How can a person be indifferent and keep his desires hidden?

People who do not have a strong desire to express themselves often lack social communication skills. On the contrary, having a strong desire to express themselves will also affect a person's normal life. In life and work, some people like to show off their individuality. In fact, this is not a mistake.

You can say this, but in real life and work, this desire for expression often brings you a lot of embarrassment. As the saying goes: "When asking for food, you have to go to the right door." Otherwise, you won't even be able to get a bowl of rice. You have to find the right person to show off and express yourself; otherwise, you will make a joke at least, and you will be embarrassed at worst.

A college student was assigned to Mr. Chen’s office. As time went by, people enthusiastically called him "Little Niu". In fact, this "Little Niu" was not named Niu, just because he liked to brag. At first, everyone thought his words were reliable, so they often listened to him sit there and talk nonsense. However, as time went by, they no longer took his words seriously.

The biggest characteristic of this "calf" is that he likes to show off himself - he knows everything, no matter what you are talking about, he is good at it, even if he talks about it, he will never stop talking. Say that you are a complete expert. The most irritating thing is that he will specifically find some things he is good at to test you. If you don’t know how to do it, he will show you his solution. Therefore, many colleagues will complain: "You said you can do it yourself, and you still ask What?"

It must be difficult for this "calf" not to be annoying. After a while, no one wanted to talk to him anymore except for business matters. In this way, "Maverick" makes people feel quite pitiful. He sits there all day without saying a word, as if he owes someone a lot of debt, and he looks very depressed.

At this time, his colleagues couldn't bear to ignore him, so some people began to get close to him. Unexpectedly, he "came back to life" again - so now everyone avoids him when they see him. Things have reached this point, but "Maverick" himself still doesn't feel what his problem is.

Then again, there is nothing wrong with showing off. It mainly depends on what you are showing off and who you are showing it off to. Especially in front of experts, you must keep a low profile, otherwise you will lose not only your craftsmanship, but also your self-esteem. An ignorant person like "Maverick" only has himself in his heart. If he can sit down and think carefully: "In terms of work experience, these seniors must be higher than me; in terms of ability, I am still a novice." Maybe he will find himself. location.

But what is puzzling is that he has never thought about it like this. No matter who he is in front of, he is used to showing off himself. In the end, he became unpopular and his credibility was greatly reduced. Perhaps, this young man's original intention was not necessarily to show off, but maybe he just wanted to integrate into the team as quickly as possible. Unexpectedly, his way of speaking and doing things was not appropriate.

From many similar stories, it is not difficult to see that perhaps under the huge pressure of competition, people today are increasingly lacking the courage to say "I can't" and will make assumptions when they only have a partial understanding of everything. This reminds us of Chopin, a great piano poet. Chopin wrote almost no other music except for piano music. After he became famous, for a period of time, this became an excuse for people with ulterior motives to attack him. They said: "Who is a composer if he cannot escape the narrow scope of an instrument?" and attacked him for "poor creative ability" and so on. Chopin dismissed this and made a good-natured joke to the person who kept pestering him to write an opera: "Why can't you fly?" The man hesitated: "...because I can't." "Look, I No!" This famous music master dared to answer "I won't", without any falsehood of a "literary", but with the courage and honesty of an artist.

No gold is pure and no one is perfect. What's more, none of us are geniuses or all-rounders. If you know how to do it, you know how to do it, and if you don’t know how to do it, you must be brave enough to admit your shortcomings. After all, there are only a handful of all-rounders in the world.

The smartest thing to do is to maintain a humble attitude in front of others, even if you are an expert, and be sure not to sing too high a tone. In doing so, don't worry about covering up your incompetence, it will only increase the depth of your life and work. Only in this way can it be easier for people to think about you and pay attention to you.

To give a simple example, when you are interviewing for a job, if the examiner gives you 5 minutes to describe yourself, you must not think that this is the best opportunity to express your superiority. Most people will try to avoid the word "no" at this point. Practice has proven that the more a person likes to brag at this time, the greater the possibility of not being hired. Smart people know that the examiner does not care about your past at this time. He wants to discover your potential and ability to do the job from your words and deeds.

It is not difficult to see from these examples that the philosophy of life is to learn to be a low-key person. No matter who you are in front of, maintaining a low profile will benefit you a lot, while blindly singing a high profile - whether intentional or unintentional - will gradually make you a loner. Hidden skill from clumsiness, mix purity from turbidity

If you make no secret of your joys and anger, others will know what you are thinking at a glance. As long as a thoughtful person uses the same words, you may be able to make things happen. Speaking out the ins and outs of this, it is quite taboo whether in business situations or interpersonal interactions. This kind of person seems to be outspoken, but what is worse is that he lacks control over his emotional secrets and will leave the impression that he is "unreliable" to others.

