Beautiful sentences about black humor

1. Extend a hand when others need help, and a foot when others get carried away.

It's very hot to make the matches in your hand burn longer.

Happiness is a luxury skin care product, which is given to people with rich souls for free.

I have a conscience, but I usually put it in the safe-the best son of warlords.

5, fever ... indoctrination ... Open the lid and take a bottle of Didi mellow. ....

6, some words are quite open-minded, and some words will be angry.

7. I survived the week when I had no money. My brothers admire me and call me: Bye!

8. Dear, who got through the second pulse of your appointment as governor and made you pout at me willfully?

9. Be kind to your body and don't let it go on strike. If he doesn't leave, so should you!

10, after dinner, I ate a banana to help digestion; Then I ate the second banana to help the first banana digest; Afraid that the second banana would stay to play, he sent another banana to supervise; After five minutes, I felt that one might not be enough and decided to send another one. Ten minutes later, my stomach felt churning. Are the four of them playing mahjong? Send undercover to spy … five minutes later, I coughed, which was undercover code: I was kidnapped …

1 1, an umbrella, a threesome, and I get wet!

12, Christmas Eve, remember to hang a fragrant sock on the bedside before going to bed. When I get up in the morning, there is an old man with a beard foaming at the mouth on the ground. ....

13, run, why run! Kuafu runs for his dream; Athletes run for honor; Antelopes run for survival; Even the donkey has to run to get a bundle of hay.

14, sometimes the night is very short, and it is dawn soon after swimming into a beautiful dream; Sometimes the night is long, with countless sheep and wolves behind ... tonight, it's so long!

15, winter came, and I buried myself under the covers.

16, some people are dead, he is still alive, some people are alive, but he plays dead!

17. Strong is strong. If it meets a wall, it will climb over it.

18, loneliness is counting money, he betrayed his freedom!

19, you can't just say what you think, just like I miss you now, but I won't tell anyone.

20. I look at you tenderly from the perspective of stars, and you look at me tenderly from the perspective of orangutans.

2 1, everything is fine recently, so I'm in a bad mood. Why are you in a bad mood? Because I think everything is fine!

22. Happiness didn't knock, so I went out to look for it!

23. Now the whole world is promoting and studying something as a bystander, but most of them just draw an obvious conclusion, but there is no way to change it. These so-called ways are also to let people control their behavior with their own actions. I want to say, if everyone can control their bad side, will the things in the article happen again? This kind of article is, for example, I am poor, how can I not be poor? After scientific research, I found that if I earn money, I can be rich. It's all nonsense.

24. Of course, there is one characteristic. Summarize all the characters, do you dare to be stupid?

25. The first domino has been knocked down. Whose turn is it next?

26. The heart of a villain attracts a villain, and the heart of a gentleman attracts a gentleman.

27. Innocence is the shadow of innocence. It was a mistake to meet it, a mistake to pieces.

28. Only dirty dew is the heart of greed.

29. There is no stagnant water in life, only magnificent and wonderful. If stagnant water can't even grow moss.

30. Since you can't easily control your own destiny, isn't it good to control the destiny of others?

3 1. It is refreshing for a man to blaspheme a goddess as a prostitute.

32. Behind the green is superficial, but it is not close to profound.

Sadness comes from thinking too much, but psychology plays a role-Jay Chou's black humor.

Come on, you've been thinking about it for a long time. -Jay Chou's black humor

35. Man: My wife drank pesticides for forced demolition. The doctor said: Just spit it out. Man: I've run out of methods and can't spit it out. The doctor approached the unconscious woman's ear and said, "Benefit for the people (the woman is a little reactive), love for the people (the woman is a little convulsive), build the party for the public (the woman makes a disgusting voice), govern for the people (the woman covers her mouth), and put people first (the woman turned over and threw up). Men are extremely grateful: the party is my savior! joke

Debut at 36, 29, every day 10 years old. 20-year-old dream, 30-year-old effort. At the age of 40, it is basically oriented, and at the age of 50, it is full of popularity. Playing mahjong at the age of 60 and wandering around at the age of 70. 80-year-old lesbians are very common, and 90-year-old lesbians are hanging on the wall.

37. Ma Liang painted ten suns with magic strokes, and Hou Yi accidentally shot through the sky and made up for Nu Wa. There was only one sun left, and Kuafu was exhausted. He turned into two mountains in front of Gong Yu's house, and Gong Yu began to move the mountains and stones into the sea. The rising water level drowned Jingwei, so he filled the sea with stones. Then there was a flood, and Dayu went to control the water. This story tells us that Ma Liang will not die unless he dies.

38, keen nerves, moved by the ridiculous. In the eyes of others, your shallowness; When you feel paralyzed, in the eyes of others, you will be deep.

