Counting jokes in dialects

Henan dialect joke, I arranged it, welcome to read!

1, William Feng, which in turn is Henan dialect.

There are two birds on the branch.

Mother bird said, "Ge Yiren, go aside and estimate the exchange. It has withered my hair."

The male bird said, "Look at your poor bamboo. If you do it, you can't beat the cow! " The shoes are alive and alive! "

Beijingers teach Henan people to sing: "Sun, my great mother, you rise from the east and fall from the west every day ...! "

Before the song was finished, Henan people said to Beijingers, "Are you tired? See how we sing. "

Henan people then sang: "The sun! My mother-in-law, you saw the sky sliding up from the east and down from the west. Did you make the room panic? " 、、、

4. A Henanese came to xishuangbanna tourism and happened to meet the Songkran Festival. He swore:

Who is the exception? Who is the exception? The tour guide told him that splashing water on you is a blessing!

He said: You don't know! Shit, sister, that guy is boiling water!

5.A: You have a broken cotton-padded jacket A: You are stuck on the lining B: You can't bite the nail. B: You can't catch the lining. B: You can't hang on to the lining. B: The rope is broken. A: You are too miscellaneous to hit the wall. B: The wall is too old to hit.

6. Why am I useless?

It's dark at night. Let's go outside first. There are some distortions in the tree, and one effect calls for a happy day. Climbing the tree from Qingdao is enough, the wood stands steady, and an effect falls and knocks on the old cover, which hurts me to death. If it's really that beautiful, Fat Ni 'er will rub the beans for me, and the pain will go away. I think Fat Ni 'er wants to sleep like a congratulations.

Run to her house at dawn to find the goods: Fat Ni 'er! Fat Nell! When she saw me at the door, she blushed and asked, What's the matter with you? I went up and grabbed her chubby hand and said, let's have oil buns at the party. When I arrived at the fried bag stall, I touched the bag with both hands and took an empty shell. I am a fan of his. I scolded in my heart: fire, money on the pillow, I forgot to bring a rabbit grandson. I said: ok! Wood brings money. Fat Ni 'er said: I didn't grow pepper? What a nuisance! I won't talk for a while, alas! Why am I useless? ~~~~~~~~~

7. Wu Wang's grandson goes to school in the county and is anxious to rent a house. A familiar (Fu) person said one, and he quickly read it. Unfortunately, the master is not here, and the old man is at home. After asking about the room, he thought it was appropriate to rent a monster, so he asked, "Does the old gentleman pay quarterly?" Or' monthly payment'? "Hearing this, the old man trembled all over:" What stepfather and father-in-law? I'm his real father! "

8. After graduating from Sun Ba University, I went to a foreign-funded enterprise in Shanghai to take an examination of white-collar workers. As soon as he sat down, he was asked to speak English.

He was stunned (he didn't understand) and then said, "Don't (white) speak (fuo) Shanghainese. My home is Ningning! "

9. In the dead of night, there is a serious feeling in front of my head, and I don't want to live with her until I can't find it. If God can tell me to give it to her again, I will do it together [,I will get her a bunch of things and shout at her throat-I love it! You won't give me this. I don't think I can play ball for ten thousand years.

10. A Henan student is studying vocal music in Beijing. The teacher taught singing: "Sun, my great mother, you rise from the east and fall from the west every day ...! "I can't learn after teaching for a long time, but the teacher patiently taught, and the students quit, muttering," How uncomfortable it is, it can kill people! " Then he howled, "The sun is shining! Oh, my mother, on holidays (every day), I eat up the east riddle N (from the east) and suddenly put down the west riddle N (from the west). Do you make me panic? "

1 1, A (the quarreling party) pointed to B (the other party) and cried and said, "What do you want? ! "

Otsuichi pinched his waist and said, "You can do whatever you want? ! "

C (the old man who stopped the fight) screamed, "What do you want?" ! "Both parties fell silent and walked away in panic.

Ding (a foreigner) is puzzled: "It's all' Zhazha'. Why is the old man so embarrassed? "

12, Henan people went to Beijing to buy cloth. Henan people asked the clerk, "How tender is this cloth?"

The salesman was puzzled, and the Henan people said: Hard work is uneven.

The salesman was puzzled when he threw it. Henan people are angry and say, why are you so tender and so confused? Guys, you can't get me a light cow.

13.in the 1980s, there was a boiler room where people boiled water. There is a dialogue between a water bearer and a boiler:

A: How are you, Old X?

B: Fuck!

A: How about Old X?

B: Get out!

14, A: What do you have?

B: a broken cotton-padded jacket.

What's the matter with you?

B: Lice bites.

A: No?

B: small eyes.

Why didn't you hang yourself?

B: the rope is broken.

Why didn't you drive into the wall?

The wall is crooked.

15, there are two birds on the branch. The mother bird said, "Ge Yiren, go aside and estimate the exchange. It has withered my hair."

The male bird said, "Look at your poor bamboo. If you do it, you can't beat the cow! " The shoes are alive and alive! "

16, this night (yer's day), Tiger Lamb N asked Tiger: "At noon, I put a riddle at the foot of the mountain ∽ (caught) a (yo) person, and his taste was different from the original (before)."

The big tiger asked, "How does it taste?"

Tiger Lamb N said: "Different smells: the upper half (upper half) is sour, and the lower half (lower half) stinks. I don't know who it is? "

Great Tiger said, "That is definitely a scholar."