With you

It's like a one-act play directed by time.

Courage, impulsiveness, cowardice, curiosity, longing, confusion, sadness, disappointment, thinking ... All the exclusive memories of youth are in the scripts of young people, stop and go.

When it is open, we are ignorant, although it is close to our eyes. It is because it is too close, too close to our eyes, so it blocks all our sight.

Only when it comes to an end can we see it clearly. See clearly the cause and effect gains and losses behind those wonderful and lost. However, everything is already a frozen movie. Whether you laugh or cry, you can only stand at the end of time and look at the ending eggs at the end of time.

This is youth, and only when it slips away by more than half can we see it clearly. Look at the best of us loved by time.

0 1 ? Early signs

In the autumn of 2007, I just turned ten.

In the first semester of Grade Four, I sat at the same table with Zhou Xiao.

Interestingly, Zhou Xiao and I were originally two parallel lines that would never intersect, but we became deskmates and our destinies began to intersect.

Zhou Xiao is the first in the school year, the monitor and leader. He has always been a "three good students", an excellent student cadre, and the darling of the head teacher in the eyes of teachers. Among our group of primary school students who worship teachers, he is the envy of almost everyone.

At that time, I read a bunch of miscellaneous books, even Gone with the Wind, but most of them didn't understand much and swallowed it. I'm used to being alone in a hard shell, with no companions and friends. In class, you can choose to be in a daze, sleep or read novels at will; When the teacher asks questions, his head can't wait to be buried in the hole in the table; After class, I leaned against the railing in the corridor to listen to MP3.

Zhou Xiao and I like the pros and cons of role-playing very much. Except one thing.

For different reasons, Zhou Xiao and I don't listen in class. However, he is a good student and can only stare at the blackboard in a daze, while I, a bad student, can switch freely among multiple options. At that time, I was addicted to the world of "books and swords, love and hate", so I spent most of my time reading novels. When Zhou Xiao was in a daze, he occasionally glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. After we got to know each other better, he asked me what book I was reading. When he heard the titles of chivalrous man, strange tales from a strange studio and folk literature, his facial expression collapsed because he had never heard of them.

He discussed with me: "You lend me a set of your books and I'll lend you one."

I brought him a Dream of Red Mansions by People's Literature Publishing House 1982, and he gave me a set of The Book of Songs by Zhonghua Book Company. Within half a month, he finished reading a dream of red mansions, curled his lips and returned the book to me, just like that. Later, we borrowed books from each other several times, but most of the time he was not interested in my books. From then on, I borrowed his books, and my reading taste changed from Xialiba to Yangchun Baixue under his unintentional guidance.

The Book of Songs he lent me contains many uncommon words, and there are no notes in the vernacular, so I managed to finish it. I don't understand many things, and he won't explain them. He just told me, "Read it a hundred times and you will understand what you mean." "Because I study hard, I don't want to watch it, but Zhou Xiao found a new hobby after studying, and that is to test me. Out of competitive psychology, I satisfied his pastime. Often he said the last sentence, let me say the next sentence; Or he just throws a song out of his head and silences me all. I told him that he took it for granted; I don't know, he shook his head contemptuously. My sense of competition does not allow me to fail. So under the stimulation of this game, I gradually memorized the whole Book of Songs.

It is actually a kind of courage to be competitive. The competition between Zhou Xiao and me is also increasingly fierce.

In the morning reading class, I am no longer in a daze. We were busy fighting, busy all winter. He watches "Back" and I watch "Hurry"; He recited "Climbing Mount Tianmu in a Dream" and I recited "Moonlit Night on a Spring River". Unconsciously, my reading ability and memory ability have improved rapidly. My game with Zhou Xiao was one-sided from the beginning, and later it became that I would win occasionally. Every time I make things difficult for Zhou Xiao, his expression will be very rich. He pretended to be calm, indifferent, secretly glad, secretly staring at me ... anyway, any one is more fun than his usual age.

However, this game, which originated from recreation, made me hate myself more and more.

When I was ten years old, I suddenly realized that fate began to step into another river.

When the second spring began, I was no longer the crane tail in my class. Since the fifth grade, I have become an excellent student in the eyes of teachers. I was once crowded on the last bus of the Chinese Young Pioneers, but when I graduated from primary school, I was recommended by Director Zhao of the Moral Education Department and served as the host of the Young Pioneers Congress with him.

Six years, the first half was wasted by me, and the second half awakened me.

A lot of things, I don't remember, I don't remember, but I remember graduation photo who was stuck in an old book.

Under the camera.

The girls were all smiles.

Boys are naive.

I sat upright beside the teacher, silly.

