High score, the better!

1 a girl in senior three said ~ ~ I walk more than you eat salt ` ~

The fish at home died and floated to the surface. I shouted, "Dad's floating up! ! ! "

Last weekend, at the gate of Hualian, someone who looked like a student asked me to donate money for love. My classmate just had 100 yuan in his pocket and no change at all, so he blurted out-"I'm sorry, I really don't have love!" "(I was going to say the change was gone)

4 primary school students went to the army to express their condolences. The counselor read a letter "Dear Leaders". I probably saw a group of people under the stage, and my brain was hot and I said, "Dear martyrs!" "

One of my classmates and I were discussing the Three Kingdoms!

I asked the military commanders in the Three Kingdoms who he liked best. He stood up and said, "Haven't you heard of a red hare in the middle and Lu Bu in the middle?"

On the way home, I saw a stall selling turtles, and a small sign was erected next to it to attract business. I only heard the students seriously read to the small blackboard: "Ba -Xi- Xiaocai-Dian!" " Oh, my God ... It's obviously a Brazilian turtle.

When I was in college, my classmates went to Sichuan restaurant for corruption. I ordered a pig's head when I ordered it. After talking for a long time, the waitress couldn't understand. A classmate smiled and pointed to his head and said to the waitress, "Here! Pig head meat! " Miss: "Oh … I see!" " "Since then, this gentleman has been nicknamed" pig's head ".

When I was in junior high school, once, before the exam was over, the teacher said, Please put the table on the test paper and you can go out. I laughed wildly, and it took the teacher and other students a long time to react.

9 Once I went shopping with my friends, I was so excited to talk while walking that I stepped on an aunt and wanted to say, "I'm sorry!" " Excuse me! "The result is" thank you! Thank you! " Then walked away while chatting. ...

10 A sister in our dormitory often makes these mistakes.

Because we study Chinese, we all speak four words.

Her classic is suicide by jumping off a building.

And "cheated."

1 1 When we were in high school, the class teacher said, "Some students are afraid to take a ruler in the math exam. If someone asks you to draw a diagonal line for a triangle, I'll see what you do! "

Diagonal line of triangle? ! !

12 went to Hengshan to play in college. I was halfway up the mountain. When I am tired, I want to have a rest. I saw an Obasan buying souvenirs by the roadside. I went up and asked, "Wife ..."

Add one to 13: I went to work early in the morning, and several employees of the unit got into the elevator with the boss. One of the directors looked at the boss's tired face and said, Come on, boss, it's too hard for you to fly to Wan Li like this every day! As a result, the office building laughed all day.

14 I used to have peas on my face, which was medically called acne. I want to go to the hospital and say to the doctor with the registration form, "doctor, please take a look at it for me." I have hemorrhoids on my face! ! "

At that time, the doctor's mouth and eyes were crooked, and his mouth was open for a long time, unable to speak. Everyone who saw the doctor next to him fell down!

15 when the plane landed. I heard the stewardess say this in a very gentle tone: "The toilet is descending, please don't get on the plane!" " "The plane is descending, please don't go to the toilet.

15 The last item of the primary school class meeting is to sing the team song "We are the successors of capitalism ..." The teacher asked the monitor to start. The monitor cleared his throat and suddenly sang "We are human beings-(stretched)"

The whole class laughed so hard that they couldn't even hear the bell. . .

16 school uniforms are required in high schools. We boys sometimes only wear school uniforms. Once we got together, the students were all dressed untidy in school uniforms. The class teacher was furious: "Those who don't wear pants stand up ...! "

17 I remember playing by the river (by the Yangtze River) in junior high school. Suddenly, a water snake swam to the shore and his face changed greatly. He threw out a sentence: a good snake grows ~ ~! !

18 let's play with the old chicken and catch the young eagle.

19 When I was in high school, the head teacher taught geography. Once in class, I talked about China's minerals and coal pipelines. Our teacher said "China's vas deferens …", and all the "brushes" crawling on the table sat up straight.

Once, when I went to eat in jiaozi, my boss said that I had five dollars, six dollars, 10 dollars, and asked me which one I wanted.

I blurted out: How much is 6 yuan?

The boss is cold ... his face is red. ...

Actually, I want to ask how much is six dollars?

2 1 My friend's high school math teacher talks about rectangular coordinate system in class.