A company pretended to recruit a manager, but its real purpose was to collect information about the operations of other companies under the guise of recruitment. Once, an applicant sat in front of the boss. The boss first briefly introduced the company's situation, and then went straight to the topic and asked the other person to talk about what he had done before and how he did it. What was his previous company? How it works. The applicant was very experienced and quickly saw through the boss's intentions. However, he did not express his true thoughts immediately, but continued to talk to the boss in a nonchalant manner.

Seeing that he could not get relevant information from the applicant, the boss proposed to give the applicant a one-month trial period, provided that he was allowed to draw up a detailed work plan. On the surface, the applicant happily agreed, but in his heart he was muttering: "What kind of trick are you playing again?"

Because the applicant concealed his emotions perfectly, the boss thought he was playing a trick. After transferring the applicant, the applicant applied for another company the next day and was successfully hired.

If this is an outspoken applicant, he is likely to reveal everything about his work situation and the previous operations of the company. On the surface, he is honest. In fact, the company is the last person who needs this kind of "unreliable service". But smart applicants quickly see the boss's intentions and are good at concealing themselves, giving the boss face and leaving with dignity.

In any situation, it is important to have this kind of concealment ability. For interpersonal masters, they can often cry when they need to cry and get angry when they want to. This kind of face-changing skill can be said to be superb. For ordinary people, if you can't do this, at least learn to hide your emotions when necessary, and be able to change from a crying or angry face to a smiling face at any time, and face the outside world with a smiling face, or learn to use your face to Express something you don't want to put into words.

Hayes, a famous speaker from Ohio, USA, was a fledgling and timid trainee salesman more than 30 years ago. Once, a seasoned salesman took him to a certain place to sell cash registers.

This salesman does not have the majestic appearance of a movie star. He is thin and has a hint of humor on his red face. When they walked into a small store, the store owner said gruffly: "I'm not interested in the cash register." After hearing this, Hayes felt very uncomfortable and thought, let's try other stores. Unexpectedly, the salesman not only was not surprised, but also sat down on a chair and giggled, which made the store owner at a loss. When the boss was about to ask further questions, the salesman stood up and said with a smile: "I'm sorry, I couldn't help laughing. You remind me of the owner of another store. He said like you that he was not interested, but then he said Became our loyal customer.

"

The store owner was a little confused: "Really? "

Hayes on the side felt a little more relaxed when he heard what the store owner said. But what he didn't expect was that at this time, the salesman became serious and spoke to the store owner in a tone of voice. It was like asking for a debt. After he showed the sample, he listed its advantages. Whenever the store owner said that he was not interested, he would always say something humorous. There were many people standing next to him, and Hayes was always worried about himself. Will he be laughed at or kicked out? Unexpectedly, the store owner's attitude quickly changed. He really wanted to find out whether the function of the cash register would be as good as the salesman said.

After a while, they moved a cash register into the store. At this time, the salesman explained its specific usage with an expert look and tone, and the whole process was relaxed and relaxed.

In the end, the store owner even admired the salesman. He not only looked at the salesman's face, but also took the initiative to hand over his business card, hoping to establish a long-term relationship with the salesman. Afterwards, Hayes could not figure out this salesman. How to "settle" the store owner. The salesman said calmly: "When dealing with these guys, you have to learn to completely conceal yourself. To be honest, when I heard his words "I'm... not interested", I felt helpless, but I didn't let him feel my thoughts..."

Some people say that doing sales work You have to be thick-skinned, but that’s not necessarily the case. If you are thick-skinned, if you are not famous for being thick-skinned, and if you are thick-skinned and cannot produce results, then it will only be embarrassing. Really smart salesmen are better at changing their faces. If I put it more accurately, they are good at changing faces. Cover yourself up.

In fact, no matter what he does in reality, everyone is "promoting" himself. The purpose of interacting with others is to make others recognize, accept and appreciate themselves as much as possible; One thing is to express yourself and prove yourself. In the meantime, if you are not good at hiding yourself, then you are likely to become an "emotional person" in the eyes of others. Such a person is honest and unreliable, whether in the workplace or in interpersonal relationships. You are not very popular. Hidden your strengths and weaknesses, and help others.

If you are a successful person in your career and a popular person in your relationships, then you will easily become the focus of people's jealousy. In addition, if you are a competitive person and are not good at concealing your strengths and weaknesses, you will suffer from dumbness sooner or later.

However, smart people are like actors. The key to pretending to be what they want is that they can touch it. Understand other people's temperaments and adapt to their preferences. The most important principle when using this method is to "pretend" at the appropriate time to relax others' guard against you.