39. Anyone who looks at himself and then worries is extraordinary, standing in the troubled forest without being worried.

40. Several Guan Masters approached me on the road, and I could only see their faces flushed with cold …

4 1, ordering food ... I don't feel full ~ I bought all insurance to make China people slim!

42, true love is sweet to tooth decay!

43. There are thousands of miles to meet, and there is no chance to take a woman on a blind date.

44. God opened a window, ready to give me wisdom; But god didn't want to give me a good face. He wanted to close a window, so I rushed over. It was too late, and my face hit the window, and it became like this!

45. As soon as the tortoise dozes off, the snail will catch up!

Black humorous sentences

1. I'm stupid and I'm happy. I'm two years old and I'm healthy.

The tragedy of life is that when you want to do anything, you only have a knife.

I'm not afraid to drink dichlorvos, but I'm afraid to open the lid and have one more bottle.

Fat, why are you always so attached to me?

5. Growing old together is more than just dyeing your hair and knocking out a few teeth.

6. It may not be the enemy or your son who shits on your head.

7. Sister Lin didn't die of illness, but actually fell from the sky and died.

8. God didn't take special care of me or abandon me. He just played with me.

9. At least I wear glasses. How can I flirt with a good woman?

10. Making money is like digging with a needle, and spending money is like seeping into the ground.

1 1. Give you some sunshine and you will be brilliant. Give you some charcoal and you can make a bomb.

12. In the current weather, instant noodles can be directly soaked in tap water.

13. When will there be a bright moon? Ask Yi Zhongtian!

14. You can't reach it. Try stepping on your right foot with your left foot.

15. Take off my clothes, I am an animal. Put on my clothes. I'm the devil wears Prada!

16. Study hard for China! A pack of China cigarettes is a lot of money!

17. Only the fakes are real, and the others are fake!

18. Life is simple. Live, relax. Life is not easy.

19. Rogues are not terrible, just afraid of being educated.

20. What do you do during sex and who you mate with.

2 1. Who was I before I was born and who was I after I was born?

22. A beautiful woman who leaves without hugging her body often makes a satyr cry.

23. If people don't attack me, I won't attack. If someone commits a crime against me, give in three points. If people commit crimes against me again, they will be uprooted.

24. Don't put pressure on me, it will be my motivation to become your boss.

25. Look at your ranking and you will know how many people are in your class.

People in the upper class always like to do some dirty things.

How long a mouse can live depends on the cat's mood.

In this harmonious society, primary school students celebrate Valentine's Day, middle school students celebrate Singles Day and college students celebrate Children's Day.

29. Interpretation means shielding, shielding means dishonesty, and dishonesty means lack of cleaning!

30. After knowing you, a sense of intellectual superiority arises spontaneously.

3 1. Since ancient times, no one has died in life. You don't need paper to shit!

32. Cheap is also an art. Let's do this art well together!

I am not a bone. I can't let every dog run after me.

34. The tragedy of life lies in: I worked hard to have a sweet dream all night, but I can't remember it when I woke up the next morning!

35. If you mess with me again, I'll beat you into clouds with a meteor.

36. The mountain is not high and the tree is spiritual; People are not handsome, but rich.

37. Life is like an angry bird. There are always a few pigs laughing when they fail.

38. Confucius said that in a threesome, there must be my wife. Choose a beautiful one to marry.

39. The old lady once turned to smile and fascinated the teacher.

40. People have a lot of backgrounds, but I only have my back.

4 1. Now people who can earn 200 Jin of pork a month are barely white-collar.

42. It is said that love meets at the corner. Damn it, I accidentally got hit by a car before I got to the corner!

43. Why go when there is no way out? Just take the bus

44. Do you think I will watch you die? I'll close my eyes!

45. Tucao is used to count money, not to make sense!

46. If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

If one day I become a hooligan, please remember to remind me that I was innocent.

48. The crowd searched for him for thousands of Baidu, and suddenly looking back, the man still disdained me …

49. The furthest distance in the world is not the ends of the earth, but that I am in telecommunications and you are in Netcom. ...

50. God gave us acne while giving us youth!

5 1. Go to today's class and sleep yesterday's sleep!

I can't outrun that BMW after all, so I can only watch it go away in the sunset. It's not that my engine is broken, but that my chain has fallen off.

53. Look into my eyes and you will see persistence and sincerity except shit.

54. The kid next door finally vowed to lose weight-at the graduation job fair, someone said to him, "Sorry, buddy, you blocked my cell phone signal."

We should keep quiet when listening to the sermon in the church. It is impolite to disturb others' sleep.

