I'm sorry, I can't love you anymore

? "I haven't seen you for a long time. Who is your role? I'm dressed in a white shirt carefully. The cufflinks were given by you..."

? Xue Zhiqian's "Gentleman" is playing in the earphones. ", with a delicate face that looked wet with tears, Ruoshi rubbed her sore eyes with her hands, took off her earphones, stood up and came to the window, staring blankly at the neon lights in the distance. The mobile phone that was abandoned on the table buzzed from time to time. The group was already in a frenzy. Blessing messages came one after another. Ruoshi looked away and looked blankly at the mobile phone that was rubbing against the table from time to time due to vibration. It's a little tilted, and now the phone has been ground to the corner of the table. After a few more messages, it will fall off. I don't want to pay attention to it, but I am unwilling to do so. It's enough for you to be injured, why bother the phone? Thinking of this, Ruoshi walked to the table and picked up the shaky cell phone. The phone was already hot from the vibration of the message, but it could not warm the already cold heart.

Feng, I finally waited for the news about you, but it was the ending I least wanted to see. You in the photo are more mature and steady, but the affection in your eyebrows is always the same, holding your arm next to you The girl with a smile on her arms looks exactly like herself ten years ago. You two are so perfect for each other. However, please forgive me for not being able to send you words of blessing with a broken heart. In the end, I can What you do is to stop loving you from tomorrow on.

Tears dripped down the tip of the pen into the diary, and the handwriting just written turned into ink stains and dispersed. Are you not willing to accept any bits and pieces related to him anymore? However, it is obvious that I bought you because of him. Your body is full of memories about him. Why are you teaching me to give up now? Ruoshi held the thick diary and rolled it She huddled on the bedside and refused to fall asleep for a long time. Scenes from the past played in her mind like a movie. After all, we can never go back. We were ourselves at that time...

Origin

? Ding-a-ling, ding-a-ling... The phone in the dormitory rang. Ruoshi was discussing with her roommate about hiking together tomorrow, "Ruoshi, your phone number." "Oh, here we come." , when Xiaohong took the phone, the little nympho winked at her and told her through lip language that he was a handsome guy. Ruoshi couldn't help but burst into laughter. You could tell by the sound of this girl's voice that he was a handsome guy. He was indeed a flower. Crazy.

? "Hello?"

? "Hello, is this Ruoshi?" A familiar voice sounded. Ruoshi's heartbeat suddenly skipped a beat, but she didn't dare to confirm, so she pretended Responded calmly

? "Well, who are you?"

? "No, you can't even hear my voice. I am Feng." Sure enough, it is. He, Rushi didn't know what to do for a moment. How could he have my dormitory phone number?

? "Hello? Hello?"

? "Huh? Oh~ Feng, it's you, you, how did you know my dormitory phone number?"

"I want to find you, but I can't find you with my ability? Haha" Sure enough, she is still so conceited, Ru Shi thought, obviously she was very excited, but she couldn't say a word, so she had to giggle along with her.

After chatting for a while, Feng said something happened and hung up the phone. Rushi put down the phone with relief, but found that her palms were soaked. It was really useless. She was so nervous even after answering the phone. "Hey, tell me honestly, who called you? Ah, my little face is all red. Look, everyone, our little Ruoshi is blushing!" Before everyone came over, Rushi quickly jumped to the page. On his own bed, he covered his head with a quilt, no matter how hard they pulled it, he couldn't get it out. It was about to turn out the lights, so everyone dispersed with laughter. However, Xiaohong was not willing to give in, and threatened that he would strictly enforce confessions another day, angrily. walked away.

? Ruoshi waited until the lights were turned off before she exposed her head and touched her face. She felt it was hot. For those who didn’t know, she thought she had a fever. Look at your ability, isn’t it just your crush giving you a shot? What about the phone call? Are you so excited? Ruoshi scolded herself and happily recalled the scene just now. She always felt that it was unreal. That night, Ruoshi fell asleep very late and had a beautiful dream.

Since then, Feng will call every day or two, and the roommates have also changed from being curious at first to being surprised now. Whenever the dormitory phone rings, they all shout in unison. Ruo Shi picks it up, Ruo Shi is no longer shy, and enjoys it as sweet as a cake.

? Speaking of which, Ruoshi and Feng were actually very close when they were in high school. However, Feng had many followers around him at that time, and she was pretending to be his friend's follower. , she always felt that she was good at pretending, and she always thought that he regarded her as a buddy, so she contacted her again a year later in college. Ruoshi also quickly adjusted from being uncomfortable at the beginning to becoming a buddy, because this It was the most comfortable relationship and the least likely to be lost until I received his letter.

I haven’t received a call from Feng for several days. Rushi was lying on the table absent-mindedly in a daze. Her roommate came back and threw her a letter, saying that she went to get the letter and saw Ruoshi. Ruoshi brought it back for her by the way. Ruoshi gave her a bright smile gratefully and couldn't wait to read the letter.