The student asked: Why do you want to establish rectangular coordinates like this?

Teacher: I'm so cheap. I just want to be so cheap (made)

When I was a freshman in VB class, a classmate didn't install VB software on his computer. She suddenly raised her hand and shouted: Teacher, teacher, my QQ can't be opened.

One of my classmates is a twin, and he is an elder brother. Then another stupid classmate actually asked him, "Is your brother older or younger than you?" ..... On the edge of a few students suddenly froze, followed by a burst of laughter. .....

At that time, in high school, girls were required to wear school uniforms and have activities at school on the first day. The next day, the weather was bad, and all the girls took their school uniforms to school. Some boys put on their school uniforms without wearing anything and feel cold. The math teacher looked at them in class and said, "The boys took off all the girls' clothes. " ........

The whole class was speechless and laughed 10 minutes. ....

Last time I had dinner with friends, I ordered five dishes, one cold and four hot. After waiting for a long time, my friend asked, "How many dishes did we order?" "I blurted out," four cold and one cold ",suddenly and violently cold.

Ah, there is an elevator in the air conditioner!

During the physical examination of the college entrance examination, a classmate was highly nearsighted, so he memorized the examination paper filled with E and still failed. We asked him what was wrong, and he said, I can't see clearly where the doctor's baton is. . Faint on the spot.

Last time I squatted down and went back to the dormitory, I just stepped into the dormitory door and heard my classmates say, "I really want to taste the taste of death." What movie was he watching at that time?

I immediately replied, "You didn't tell me, I just washed it."

The boss of our dormitory once said: take medicine and take needles.

Once in an Internet cafe, CS suddenly shouted after his death. MD picked a bullet without a gun and was laughed to death by people in Internet cafes. .......

3 1 once, a buddy went to buy China buns and said to the boss, "Boss, give me two pieces of meat." The little girl on the side blushed and dared not laugh.

Another time, a buddy asked me what to eat for lunch. I said the rice noodles I ate, and he asked how much it was. I said there are big bowls and small bowls. After introducing the prices respectively, the buddy said, "Is the big bowl bigger or the small bowl bigger?" With a puzzled face. ...

In junior high school, the head teacher was a giant bt. Each of us is required to take plastic to pack our garbage. One day at noon, the class teacher came back to see the classroom was dirty, stood on the podium and said loudly, take out all your thunder! ! ! ! (in a vicious tone) The whole class was extremely cold ~ ~ ~ and it was silent. . . . . . . .

A high school math teacher once said: "Although this solution is not rigorous, it is not a bad thing if everyone will use this method during the exam."

It is very hot every summer in junior high school, and some boys sit in the last row of the classroom with bare arms. As a result, the chemistry teacher came into the room and said, "You boys and girls are not allowed to go shirtless for me!"

The whole class burst into laughter.

There is a double-decker bus in summer, and the flight attendant shouted with a microphone: "It's hot for many days, don't squeeze the door!" " "Say that finish I feel wrong, and changed to shout:" hot weather, don't crowded at the door! " "

In high school, there were a and B.

A blindfolded b asked, guess who I am?

B said: I guessed right ~! !

A added: Ah, you guessed it right.

Then take your hand away and walk away.

I had a meal in the school cafeteria and made a dish to copy cucumbers. I found that the cucumber was stale and a little yellow, so I said, "Master, why is the cucumber yellow?" The master said loudly, "classmate, is the cucumber still green?" ! ! "I am speechless 1

I remember that drinking fountains were just popular in high school. In order to create a reputation, the school decided to equip each class with one. That day, the head teacher (male) hurried into the class and said happily, "Boys and girls, the water dispenser in our class has arrived." The student asked, "What brand?" The teacher replied: "Anerle". At that time, we were so cold ... later we learned that the water dispenser was Angel's. ......

I remember once telling my colleagues in the office that so-and-so was like a farmer, rustic, silly and cute. Everyone agreed, like a farmer, and suddenly the phone rang. The colleague who answered the phone actually said, hello, farmer! ~

4 1 One day I was watching "Muslim Funeral" in my dormitory, and my classmates asked, "What book are you so fascinated by?" I rushed to watch Stalin's Funeral, which made me laugh. Before I finished laughing, he said, "Hey, the author is Radar (Huo Da). At that time, we were just studying radar collision avoidance class, and I laughed so hard that my stomach hurt.