Mr. Joseph Wepp of the Fidelphi Electric Company used a method that appealed to him, so that an old lady who refused him thousands of miles away was very happy to do a big business with him, and it was completed smoothly.

That day, Wepp knocked on the door of a seemingly wealthy farmhouse. At that time, the head of the household, Mrs. Blanken Brad, only opened the door a small crack. After being a salesman from the electrical company, Wepp slammed the door again and knocked for a long time. Although the door barely opened a small crack, before he could open the door, the old lady cursed rudely. .

After some investigation, Wepp came to the door again. When the door was opened a crack, he quickly said: "Mrs. Brad, I'm really sorry to bother you. My visit is not for the electrical company. , just want to buy some eggs from you. The old lady's attitude became gentler, and the door crack was opened wider. Wepp continued: "Your chickens look really good. Look at the color of their coats. These chickens must be famous breeds!" Can you sell me some eggs? "

The crack in the door became wider, and the old lady leaned forward and asked: "How do you know these chickens are famous breeds? "

Wepp knew that what he said was right, so he said more sincerely: "My family also raises this kind of chicken, but I have never raised chickens as good as yours." I haven't seen it before, and the chickens I raise only lay white eggs. Everyone in the neighborhood also says that your eggs are the best. Madam, you know you need good eggs to make a cake. Today my wife is making a cake, so I have no choice but to come to you.

”

The old lady became very happy and invited Wepp into her home. Wepp took advantage of this short time to look around the surrounding environment and found that there was a complete set of cheese equipment here, and concluded that the man The owner raised cows, so he continued: "Madam, I bet you are more profitable raising chickens than your husband is raising cows. "The old lady was even happier, because her husband had refused to admit it for a long time, and she always wanted to tell everyone the truth, but no one was interested.

Mrs. Brad immediately regarded Wepp as As a confidant, Wepp took the trouble to take him around the chicken coop. Wepp knew that he had caught the old lady's competitive mentality, so when visiting the chicken coop, he would ask some very low-level questions from time to time to highlight the old lady's competitiveness. Gradually, Wep not only learned the experience of raising chickens from the old lady, but also became a good friend with her. Later, the old lady also asked Wep about the benefits of using electricity, and Wep caught it. This opportunity was explained to her in detail. Two weeks later, Wepp received the old lady's application for electricity. Soon, more and more people applied for electricity in the old lady's location.

Wepp continued to do so. Instead of showing his intelligence in front of the old lady, he "asked" some questions in a low profile. As a result, the old lady's vanity was satisfied and she eventually became his important customer.

It can be seen that in order to win in career and competition, you can pretend to be a "fool" or hide your strengths and weaknesses. Similarly, under certain circumstances, you can openly admit your shortcomings and intentionally expose your weaknesses in certain aspects. It is a useful way to live in the world.

Insects have their own tricks to seek good luck and avoid evil, which is the color of the locust's body changes with the color of the environment. When encountering natural enemies, butterflies will disguise themselves as bamboo sticks and withered leaves, and some animals will feign death when in danger to confuse their enemies. In people's eyes, these methods are a little too unappreciative, but these seem to be very simple. However, this method can enable animal populations to survive and develop. There are also classic stories like this in human society.

In 1805, Napoleon pursued the Russian army and reached a critical decisive moment. At this time, Tsar Alexander saw that he was approaching. When the Guards and reinforcements arrived, they wanted to stop the retreat and fight the French army. Kutuzov persuaded him to continue retreating and wait for the Prussian army to join the anti-French war. At this time, Napoleon knew about the differences of opinion within the Russian army and was afraid of Kutuzov. Once the husband persuaded the tsar, he would lose his chance of fighting, so he pretended to be afraid of a decisive battle when Russian reinforcements arrived, stopped the pursuit, sent people to sue for peace, and was willing to accept some humiliating conditions. The tsar believed that the arrogant Napoleon would never do it unless he was desperate. He would take the initiative to seek peace, so he decided that it was time to return to defeat Napoleon. He did not listen to Kutuzov's advice and launched an attack on the French army. As a result, he got into the French army's trap and was beaten by the French army.

Therefore, occasionally "pretending to be stupid" in front of others can, to a certain extent, reduce the other person's hostility towards you. It is precisely because of this that smart people will always pretend to be confused at critical moments, or It is to make some low-level mistakes, so as to reduce other people's precautions and jealousy towards you, and allow yourself to take the initiative. Doing things depends on ability, but success depends on conduct.

Being successful depends on ability. There are many people who are capable but unable to achieve anything. We cannot say that these people have problems with their character, but because they tend to go to two extremes: first, they are too honest and inflexible; second, they are too shrewd and have too much sense of strategy. powerful.

Getting along with others honestly and courteously will make people feel useless. Not only will they not get the attention of others, but they are also often easy to be plotted by others.