I want to laugh at the joke of stomachache! See who has more!

1。 The soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine in the battle? The company commander was greatly annoyed: Shit, what can I do? Pay the price for stepping on it. 2。 I'm very upset that I haven't heard from you for a long time. I thought of death, and I cut my pulse with potato chips; Hit you on the head with tofu; Jump over buildings with parachutes; Noodles. Everyone can die. You can invite me to dinner and support me to death. 3。 A four-year-old boy kissed a three-year-old girl, and the girl said to the boy, you will be responsible for me if you kiss me. The boy patted the girl on the shoulder maturely and said with a smile: Don't worry, we are not children of one or two years old. In the supermarket, you reach under the bar code scanner curiously, and the screen shows: trotters, 8 yuan. You think the machine is broken, put your face in the past, and the screen shows: pig head, 5 yuan! 5。 Guess: all the pigs in the world are dead ... write a song title! Sandy Lam, at least you. The wolf came and the pigsty was a mess. Mother pig arranged: "big pig, you go and block the door!" Two pigs to block the window! " Mother pig got angry when she saw the pig and roared, "Third, don't read the message! You are fleshy, go out and draw the wolf away. Don't get drunk again. " What is wrong with me? ""also said! Yesterday, someone saw you chasing a pig with a glass and shouting,' Are you a brother? It was a brother! " 8。 Official log: get up in the morning and punch in; Have a meeting in the morning and take a nap; Eat at noon and burp; Call at work in the afternoon; Work overtime at night and play cards; Entertainment at night, sex; Go home in the middle of the night and fight. 9。 The lazy cat went crazy after a mouse and finally got married. After marriage, the cat took care of the mouse in every way, and the mouse soon became fat. The old mouse was very moved: Dear, why are you so kind to me? Hey, hey, the cat said with a smile, you'll know when you get fat. 10。 Have you started working again? I have told you more than once not to work so hard and pay attention to your health. But you always say meaningfully, "If you don't roll more dung balls while the weather is warm, what will I eat in winter?" "! !"