When I was a child, I wrote: Our lives were bought with blood by the uncle of the People's Liberation Army. As a result, when I got up and recited it, I read, "Our lives were bought by the uncle of the People's Liberation Army with fresh fish. ...

A student read "Wang Erxiao led the enemy into the ambush of the Eighth Route Army" as "Wang Erxiao led the Eighth Route Army into the ambush" ...

My mother has cervical spondylosis and puts medicine on her neck every day. One day I asked her, "Did you kill yourself with drugs?" My mother stared at me doubtfully and said, "I'm not going to commit suicide yet!" " "

Last time I went out with my friends, I happened to see McDull (pink pig) in the lottery of the unit activity the day before yesterday in front of a window on the road. I said to my friend on the bus, "Look, I am the big pink pig." Actually, I want to say that it was the pig I took yesterday. I was so excited that everyone in the car looked at me!

I remember when I was at school, there was a sports meeting, and no one in our class signed up. Our Sports Commission (boys) was in a hurry and announced in class with the registration form: I tell you, girls will "compulsory registration" (compulsory registration) if they don't register. The girl is angry.

Once my mother's classmate came to my house for dinner, and after eating a bowl, my mother wanted to add another bowl to her. She said, don't give it to me, I'm not enough. ...

Once, I called my classmate, and the other person picked up the phone and rang. I suddenly forgot who I was calling. After a long time, I said, who are you?

Friends get together and it's sad to talk to someone. "Tears turned red and my eyes fell out." No one responded, so I went home and laughed afterwards.

Once I watched good morning on Shanghai TV, the host in Shanghai blurted out: Don't come back after the advertisement. _ It seems that advertisements are so annoying that even the host can't stand them.

5 1 A new shop assistant is reciting something. An old lady bought a bottle of soy sauce. The clerk said, "I'll charge you xx yuan and give you xx yuan. Do you need a straw? " The old lady suddenly fainted. ...

When I was in primary school, when I was still illiterate. My deskmate read the ingenious plan as a magical chicken (machine) fried garlic (calculation)

I want one, too. When I was in primary school, the teacher asked a boy to recite poems. As a result, he was in a hurry, chanting "Zhumen stinks of wine and meat, and there are frozen dogs (bones) on the road." The whole class laughed hysterically.

Another time, I slept at night in winter, probably because the temperature of the electric blanket was too high, so I told my classmates, hey, you put the electric blanket in the fresh-keeping position.

A few days ago, the United States attacked Iraq, and my classmates and I were going back to school. His mother said, the train is too slow. You two should take a bus from Iraq. We fainted on the spot.

1956 At the beginning of this year, our group went to visit relatives in other places. We took Avik's car. When we came back, we stopped at the side of the road for a while before getting on the expressway. A few people thought it was a long-distance bus, so they leaned over and asked. A man sitting by the window shouted, This is not a rickshaw, this is not a rickshaw! Sudden sweating

57 to buy "pulse" drinks,

"Boss, a bottle of' artery'"

58 hours of singing: imperialism, imperialism fled with its tail between its legs. Great unity of the people throughout the country

As soon as I sang, the whole country ran away with its tail between its legs, and the whole class was in an uproar.

I just entered the office that day, and the same plmm shouted at me, "Xiao Wang, did you buy a newspaper?" Let me see today's special issue of sex. " I fainted on the spot. Even if everyone talks about "house" all day, you can't read "architecture special issue" as "sex special issue"!

When I was in English class in high school, my teacher asked me to translate an English sentence: an arrow whizzed past my ear. I confused "arrow" with "sparrow", so it translated as: a sparrow whizzed past my ear. So the whole class laughed and didn't have a good class.

6 1 When I was in the third grade, there was a chemistry teacher who was very beautiful. One day, she went to oxygen drainage. She said airway and fart tube, and the whole class laughed

Temporary Chinese teacher: Speak Chinese multiple-choice questions: Students, why not choose A? Yes, because A is wrong; Why not choose B, yes, because B is wrong; Why not choose C? Yes, because C is wrong. So this question should be chosen? The students shouted d in unison. Yes, let's move on to the next question.