? The handwriting that caught his eye, the familiar font, Ruoshi suddenly became nervous, and even wrote a letter instead of calling. This was not his style, with doubts and uneasiness, Ruoshi opened the envelope:

Cute little Ruoshi:

? A letter is like a face to face!

? I think I must be crazy to write you a letter. As you know, I am very poor in Chinese, and my composition is often used as negative teaching material by teachers. Hehe, so, I write It's not good, so don't laugh at me.

? Lifting up the pen, your shy look appeared in front of my eyes, as if I saw your red little face again, haha, I really want to pinch it. Don't be angry, I'm speaking from the bottom of my heart. You don't know how much courage I mustered up to call you. I was actually so nervous that I had to pretend to be careless and indifferent, just for you and me. Let’s chat for a few words, because I know that you are used to me like this. I actually thought of a lot of things to say to you during that phone call, but as soon as I heard your voice, I was completely confused. I didn’t know. What should I say? I could only hide myself with laughter. I really couldn’t hold it anymore, so I made up an excuse and said I had something to do and hung up the phone. Don’t be angry. I didn’t really mean to lie to you. I was serious. I don’t know what to say to you. Alas, I feel like I am starting to become disorganized again, hehe.

Let me get straight to the point, Xiao Ruoshi, I like you. I liked you when I was in high school. Although you don’t like to talk, you are often in a daze, and you blush at every turn, but I still like you. , at that time, I kept doing some exaggerated things just to attract your attention. In the end, I successfully became good friends with you and talked about everything. Although this is still far from my goal, I can talk to you every day. I was already very happy together, hehe, but after graduation, we went to different universities and lost your contact information. I asked around for news about you, and the hard work paid off. I finally found you, you know me How excited were you at that time? I wanted to call you quickly and hear your voice, but I couldn't let you know what I was thinking, so I prepared for a long time before calling you, hehe.

? After calling you a few times, I became more sure that I like you. I wanted to call you every day, but I was afraid of annoying you, so I couldn’t bear to call you every few days. However, I still feel it's not enough, so I want to confess to you, so that I can legitimately call you every day, hehe

? Xiao Ruoshi, I like you, I can be your boyfriend ? I will call you in two weeks to hear your reply.

? Miss you Feng

Ruoshi touched her face, it felt so hot. It’s over. If they find out, it’s time to ask questions again. Ruoshi pressed the letter on the pillow Next, I quickly ran to the bathroom to wash my face until the temperature of my face returned to normal. Back in the dormitory, she chatted with her roommates with a smile on her face. She talked surprisingly much. The roommates looked at her in confusion and teased: Ruoshi, did you win the jackpot today? Why are you so happy? Ruoshi responded with a guilty conscience, "No, I'm not the same as usual."

Are you sure? Your face has turned into a flower, and you keep talking non-stop. You know, you usually talk the least in our dormitory, but today the sun is shining in the west? Ruoshi didn't continue to argue with them, and took the water bottle to open the water. She couldn't help laughing several times along the way. Ruoshi looked around, but fortunately no one was paying attention, otherwise, people would think she was crazy, hehe laugh.

? The person you have a crush on confesses to you. This is probably everyone’s dream scene. It’s no wonder that Ruoshi turned into a happy fool when her dream came true.

? Without any suspense, this happy long-distance relationship has begun. Daily phone calls have become a required course in their university. During festivals, Ruoshi will receive unexpected surprises. Shi still remembers the first gift Feng gave him. It was a bag, and there were two scarves in the bag. Except for the different colors, they were the same everywhere. At that time, her roommate teased her boyfriend for being too stupid for giving gifts. They were all silly, but Ruoshi felt sweet in her heart, because he really paid attention. It was not easy for a careless person to buy girls' bags and scarves on the street, so she was very satisfied.

? Finally got through the winter vacation, and they made an appointment to meet. Ruoshi never knew how to dress up, but she still dressed up from head to toe that day and went to the date place in her best appearance. , he has arrived. Ruoshi looked at the tall and straight figure, feeling a little dazed. She walked closer step by step, her heart beating fast. After all, this was their first date after they became boyfriend and girlfriend, and they hadn't seen each other for so long. He would I won’t be disappointed with my current appearance. Ruoshi lowered her head and thought about walking. She didn’t even realize that she was in front of him.

"Ouch!" Someone patted her head, and Ruoshi looked up. , just in time to meet those affectionate eyebrows, my heart skipped a beat.

? "You little fool, you don't even look at the road when you walk. If I were a tree, you would have a big bump on your head. Do you know?" He rubbed her hair ambiguously. Shi didn't dare to look him in the face, and pretended to be angry and said: "Then you can't hit me on the head." He immediately became nervous, holding her head with both hands, his face full of guilt, "Did it hurt? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, my hands are not heavy, don't be angry." He also blew on the place he hit just now like a child. , Ruoshi was amused by his actions, raised her head and said to him: "I'm not a three-year-old child, hehe~" Seeing her smile, he smiled too, and took her hand: "I will always I treat you like a three-year-old child, hehe." Ruoshi looked at his smile, as bright as a child's, so warm, this is the so-called love, together, we all become children.