Zhou Xiao stood behind me, holding my shoulder and making faces.

02 ? Grow up like silk thread

At the beginning of 20 17, I took a midnight flight The plane flew into the stratosphere, with no clouds overhead and the cabin lights still on. I covered my head with my coat and looked at the stars on the porthole.

That day, I finished my two-week job as an interpreter in the provincial museum. I was exhausted. But I can't sleep at all. The way home is always exciting.

The stars are brighter than the night lights on the wings. Even if the double plastic glass of the porthole is blurred, it can't erase their light. I have loved the stars for many years, and this time, it is the closest place for me to them.

I looked at the window for a long time until the cabin light came on. On one side of the head, the girl next door didn't have time to look back, and the surprise and doubt remained on her face, probably thinking that I was possessed.

I was a little embarrassed and said to her, "There are stars outside. You can look out of the light. "

She didn't speak and smiled. This is also normal.

Somehow, I vaguely remember my 15-year-old self wishing on a star, three wishes of 20 12.

World peace and parents' health.

I became a great man.

The boys in the next class will like me.

The first two cannot be verified yet. Third, there is no way to prove it.

At half past one in the morning, I walked out of the terminal. It was heavy and windy, and the road was deserted. I turned on my cell phone and there were five missed calls, all of which were Lin. The last time was a minute ago.

I'll call back.

"Lin, have you returned to China?"

"well. I will wait for you at the exit of Area A. "

"Hell, you are at the airport now! ? "

"Are you moved?"

The night is heavy. Tears and fog overlap and the line of sight is blurred.

You will meet many friends in your life, most of whom are only suitable for eating hot pot and singing; A few will make you want to calm down and chat with them aimlessly; Few people listen to the same songs as you, read the same version of the book as you, tell you stupid things that were humiliating, and stubbornly refuse to let go for their own ambitions, and walk with you for many years.

I met Lin for the first time. She opened her hands and smiled at me.

At that time, my heart was really warm and practical.

We ran to Starbucks at the airport to watch movies on our laptops. In the last scene of Black Boy Not Too Cold, Mathilda planted Leon's potted plants on the grass in front of the school and said, "I think we will have a good time here", which subverted Lin and my sensitive emotions.

It was the 80th anniversary of No.3 Middle School in early October of 20 15. The spotlight shone in the night.

A formal school uniform with a black suit and white shirt. Very clean. It's very cold.

Sitting at the gate of the playground wearing a red armband, the temporary secretariat set up by the student union serves for the registration and questioning of all classes. The ceremony went smoothly, and the red and white banner above the rostrum "I wish the 80th anniversary of the Third Middle School a complete success" complemented each other.

On the stage, the fire tree and silver flowers, the stars gather. Lin wore a light blue evening dress, a delicate bun and elegant makeup on her face. She is eloquent. Driven by her and several other hosts, the party gradually reached its climax. The audience was crowded and the waves rolled with laughter.

I feel tired from sitting for too long. Simply flashlight, follow the discipline inspection department students walk in the crowd. When I walked to the queue of Class Two, a familiar figure appeared in the flashlight. It was Zhou Xiao.

He turned his head and saw it was me. He said with a straight face, "You are neglecting your duty! ? "

I nodded easily, played a joke on him and returned to my post.

In fact, Zhou Xiao also has a flashlight in his hand, but it is only used to brush the questions. He is preparing for the upcoming national mathematics competition for middle school students, and time is precious. I don't want to disturb him.

Towards the end of the party.

I stood not far from the podium, with my hands in my pockets, and saw a subtle scene. Among a group of students with vague faces, only Lin is silent and serious, with exceptionally bright eyes, looking at someone intently-but the person she is looking at is not in my sight.

Perhaps, behind all the fleeting moments, there is a thin tail hidden. I just can't catch it.

From Starbucks, Lynn and I went to take a taxi. It was four o'clock in the morning when I got home.

The traffic lights on the coastal road are staggered and there are no cars. I suddenly told her that I watched robot cats when I was a child. In one episode, everyone was restored. A mini city was built in the yard of Bear's house. Everyone's wishes are different. Tinker bell is looking forward to the free Tongluo Shao store, and Daxiong is eager to find a bookstore that stands and reads comics without being driven away by the boss ... There is only a bit part, lying at the crossroads, saying that he can finally lie on the road.

Lynn said, "Now lie down."

So we rushed to the middle of the empty road and lay down on our back at the red light.

Sometimes people's wishes are as simple as that, as long as this is good.

Forgetting the teenager who once talked with Kan Kan on the podium, she smoothed out the spirit of TOEFL and SAT to race against time for good grades and overcame the loneliness of studying alone in new york. For Lin, this is the greatest happiness lying on the road.