My roommate asked me to drink sesame sauce and said, "What about black sesame sauce?" (My surname is Xu)

My roommate spent the whole night looking for her mask. Finally, when we discussed going to Peking University to eat chicken wings, another roommate shouted, "I'm going to Peking University to eat a mask."

My roommate and I went to eat shabu-shabu and walked to the door of the store. Roommate looked at the name of the store and said, "Brush it?" (The name of the store is Shuanshuanba)

There is an orange petal in Bing Xin's Little Orange Lamp. Students read "a gourd ladle of orange petals".

The criminal law teacher said in a case: "At that time, blood was called blood flow. From the first floor to the second floor, it is simply a river of blood ... "

The case class of the criminal law teacher said, "That man threatened the victim, burned down your house and blew up your intestines (I think he wanted to say factory)."

My former math teacher once said when drawing in class, "This is the X axis and this is the Y axis. I put a P here. " Wakaka

Last time I asked the teacher for leave.

As a result, I spoke: teacher, I want to invite you. .......

Tianyu staff: Chunchun, I will go to the newspaper for an interview tomorrow. People want to film the real you. Don't wear makeup, just dress up clean.

Chunchun: Oh, great.

The next day. I saw Chunchun wearing a brand-new pure white Nike T-shirt. There is also a pair of converse sports shoes, which my wife just bought for her. They are also pure white and have never been worn at all. Besides, there is really no makeup at all. The little guy asked the staff seriously, "Is this clean enough?"

Staff:. . . . That's enough. That's enough. It's really clean

1. The only difference between Superman and me is that I wear underwear underneath.

I am not a casual person, but I am not a casual person.

I am in Jianghu, but there is no legend about me in Jianghu. ...

4. Take other people's road and let others have no way out.

It is said that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. In retrospect, I actually streaked 19 years too many chefs!

6. I would rather believe in ghosts than men's broken mouths!

7. Clear water means no fish, while lowly people are invincible.

8. The one riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince, he may be a Tang priest; Not necessarily an angel with wings-mother said it was a bird man.

9. Time is the same as cleavage. There is still room for squeezing.

10. Two tigers are not allowed in one mountain unless there is a male and a female.

1 1. Never be careless with animals that bleed for a week. ...

12. I, a college student's life goal: peasant woman, mountain spring, a little field.

13. Remember, women must eat well, play well, sleep well and drink well. Once exhausted, other women spend our money, live in our rooms, sleep with our husbands, pick up our boyfriends and beat our babies.

14. In spring, I buried myself in the land at the entrance of the village. In autumn, I got many handsome guys. Then I changed the name of the village to "handsome boy village", and I became the village head as I wished.

15. One day, I dreamed that I spent all my money. When I woke up, my pocket was really empty. ...

16. I have achieved great success in losing weight. Look, my three chins are sharp!

17. The problem with chocolate is that if you eat it, it's gone.

18. Don't wait until everyone says you're ugly before you realize that you're really ugly.

19. If my friends can sell them for five dollars each, I can make a small fortune.

20. A big belly is not terrible. The terrible thing is that it is unexpectedly big.

2 1. The biggest advantage of blind date is that if there are problems in marriage in the future, you can put the blame on the matchmaker.

22. Women show their generosity first, but men dare not be stingy.

23. Life is in bed, you die in bed, you want to live and die, and you are also in bed.

24. Wizard, please tell the princess that I'm still on my way, and there are snow-capped mountains, rivers, dragons and beautiful women ... tell her to go back to sleep!

My lover is a stunning beauty, and one day she will marry me on a fire-breathing dinosaur. However, at the end of the story, I only saw her mount, but I didn't see its owner.

26. If you don't peel the bark, you will die. People are shameless and invincible in the world.

27. inaction and inaction, inaction and inaction. (Dai Jianwei)

28. The real meaning of the iron rice bowl is not to have food in one place, but to have food everywhere all your life. (Samui)

29. Sao belongs to Sao, and Sao has Sao Zhen; Cheap means cheap, and cheap has cheap dignity.

30. If eating more fish can make people smart, I must have eaten at least one pair of whales. ...

3 1. The success of life lies not in getting a good deck of cards, but in how to play bad cards well.

Appeared at the age of 32.0, and 10 is improving every day. 20-year-old dream, 30-year-old effort. At the age of 40, it is basically oriented, and at the age of 50, it is full of popularity. Playing mahjong at the age of 60 and wandering around at the age of 70. 80-year-old lesbians are very common, and 90-year-old lesbians are hanging on the wall!

