Are there any clever China stories?

Once upon a time, there was a rich man who had only one daughter. At the age of 60, he gave birth to another son named Fei.

The rich man was afraid that his family's property would be taken away by his son-in-law, so he wrote a suicide note and gave it to his son and son-in-law respectively. The suicide note reads: "A 60-year-old son gave birth to a son, but if it is not my son, I will pay all his property and fields, and I will not argue with my son-in-law and outsiders." . After the death of the rich man, the son-in-law embezzled the family property, leaving only a small house for the rich man's son. A few years later, the rich man's son grew up and wanted his brother-in-law to get his property back. The two men argued and sued the government.

The son-in-law said confidently: "It is clearly written in the father-in-law's suicide note: when a 60-year-old son gives birth to a son, people will say that it is not my son, and the family property will be given to the son-in-law, and outsiders are not allowed to argue. The county magistrate took the suicide note and deliberated it carefully, but awarded the property to the rich man's son.

Guess what the county magistrate found on the suicide note? It turns out that the magistrate moved punctuation marks and guessed the real meaning of the rich man:

"A 60-year-old man has a son, and people say' no', it's my son. When the property is handed over to the countryside, the son-in-law is not allowed to argue with outsiders. 」

The meaning of a sentence is very different because of the movement of punctuation, which shows how important punctuation is.

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Second, rich people marry wives.

Once upon a time, there was a scholar who acted as a matchmaker for the son of a rich family. The letter wrote:

"This female pockmarked face is hairless, with black skin and white idiot's innocence, regardless of the engagement fee ..."

The family of the rich man readily agreed. He believes that "this woman has a pockmarked face, dark hair, fair skin and infatuation, and no matter how much money she pays, it is indispensable ..." Where can I find such a good condition? But the bride who got married turned out to be a bald man with a pockmarked face, so I went to the scholar's theory.

The scholar said, "I wrote clearly in my letter:" This woman is pockmarked, hairless, dark-skinned, an idiot, regardless of innocence, and her salary is indispensable. "Every word! Rich people have a hard time.

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Third, Zhu Zhishan's couplets (1)

According to legend, during the Hongzhi period of the Ming Dynasty, a rich man's mansion was just completed, and Zhu Zhishan was invited to write couplets. I wish I could write the following:

"This house can live in peace.

He was very sad. "

The rich man blamed Zhu Zhishan for writing him such unlucky words. Zhu Zhishan smiled and said:

"Why do you say this couplet is unlucky? Let me read it to you!

This house is safe and livable.

He is kind and not sad.

This is good luck! 」

The rich man felt ridiculous when he heard this.

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Four, Zhu Zhishan's couplets (2)

According to legend, Zhu Zhishan and buddhist nun passed by a member's house on New Year's Eve when they suddenly heard the baby fall to the ground and wrote on the door:

"It's good to have bad luck this year. I don't have an account.

I gave birth to a demon last night, not a good son and grandson. "

On New Year's Day, I saw this couplet as soon as I opened the door.

"This year is really unlucky. There is no hukou at all.

I gave birth to a demon last night, not a good son and grandson. 」

Crying for bad luck, and then looking for Zhu Zhishan theory.

Zhu Zhishan said, "You got the sentence wrong. You should read it like this:

This year is really good, no luck, money comes in;

Born last night, the demon is away, good children and grandchildren. 」

The member turned anger into joy and quickly put on a wine to thank him.

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Verb (abbreviation for verb) New Year greetings.

Once upon a time, a scholar wrote a New Year message and gave it to a farmer. The farmer couldn't read, so he happily took it back and put it on the lintel. Neighbors came to see that one of them, Zhang San, knew a few words although he didn't read much, because there were no punctuation marks in the sentence. After he broke this sentence, the farmer couldn't help being furious. The congratulatory message was written like this:

"Bad luck this year, many lawsuits.

Piglets are as big as mice, and they all die clean.

Vinegar is good in the wine-making jar, but sour in the jar. 」

The farmer ran angrily to ask the scholar, and the scholar interrupted this sentence again. The farmer turned anger into joy and went home happily. Its sentence-breaking method:

"This year is good, less luck, no lawsuit.

