.

July 20, 2017. On the same day, Linkin Park frontman Chester Bennington hanged himself in his home in Los Angeles, California, USA, due to depression. He was only 41 years old.

Depression, often referred to as a depressive character, is characterized by persistent low mood, decreased interest, loss of happiness, frequent self-blame and inferiority, and negative and world-weary thoughts. They often like to be alone, are more sentimental, and often hide in no-one's place to secretly feel sad. The so-called depression is mostly a pessimistic mood that cannot be overcome. People like to blame themselves for other people's problems and cannot find the happiness and meaning of life. It is an extreme way of seeking relief.

In recent years, with the improvement of the quality of life, what comes with modern people is not more happiness and joy, but countless inescapable pressures and things that no one can understand. A deeper loneliness.

Nowadays, patients with depression in our country are showing a significant growth trend. According to statistics, the number of patients with depression in China has exceeded 26 million, and 10-15 of them may eventually choose to commit suicide. Depression The suicide rate of patients with the disease is 20 times higher than that of the general population. These data are shocking.

Most patients with depression cannot feel the warmth and joy of the world. This often comes from the numbness and ignorance of the people around them. People with depression can be found all over the world, in all walks of life, and often go unnoticed by those around them.

In recent years, there have been frequent tragedies in which families were broken up and people died due to depression. Most of them are a kind of extreme helplessness that is forced by reality and indifference with no way to retreat. Not being understood is the inducement, and the psychological pain The inability to heal the trauma is the trigger, while the indifference and violence of the surrounding environment are the straw that breaks the camel's back.

At about 20:00 on the evening of January 6, 2017, in Xiangtan, a high-end community, a 31-year-old mother took her two-year-old son "Timo" and several The one-month-old daughter "Eva" jumped from the 13th floor and committed suicide. All three people were killed. Before her death, she left a 10,000-word suicide note, describing the disaster caused by a tragic marriage with inconsistent views. Facing the incomprehension and harshness of her husband's family, and the cheating and indifference of her lover, she plunged herself into an abyss. , can never come out again.

I have understood the despair that people feel when depression comes. I have also seen people around me die of depression. Their emotions are never understood and cannot be aroused. Attention, shouting and wandering alone in the abyss of loneliness, that feeling seems to be a kind of bone-gnawing pain, tormenting people's fragile nerves all the time, and making the soul unable to rest. They need a way out, a way out. A painful way to survive. But how many people can find this road?

One autumn day in 2001, a second grade teacher in our school committed suicide by jumping off a building due to depression. He was an excellent and handsome teacher. No one knows what caused him to die. Go to this step. In the eyes of the world, he has a life that is enviable by most people. He has an excellent wife who is also a teacher, and a lively and lovely daughter. The two of them have an excellent reputation and are well-liked by everyone in school, but in the end he also Being unable to resist the depression leaves the loved ones with a lifetime of regret and pain.

In February 2008, a classmate in a friend's dormitory committed suicide by jumping off a building due to depression. That night, his mother invited him to a five-star hotel for dinner. After eating, he jumped from the 24th floor of the hotel and ended his life at the age of 24. He was born in a single-parent family and lived with his mother since he was a child. His mother was an executive in a company and was busy with her work. She usually neglected to care about him. His character was very closed and pessimistic. During his lifetime, he often said, "People don't want you." Living too long, for me, thirty is the limit." So, that night, he chose to jump next to his mother, becoming a pain that she could never ignore.

Death is often the final choice of the depressed. They leave in despair with deep love and pain for the world under the inability to escape their emotions.

However, death is only the end of the body, not the liberation and salvation of the soul. The judgment of life and value will not end with life and death. Only by letting go of our obsessions can our hearts belong to heaven. Facing the hardships life brings, we should kiss the pain of fate in the name of love, follow our hearts and move forward bravely to find the true utopia in our hearts.

Only by letting go of our obsessions and always holding on to the truest love and desire for life can we gain permanent peace of mind and true liberation in life.

The gap between heaven and earth in life is as sudden as a white horse passing by. In the face of pain, giving up is not relief, letting go is wise. In the face of life, we can only live up to our mission by cherishing it.