56. People are not smart, and they are as bald as others! !

57. There are so many people who despise me. Who are you?

58. I love you. What do you care?

59. Chopin, no matter how awesome B is, it can't play the sadness of Lao Tzu!

60. As long as the hoe jumps well, which corner can't be dug down?

Classic black humorous sentences

Classic black humorous sentences

1. Why do pandas like to eat bamboo? Because pandas like to eat!

2, it's not that simple after listening. The next song is about the entanglement caused by love …

3. Those who are satisfied are always happy, knowing that the national football players are not very happy.

It is a happy thing to do what you like and not interfere with others.

A person's life is like a key. There are ups and downs, but it will rust if it is not polished. To start a dream, you need it to persist, and you need it to know how to advance and retreat to get something that belongs to you.

6. If there is an answer, there is a truth. When others believe your answer, that is the truth!

7. Life is like a box of paint. Open it, it's colorful and sometimes dry!

8. Misreading of famous works: Liu Taoyuan got up with Sanjieyi, accompanied Tang Priest to learn from the West, met Jia Baoyu and became good brothers.

9. Interpretation of famous works: Romance of the Three Kingdoms, Water Margin, Watching Journey to the West, Learning Poverty, and Dreaming of Beauty in the Red Chamber.

10, the world is not peaceful. Every place is a pit. Some roads have pits, and some people have pits on their heads!

1 1. People's worries are worries about the future.

12, some people are valuable when they die, and some people are valuable when they die!

13, success looks at us in the dark, because we strive for success.

14, people came into this world crying and made so much effort just to compensate for the hope of changing to a different state after death! (of a person) burst out laughing over the absurdity

15, the old man has no career and chooses to become an old woman; Lose happiness and hope to remarry.

16, some people like Satan because he is a bad person, and some people like God because he is a customer!

17, I only have eyes for you, and there are others in my heart!

18, talk in your sleep with your eyes open. Do not be blind.

19, if life gives you a hard time, don't give yourself a hard time!

The clock can stop at any time, but time is always moving. Cherish time

2 1, one person is very simple, thinking of another person is very lonely.

22. Walking on the road in the dark means walking alone! The sky rang and thought there was another brother Diao. It turned out to be a crow!

23. Live in your own dreams during the day and in other people's dreams at night!

24. It is often said that the last thing people know is themselves. Eyes always habitually look away and blur themselves at the same time. Until one day you find the mirror ... in fact, everyone who is willing to stand in front of the mirror is eager to know themselves.

25. Don't just criticize beauty and ugliness with your eyes; Don't judge singers only by their ears; Don't live by just one mouth; Don't be afraid of being called "conservative"!

26. Under normal circumstances, if the trajectories of two lines intersect, they will eventually drift away; And two parallel lines with the right distance are the eternal follow! Just like the biggest attraction between two magnets is to keep the most suitable distance, not intimacy. It is right for everyone to spend more time thinking before preparing for the next intersection, and to keep proper rationality in casual.

27. The so-called people in the M-Zone refer to people who were beaten by M people together.

28, a smiling face is very simple, a smiling face is very complicated.

29. It is easy to do good deeds sincerely; Thinking about things all day, depressed and frustrated.

30. The spirit of Ah Q is to please my misfortune with more of your misfortune.

3 1, the dark clouds in the sky are black. When I was a child, I naively thought that God owed Satan money and would not pay it back. I came to his house to splash paint today!

32. With the two weights of ideal and love, the balance of luck will fall to your side.

33. I have a house facing the sea for mortgage!

34. Some people die for freedom, while others die for freedom.

He came to see me when I was sick and had a fever, and later we became enthusiastic people.

36. Some people become superhuman after having a high fever, while others become vegetative.

It's one thing to like someone, but it's another to want it, just as he likes the idea of rainy days instead of getting wet!

38, everything is not ready, still owe the east wind, borrow the east wind, I fly a kite.

I remember when I was a child, I did everything to help my grandmother cross the street. Actually, she doesn't want to. Help aunt wash the quilt. It turned out that she was basking! Help the elderly mow the grass. It turned out to be his flower.

40. Listening to your jokes, I cried twice!

4 1. For me, a diamond is just a piece of carbon with 99.98%, but I like carbon quite much.

42. Life is just a process from one destination to another and finally to the graveyard.

43, ten years to educate people, a hundred years to die, a hundred years to burn paper.

44. Life always goes on, and so does sleep!

45. "Good people are jealous, poor people look down on you, open people say you are coquettish, conservative people say you are pretending, honest people say you are stupid, smart people say you are a traitor, cold people say you are proud, enthusiastic people say you are a wave, walking in front of you and being sap, walking behind. In short, no matter how good you are, someone will find fault with you. This is: reality. ."

Love is a black humorous sentence.

