Classic funny sentence: Can you twist your butt awkwardly when you walk? You keep bumping my head

1. Recently, a goddess came to the company and a colleague came to chat with her: "Sister, you look like the same person." "Who do you look like?" "You look like a person..."

2. Wife: I remember you said that I look like Meijia in the love apartment, right? Me: Very similar. Wife: Are you referring to appearance or personality? Me: IQ... Wife: Get lost!

3. One night when I sent the goddess home, she said it was too late and she would sleep with me, and It's not safe to drive at night. When I heard this, I immediately got angry. I've been driving for several years and am still afraid of it at night? I was so angry that I turned away and the chain of my car broke.

4. I went on a business trip with my beautiful colleague. During the day, I ran around all day to do business. In the evening, we ate local snacks together and visited the local night scene together. After returning to the hotel and just taking a shower, she sent a text message saying that her back was sore after a tiring day and asked me if I could go over and give her a squeeze on her back. I just shut down my phone. Those are all human beings. You are not the only one running around all day. Why should you let others serve you? Yidiandianqu.com

5. My wife asked me when I was lying in bed at night: I have been married for so many years Do you still love me? Me: Love. Wife: How much do you love me? Me: Very much! Wife: I love you very much. How much do you love me? Me: Very much, very much! Wife: I love you very much. How much do you love me? : Love, love, love, love very much! Wife: Love, love, love, love very much. How much do you love me? Me: ... Wife: If you can’t tell me, just sleep on the floor.

6. I was drunk and driving last night and was stopped by a traffic policeman who asked me to test my alcohol concentration. I had an idea and took out my lighter. I breathed a sigh of relief and repelled the traffic policeman with a fireball.

7. The biology teacher asked: What is the advantage of having two eyes? A strange person in the class blurted out: If one is blind, one will still have the other.

8. My daughter was playing with her husband, and it seemed that her husband won. I was lying on the bed watching, and I felt a hand grabbing my ankle. Then I heard my daughter say to her father: "Don't move, if you move again I will crush your wife to death." Damn it, this child couldn't have been hugged wrongly in the hospital.

9. My sister is two years older than me! When we were young, we often fought, and my sister was always beaten. I finally got over it, and my sister started to reason with me! She said I had grown up!

10. A: Why is your face swollen? B: Yesterday I went boating in the park and there was a bee. It flew into my face. A: Just drive him away! B: Before I had time...my dad beat him to death with a boat oar!

11. The boys and girls watching Anhui TV just now rushed forward, and there was a girl who rushed forward. The guest said he was here for his baby, and my baby is three years old! Then my mother said with disdain: Tsk, my baby is twenty! Me:...

12. Hear The child in the hospital bed opposite is eating. The 2-year-old niece said anxiously to her mother: Help me up quickly and let me see what she eats?

13. I went to play ball today and accidentally caught a buddy's penis while I was defending. Not only did he say nothing, he even smiled. After that, he stared at me affectionately, and after the fight between labor and management, he quickly ran away.

14. The Internet cafe stayed all night last night. When I went there, the Internet cafe was almost full. I slept for a while. When I woke up, it almost scared me to death. I was suddenly the only one left in the entire Internet cafe. I only found out after asking the network administrator lol renew.

15. One day, my classmate was late for class. The head teacher asked angrily: "Why are you late?" My classmate: "Because the room was too messy and I didn't tidy it up." The class teacher: "So you would rather not Do you have to clean up your room at home when you are in class?" Deskmate: "No, it was my mother who said there were too many things on my bed. She looked through them and couldn't find me, so she thought I had gone to school!"

16. In the morning, my wife said to her husband with a dark face and angrily: "You have to do it seven or eight times a night. Don't you know that I don't like to turn on the light? If you do this again tonight, go sleep on the sofa!" The husband said aggrievedly. : "I'll try my best. I took medicine today and I shouldn't have diarrhea anymore."

17. I parked my car downstairs in the community and saw a young woman coming across the street with a five or six-year-old child. As we walked forward, one sentence made me laugh out loud... The child said: "Mom, can you please twist your butt awkwardly when you walk? You keep hitting my head."

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18. Master: "I like to travel around and take pictures of beautiful things when I see them. This is also a way of practicing as a monk. "Police: "Is this the reason why you slapped a girl's thigh?"

19. "Girl, please have some strawberries, I just picked them today. "Okay, give me twenty yuan!" "Okay, oh, it's only three yuan short of twenty-five. How about a whole round, girl?" "Well, okay, sir!" "Ouch, hehe, it's two yuan short of thirty. Girl, how about a whole ride?" "Uh... ok!" "Hey, girl, can it be thirty-five yuan?" "Uncle, I'll take this car with you, sir." It’s all inclusive, how much does it cost? "Okay," the uncle happily began to weigh the strawberries. He raised his head and said, "Where is the person? Hey, hey, girl, don't leave." ”