? They went to many places together. He took her to eat all the things she liked and took a lot of photos. On that day, they didn't look like lovers who met for the first time, but like a young couple after a long separation. , this is probably the best form of love. We never promised each other, but we became the only ones in each other's hearts. Because I love you, I am not afraid of the barriers of thousands of rivers and mountains. Even if we meet briefly, I will try my best to let you see the most beautiful scenery.

? It was at that time that Ruoshi bought that thick diary. She wanted to seal their memories here and wait for them to look through them together when they were gray-haired. Looking back carefully, however, time is always so ruthless, and before the gray hair turns gray, only sad parting is ushered in.

Shi knew that he had not passed CET-4 yet, so she kept urging him to prepare English well. Every time she called, she would nag a few words. Feng became a little impatient and complained that she was no longer so considerate, like a housekeeper. Even though he's so far away, he still cares about him every day.

After being angry, the number of phone calls decreased, and Ruoshi was also a little angry. She was obviously doing her best, but he still didn't appreciate it. Therefore, the tone on the phone also showed dissatisfaction. After several times, Feng didn't call again. , Ruoshi didn't pay attention because she was too busy. Almost a month later, Ruoshi received a message:

Ruoshi, I didn't expect that I am so unimportant in your heart. It’s been months, and I’ve endured not contacting you, so you haven’t contacted me again. From the beginning of our relationship, I’ve always been the one to take the initiative. I know that you’ve always looked down on me when it comes to studies. I’ve tried hard, but you haven’t noticed. , just blindly accuse me of not seeking to make progress, I love you and miss you, but I really can’t stand being accused of not doing my job properly by you, I’m sorry, let’s break up.

? Ruoshi realized that she had ignored his feelings all this time. She started to call him frantically, turning off her phone, turning off her phone, turning off her phone again. Ruoshi panicked, and she even wanted to go to him. The school looked for him, only to find out that after being with him for three years, she only knew that his school was in Nanjing, and could not even tell the complete name of his school. Obviously, he was right, and she had never cared about him properly. If you don't live with him, you just selfishly enjoy all kinds of care from him.

Perhaps the selfish self is not worthy of having beautiful love. Ruoshi stopped dialing the number she knew so well and edited a text message with tears in her eyes:

Dear Maple :

Please allow me to call you this for the last time. It wasn’t until today that I realized that I am so selfish and I don’t deserve all your pampering. Thank you for the beauty you have brought to me in the past few years. I hope you can meet a life partner who is truly worthy of you in the days to come. Although I still love you, I'm sorry, but I still decided to give up. Goodbye, my beloved you.

With a gentle tap of her fingertips, tears fell in time. Ruoshi knew that the successful delivery would bring about the past that could never be returned. Their three-year relationship ended like this.

? Ruoshi was afraid that she would not be able to help but contact him again, so she simply deleted all his contact information, including the gifts he sent, and changed her mobile phone number. From then on, except for In that thick diary, Ruoshi no longer had any connection with him. In fact, she was lucky. Maybe, if he was willing, he would look for her again.

Because I love you so much, I decided to give up

She is indeed selfish, selfish and unfeeling. When Ruoshi thought of this, she suddenly felt relieved. It was obvious that she did not cherish him well and gave him such a good person. He lost it, so I have only brought it on myself for waiting all these years. I should bless him and sincerely wish him happiness.

? Thinking of this, Ruoshi sat up from the bed and looked at the time. It was half past eight. She should still be awake at this time. She took out her phone and looked through the records in the group. This class group is A classmate brought her in half a year ago. She said hello politely when she came in and never chatted with her again. It wasn’t until she saw his image that day that she discovered that he had been in the group. Also, he was in the group in high school. How popular he is, it's only natural to be in a group, but his image just lies there quietly, never saying a word. Occasionally, a classmate @him, but he didn't respond. He probably There is no need for this QQ, Ruoshi thought to herself, and she stopped staring at the QQ group every day.

Until today, he suddenly sent an invitation to the group, which contained their wedding photos. The two of them were smiling like flowers. Only then did Ruoshi understand that the person she was waiting for would never be seen again. Appearing in her life, she had to admit that she had been lying to herself all along. The him in her memory was no longer the ending she was waiting for.

? Find his image in the group, click on it, and initiate a private chat:

Ruoshi: Congratulations, happy wedding, and eternal happiness!

Feng: Thank you... are you doing well?

? Ruoshi: Very good, thank you.

? Feng: That’s good. Although it may be a bit late to tell now, I did look for you back then, but I wasn’t as lucky as the first time. I didn’t find you. I wish you happiness.

? Ruoshi: Yes, bye!

It turns out it was not wishful thinking on my part, he really came to me, and that was enough.

Carefully pressing the diary to the bottom of the box, patting the dust on her hands, Ruoshi waved her hand to the long-cherished memory.

Then he smiled and turned around and left.