When you were born, you cried and everyone laughed. When you left, you smiled and everyone cried.

34. Stand higher and pee farther.

35. Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let others find it.

36. After several decades, we will meet again and send them to the crematorium. All of them will be burned to ashes, one for you and one for me, and all of them will be sent to the countryside to be used as fertilizer.

No one has stepped on my head since I turned into shit.

38. You can't have a cake and a bra at the same time.

39. An expert looks at the door, while a layman looks at the sidewalk.

40. There are no roadside wildflowers, step on them!

4 1. I met a MM signature: I can't play chess and draw, and I am tired of washing and cooking.

42. I met a GG signature: Give me a girl and I can create a nation.

43. I met an old Shaanxi personality signature: ugly girls are more troublesome, and black buns are more vegetables.

44. I met our teacher's signature: I tell you, the teacher is very angry now, and the consequences are very serious (after his nth blind date failed).

45. I met a writer's signature: it may look like it, but it may not be.

46. I met a lover's signature: I don't have to count what I say, I like it every day.

47. When I met the sleeping king in my class, I signed his personality: three full in the morning, three full in the middle and six full after dinner.

48. 12 log off at midnight on time! Otherwise, the princess will become Cinderella again.

49. Hello, is this China Mobile? This is China Unicom. My PHS is broken. Can you send China Tietong to repair it?

50. I am an academician of the Institute of Advanced Diving, Chinese Academy of Sciences. The Nobel Prize has been disconnected for a long time, and the Oscar Prize has been invisible for life. ...

5 1. We want to fly in heaven, two birds become one, and I want to be a pig in the same circle!

Don't worry, I don't even have an appetite when I see you, let alone talk about sexual desire!

53. Although sleeping naked, plug and play. ...

54. Split up-do you want a piece of the action?

55. God said, "Let there be light." I said, "No!" So we spent the night.

56. I pinned Konka's TV remote control on my waistband and pretended to buy a new Nokia mobile phone.

57. If the morning comes later, I think I will like it.

I can't give you happiness, but I can comfort you!

59. Life is so fucking interesting, because life always fucking plays with me.

60. Buddha said, "Looking back 500 times in the past life, you can only get through once in this life." I would rather pass the world by 500 times in my life.

6 1. The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I rolled my eyes with them.

62. I am an actor. My eyes roll at the sight of beautiful mm. ...

Angels can fly because they look down on themselves. ...

I want to puppy love, but it's too late. ...

65. Oh, my God! My clothes have lost weight again.

66. I only trust two people in this world, one is me and the other is not you.

67. Don't speak English in front of me in the future, ok? (recommended by Aini)

68. Go as far as you want!

69. Rogues are not terrible, but afraid of being educated.

70. Please respect yourself, guest officer. Little girls only sell themselves, not perform.

7 1. You can't satisfy everyone, because not everyone is human!

72. A man's lies can lie to a woman for one night, and a woman's lies can lie to a man for a lifetime!

73. If you can't dress your woman in a wedding dress, don't stop you from unbuttoning her clothes!

74. Take the road of NB and let SB say it!

75. Water can carry a boat and cook porridge!

76. Zi said in Sichuan, "How nice it is to have a boat!"

77. Driving is not difficult, but there are new people!

78. I want a small MM with irrigation; I irrigate the head of the Yangtze River and you irrigate the tail of the Yangtze River.

79. Love at first sight, then decline, and finally run out.

80. A person is not alone, but when he misses someone.

8 1. Healthy and simple. Live, relax. Life is not easy.

82. If I can see my back, I think I must be very sad, because I left all my happiness ahead.

2. Many things will have various flavors when cooked ... so cooking? # 123; Always very particular.

But ... on the contrary ... something; It smells better if it's chilled. What is this?

Electricity.

Because ... refrigerator-> Electricity-ice-(fragrance) .........

3. Cars can fly. Please guess a drink ... coffee. ...

Because ... (car)-(plane)

We say that a bear without tail is called koala, so what is a bear without penis?

The answer is the female bear, because the female bear has no penis.

5. Once upon a time, there was a steamed bread ~ ate a meatball ~ turned into steamed bread ~

6. Once upon a time, a medium-rare steak and a medium-rare steak met in the street. Why don't they say hello?

Because: they don't know each other. ...