Piglets are as big as their homes, and all the mice are dead.

A good wine-making jar makes the vinegar jar sour. 」

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Six, pedestrians are not allowed to urinate.

Policeman: "How can you pee anywhere? 」

Passerby: "This is what you stipulated!" " Patrol: "Nonsense. 」

Passerby: "Isn't it written here: Pedestrians can't wait, urinate. 」

Patrol: "Nonsense! It should be: pedestrians, etc. Don't pee. "

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7. Who is the champion?

The battle report of a baseball game wrote:

"Because of this fierce baseball game,

China defeated Cuba and won the World Cup. 」

The first man looked at it and said that China had won the baseball game. What is written in the newspaper is:

"Because of this fierce baseball game,

China defeated Cuba,

Win the world cup. 」

The other party said, no, the newspaper clearly says:

"Because of this fierce baseball game,

China was defeated,

Cuba won the World Cup. 」

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Eight, women will panic without men.

A professor wrote a sentence and asked students to write punctuation marks on it.

As a result, all the girls' answers are: "If there are no women, men will panic! 」

And all the boys' answers are: "Women will panic without men! 」

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Nine, sick? Dead?

The undertaker of a certain unit was ordered to explain to his superiors the reasons for not attending important meetings, and to make jokes without punctuation on important words. The article said, "A director of our hospital was unable to attend the meeting due to illness ..." When he received a written complaint, his superiors were shocked.

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Order food

No chicken, duck, fish and vegetables is enough.

What exactly do the guests want?

You don't need chicken, duck and fish. A dish of vegetables is enough. (rough tea and light rice)

Without chickens, ducks can do it; Without fish, meat is ok; A plate of vegetables is enough. (set meal)

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XI。 University road

On the way to college, there is a saying: "Zhi Zhi will decide later, then he can be quiet, then he can be quiet, then he can be safe, then he can think, and then he can get it." 」

Once upon a time, there was a private school teacher in Dongcun because there were no punctuation marks. He taught his students to read this: "Zhi Zhi will settle down, then be quiet, then be quiet, then think, and then get it.". When the teacher read this, he exclaimed, why is there a word "de" missing?

There is also a teacher in Nishimura who has another teaching method: "Zhi Zhi will have it later, decide later, be quiet later, be safe later, think later and get it." . "He also said in surprise, how did you become more" German "?

One day, the teacher in the East Village went to the West Village to find this teacher. When he heard this, he suddenly realized, "No wonder I didn't have a' good' study. It turns out that all the "good" in my university have come to you! 」

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Twelve, poetry script

Punctuation is closely related to the structure and mood of a sentence. The pronunciation and meaning of the same paragraph are completely different because of the different punctuation marks used. Du Mu, a poet in the Tang Dynasty, wrote a seven-character quatrain Qingming.

A drizzling rain falls like tears on the Mourning Day; The mourner's heart is going to break on his way.

Ask local people where to buy wine? The shepherd boy just laughed and didn't answer Xingshan Village.

We can turn the original poem into a poem by changing punctuation:

It will rain in Tomb-Sweeping Day. Pedestrians are on the road, trying to break their souls.

Excuse me, where is the restaurant? There is a shepherd pointing to Xinghua Village.

Another punctuation method can even turn it into a "drama"!

[Time] Tomb-Sweeping Day.

[Landscape] It's raining.

[Location] On the road.

Pedestrian: Excuse me, where is the restaurant?

Shepherd boy (pointing): Xinghua Village.

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Thirteen, textbook exercise answers, * * * has seven answers!

Stay on rainy days, but I won't stay on days.

Stay in the rain, but stay on me? Don't stay.

Stay in rainy days, will you stay with me? Stay.

If it rains, stay in the daytime; Leave me alone!

If it rains, stay for a day, stay for me? Don't stay.

Stay for a day on rainy days; Will you leave me? Stay.

If it rains, stay for one day, will you stay for me?