Love black humor sentence:

1, it's really just that sometimes, I'm waiting for you to speak first.

2. Don't mention it when you come to this world. Do it at once if you want, don't waste time.

3. Many people have only done "waiting" and "regretting" all their lives, which together is called "too late".

4. A small variable in life can change the direction of choice. If they had appeared earlier, they wouldn't have clung to another person's finger or met later. Later, they gradually learned tolerance and understanding in their respective love experiences, so they would not give up so easily and let go of love.

There are two kinds of simple happiness: one is a child, and the other is a wise man who has insight into life. Material things can buy happiness, but lasting happiness comes from inner spiritual happiness. The reason why you live happily is because you have learned to magnify beauty.

6, life, more fantasy, more fun.

7. There are a thousand kinds of happiness, and there will be a thousand kinds of pain. The happiness of others may be your pain; The pain of others may be your happiness. The happiness of life comes from the sudden opening of the heart, just as you stand under the night, look up at the sky and suddenly see the stars all over the sky.

8. Sean Xiaohui is a big pit. As long as you accept it, you must find opportunities to return, look forward to the spring rain and pay for the harvest. In fact, it is a simple relationship between seeds and fruits. Don't let innocence hurt you. Remember: life is like a play. Everyone is looking for a balance of interests. Only balanced games can be played.

9. Life is really hard in this materialistic world. If you deliberately be honest, people will use you to bully you. If you are gifted and good-looking, others will envy you and crowd you out. If you give in generously, people will invade you and hurt you. If you don't fight with others, you have to be indifferent to the world, and at the same time you have to maintain your strength and be prepared for the struggle. If you want to make peace with others, you have to deal with them first, and you have to be prepared to suffer losses at any time.

10, don't leave me there just because you know I'll wait for you.

Love black humor sentence:

1 1. There are two things in the world that you can't look directly at, one is the sun and the other is the human heart.

12, "I love you, so you have to listen to me". This is one of the most typical love lies in our society. Parents control children with this lie, teachers control students with this lie, men control women with this lie, and women control men with this lie. Choosing for others in the name of love is killing others' lives, because the meaning of life lies in choice.

13, friendship, like love, has a shelf life. Think about how many friends who have been out of touch silently exist in your address book. It's not that I don't want to contact. But that life is cruel and time and space are changing. You and I have no intersection. It's better to be in love with each other than to be in love with each other. Life is just a journey, you pass by me, I pass by you, and then, practice separately and move on.

14, the most important thing is that books can go far: we can turn around, but we don't have to look back. Even if one day, we find that we are wrong, we should turn around and stride in the right direction instead of always looking back and complaining that we are wrong.

15, the root of a person's happiness lies in his willingness to be himself. Don't make unnecessary assumptions and think that you have made another choice. What you hold in your hand, which you are tired of or used to, may be exactly what others want. So be happy, be grateful and enjoy what you have quietly.

16, I am destined to meet two people in my life: one is amazing and the other is gentle.

17. How far is the future? We walked together. How long is this road? We walked together. Every day with you is sunny. Honey, I miss you and I love you.

18, love is not finding a pair of hands that are perfect for you, but holding your hand no matter how inappropriate.

19. Listening to you say good night before going to bed every night is my simplest and lasting happiness.

20. Distance is just a space. As close as the heart is.

Love black humor sentence:

2 1. True love is when you know that the love in your heart has no end.

22. The source of goodness is the heart. If you dig it, it will come out.

23. Keep your heart like this, be slightly nervous and not lax, and be calm when dealing with uncertainty. The hurt is bearing, and the silence is expanding. The end is a new beginning. In this way, I salute your heart. -Annie, baby

24, a lifetime is so long, one day you never know who will accompany you to the end. Sometimes you meet someone and think it's her, and then look back. In fact, she just gives you what you want in this way. -Wu Xinyi's "To Youth We Will Die"

25, no matter when and where, when you do yourself, don't forget the people around you. As long as you have the opportunity and ability, you should care and help them. As long as we do, naturally someone will help us achieve ourselves in the dark.

26. Live a carefree life with a willing attitude.

27. The strength of a man lies not in the ability to practice muscles, but in the ability to manage emotions; A man's handsomeness lies not in his clothes and manners, but in the way he wears an apron and washes dishes. The charm of a woman is not that she dresses up beautifully, but that she can keep her family in order. The beauty of a woman lies not in how elegant she is, but in the fact that she can help the men around her stand higher.

28. The excitement of others makes me as quiet as you.

29. If there is a constant, why do you have to sleep at night? The most useless thing is to be frozen for ten days a day. ——*

30, don't rely too much on a person, because of dependence, so expect; Disappointed because of expectation. Remember.