7. Q: One day, it took a bird 1 hour to fly from Kaohsiung to Taipei. But it took 2 hours to get back! Why?

Because it is raining! So cover the rain with one hand and let it fly with the other.

8. Q: What chicken runs fast in the world? What chicken is slow?

A: Chicken nuggets (quick)

Nicole Kidman (slow)

9. On the plane, a stewardess asked a little girl, "Why didn't the plane hit the stars when it was flying so high?"

The little girl replied, "I know, because the stars will flash!" "

10. Excuse me: Who gave you the water?

Answer: Aha ~ ~ ~

Reason: "Aha, give me a cup of forgetful water ~ ~ ~"

1 1. Q: What animal sticks to the wall most easily?

A: Sea (newspaper) leopard

12. Q: Who will help you eat when you are full?

A: Feilong, because Feilong is added in units of (days).

13. Which is dumb, the star, the moon or the sun?

Stars, because there is a saying in Lu's song, "The stars in the sky don't talk."

14. What's the name of this pencil?

Xiao, because: sharpen (Xiao) pencils.

15. Which anime character is always in the dark?

Tinker bell (robot cat) is opaque.

16.4 people are playing mahjong in the house. Why did the police come and take five people?

Four people are playing mahjong in the room. Why did the police come and take five people?

Because the person they play is called "Mahjong"

17. Xiaoming: "Do you know the name of boxing champion Ali's father?" Ruobing: "I don't know." Xiao Ming: "Idiot! Alibaba, of course. "

Ming: "Do you know what mosquitoes don't bite?" Ruobing: "I don't know." Xiaoming: "Jelly, jelly pudding, of course!" " Ha ha! "

19.4. (Health) Mom's name is peanut! What's the name of (Huaer)' s mother? -wonderful pen, because (wonderful pen gives birth to flowers)

Let me tell you a touching story.

Get out of here! (The story of arresting people)

2 1. There is a family ... the whole family is lazy. ...

Dad lets mom do housework, mom lets her sister do it if she doesn't want to, and sister lets her do it if she doesn't want to. ...

But my sister didn't want to do it either, so she let the dog do it. ...

One day, a guest came to the house ... and found the dog doing housework. ...

I asked the dog in surprise, "Puppy, can you do housework?" ? ! 」

The dog said, "I can't help it ... they don't do it, but they all want me to do it ..."

The guests were even more surprised ...: "You can talk! ! ! ! 」

Dog: "Shh! Keep your voice down ... or they'll know I can talk ... let me answer the phone ...! ! 」

22. Why do foxes often wrestle! !

Because foxes are cunning (slippery)

23. A professor of psychology said to the chairman of the meeting, "If you want the women attending the meeting to be quiet at once, ask them a question:' Ladies, who is the oldest?' The meeting soon became silent. "

24. Woman: "It is better for me to marry the devil than to marry you."

Man: "That's impossible, because consanguineous marriage is forbidden."

25. Lele went to the zoo one day to feed the monkeys ... threw peanuts to the monkeys ... but one monkey always put peanuts in his ass first ... and then took them out ... Lele felt sick and ran to ask the director ... why did this monkey behave so strangely? The director explained: because someone threw him a big peach last year ... the seeds of that big peach could not be discharged from his ass smoothly. ...

26. Devil: "Princess, if you scream your throat out, no one will come to save you!" " "

Princess: "broken throat!" " "

No one: "Princess! I'm coming to save you! "

Devil: "Damn it."

Ghost: "Who found me?"

Who: "What's it to me?"

The devil is dead! !