03 ? Three of us.

I vaguely remember that when the junior middle school Chinese teacher talked about Lao Wang, he pulled Qian Zhongshu back from Tsinghua, then from Qian Zhongshu back to Jiang Yang, and finally brought out a book: The Three of us.

At that time, several classmates laughed in ghosts and poked me with their elbows and said, "Write a book, also called" The Three of us. "

H laughed hysterically and was hit head-on by Zhou Xiao's language document.

Then, the whole class was booed, and even the head teacher smiled kindly and looked helplessly at his beloved two students, and the "three of us" thing was put aside.

The three of us have known each other for years. I went to Beijing for the first time in 2008 to watch the Olympic Games and climb the Great Wall together. 20 10 went to junior high school and was still in the same class; In 20 13, he wrote a proposal at the Model United Nations Conference for Middle School Students, and was admitted to the best high school in the city together in June of the same year. In 20 15, I went to Shanghai to participate in the new concept composition contest, and the three of us took a walk on the Bund. During the Spring Festival of 20 16, when I went to the capital for the second time, Zhou Xiao stood in front of the campus in Tsinghua and casually said that she could not pass the exam. Lin said he was melodramatic, and I said he was awkward. At the end of June, Zhou Xiao lived up to expectations and became what her mother often said, "someone else's child".

During the summer vacation of my freshman year, Lin and I participated in the EASIN China project, and went to Shangri-La to teach, protect the grassland and experience Tibetan culture.

The first night of the trip.

At Shuhe Ancient City Inn, we met the tour leader. He seldom speaks, but he is determined. The group held the opening ceremony and the round table was in full swing.

Lin and I sat at the stone table in the inn yard, writing plans, and were busy until zero. My eyes are full of fatigue, but my heart is full of a sense of accomplishment. When it is really the golden age of life.

The next day, we took a bus for nearly four hours and arrived at a school in the mountains. This is a primary school funded by UNESCO. There are many donations from all walks of life and complete supporting facilities. However, only teachers are needed. There is only one teacher in the whole school.

When I entered the classroom, I was instantly shocked by the children's clear, pure, warm and sincere eyes. This is a feeling that is difficult to express in words. Many children speak Tibetan, but I can't understand it. I can only rely on body language. After half a month of teaching, the children taught me Tibetan, and I taught them to speak Chinese and write Chinese characters.

Lin and I are in the same teaching group. We never have a lunch break, so we have to prepare lessons and write lesson plans. Primary school classes are not difficult to prepare, but the leader listens to the summary reports of each group every day after school, and his requirements are very strict. Nobody dares to fish in troubled waters.

At the weekend, the three of us went to Songzanlin Temple for a whole day. Dragging me lazily up the 146 stone steps in the hall, Lin kept laughing at us. I also heard local Tibetans talk about filial piety, marriage, life and death. Although I can't fully understand their culture, I respect it.

The last day of volunteering.

We took the children in our class to the Pahaila grassland to clean up the garbage. I made a flashy grassland trash can and carved an environmental protection wooden sign. Lin gave the children a lecture on environmental protection. As the sun sets, almost everyone walks back with a basket of white garbage on their backs. Their faces are dirty, but their smiles are sweet.

At night.

We had a simple farewell party with the children in our class. Each of them wrote a letter and read it to us. Clumsy handwriting, clear voice, no affectation and perfunctory, only sincerity. What impressed me most was that a child thanked Zhou Xiao for helping their family repair most of the broken light bulbs.

After the farewell party, I turned off the light and went outside the classroom. As soon as I went out, I saw a small figure at the door. It's rancho.

She pursed her lips and gave me a photo. She drew it herself. This picture shows a mountain and a little girl standing on the top of it.

I asked her, "Is that the little girl in the photo you?"

She shook her head and said after a while, "I want to be her."

For a moment, I was surprised. But I soon understood. Children in the mountains are eager to see the outside world. However, too few people go out.

Mountain people yearn for the city, but city people are very tired. People are always dissatisfied.

I said, "I believe you."

She ran away with her mouth bent.

In my mind, Long Cuo is the quietest girl in the class. She has a low head in class, doesn't like going out to play in class, and walks alone after school.

Kind of like I used to.

It doesn't look good.

Youth is like this. It is the same whether you cherish it carefully or wantonly. Anyway, no matter how you spend it, you will regret it in the end. I understand that this great time has been wasted. Youth is always late.

Fortunately.

After so many years, everyone I know and I are still trying to give off a faint light and seriously spend a life that is extremely small to the universe. So that when I look back, I can use my favorite gesture to say: We were the best at that time.