Once upon a time, there was a white cat and a black cat.

`````````````

one day

The white cat fell into the water.

The black cat saved it.

The white cat said a word to the black cat

Q: What is this sentence?

.................... "meow"

33. Which song has the lyrics of "CoCo Lee"? The moon represents my heart (

CoCo Lee, how much I love you ...)

34. What color can best imitate? -Red (Mill) Imitation

35. Jasmine, sunflower and rose, which flower is the weakest? Jasmine, because: how beautiful (powerless)

Jasmine

36. Which is dumb, the star, the moon or the sun? Stars, because there is a saying in Lu's song, "The stars in the sky don't talk."

37. What will happen when Kirin flies to the North Pole? Ice cream (ice unicorn)

38. What kind of flower has no children? Mayflower, because Mayflower toilet paper (unborn)

39. A mother gave birth to conjoined twins, and her sister's name was Mary. What's her sister's name?

A: Monroe's reason: Marilyn Monroe (even number)

40.

Xiaoming: Have you ever seen a tortoise shake its head?

Kangkang shakes his head) No.

Xiaoming: Have you ever heard a fool say?

Idiot said no, retarded said no.

The story of words

Kangkang: .............

4 1. Pig: "Chicken, why don't you take a bath?" It stinks worse than me. "

Chicken: "Mom won't let me wash it."

Pig: "Why?"

Chicken: "Mom says it's dirty to rub yourself back and forth in the shower."

42. One day, three little pigs built three huts to avoid being chased by wolves.

Wolves easily destroyed straw houses, wooden houses and brick houses. Three little pigs ran as fast as they could, but the wolf caught up with them.

The three little pigs said in despair, it's up to you. We gave up, whatever you wanted.

At this moment, the wolf grinned and drooled and said:

Tell me where Little Red Riding Hood is.

43.

Q: What do African cannibals eat?

A: people!

Q: Then one day, the chief fell ill and the doctor told him to be a vegetarian. What did he eat?

A: Eat vegetables! ~~

44. Little Black, Little White, Little Yellow and Little Red are flying. Who will get sick?

The answer is: Xiao Bai.

Because: white rabbit (vomiting)

45. What letter is the saddest ~!

Answer; F because FB (sad) I (ai)

46. Wolves, tigers and lions who play games will be eliminated-Wolves and Momotaro (eliminate wolves).

47. Why does the silkworm baby have money? Because ... silkworms can cocoon (frugal)

48.4. (Female guests finish dancing)

Brother Xian: Your dancing is really shirtless and methodical. ...

49. 13. Brother Xian: Don't look at Kang Kangchang like this. Kangkang is actually a hybrid.

He is from another planet. ...

50.2 Which country has the largest army, China, Japan or the United States?

A: Japan ... There is a singer named Ayumi Hamasaki (soldier quick march) ~ ~ ~

5 1. The sheep calls the eagle, and the eagle picks up the phone and says, "Feed the yang and obey the yin" (the sheep calls the eagle to feed.

52. Ten sheep, nine squatting in the sheepfold and one squatting in the pigsty.

53. Celery was walking when he suddenly felt a pain in his stomach. Then he hissed. What did you say he took out? That's celery dung (diligence)! ! ! What color is celery (vegetable) dung?

Answer: yellow.

Because: Qin Shihuang (Qin Shihuang)

54.(2) Which Chinese character is the coolest?

A: thong (cool).

55. Once upon a time there was a eunuch. .........................

.........

..................................................................................................................................................................................

59. Why do most Buddhists live in the northern hemisphere? Namo amit Ba

60. Why did the frog lose to the dog in the swimming competition? Breaststroke fouls frogs.

62. The mother mouse suspects that her husband is having an affair. She followed her husband to the grass. Then a hedgehog came out. The mother mouse grabbed the hedgehog: you damn fool, you said you didn't have an affair. Who are you trying to seduce by rubbing so much mousse?

63. On MSN, I wanted to ask my junior if she had a CD. As a result, I just typed in "My junior has a C" and accidentally pressed Enter to send it out.

Junior: "You hate it, but I seem to be more than that?"

I was sweating like a pig, so I quickly added the second half sentence: "... D?"

Junior: "Well, almost, hehe!" :p "

I'm dizzy! ! !

64. Young girl prostitution-famous Tongji! !

My brother doesn't like his mother's cooking very much, but he likes instant noodles. His mother scolded him, "You won't go out to buy lunch, will you?" Eating instant noodles is not nutritious! ! "

The younger brother talked back and said, "I just like eating, so what!" " "

"Oh ~ mom told you, instant noodles are really not a good thing. There is a young lady in your father's company. In order to save money and send it home, she eats instant noodles at noon and night in the morning. Eating instant noodles every day, she died three months later! "

-Brother (frightened to disgrace): "Really?"

-How could mom lie to you? "

Really? Then how did she die? "

-Um ... I had an accident while buying instant noodles ... "

66. Someone went to get it.