Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - How to be annoying 7 ways to be annoying
How to be annoying 7 ways to be annoying
Method 1: become immature.
1, noisy. Sing everything out loud Especially those annoying songs or nursery rhymes. If a friend of yours is listening to an iPod, take off his headphones generously and start singing (it will be better if you don't know the rhythm). You can also talk loudly and endlessly with your mobile phone in public places. If you are really talking to someone, so much the better. Remember to share your little secret loudly. Remember, you don't even need to know the exact lyrics in those songs, just pretend you do when you sing-the more boring the lyrics, the better! There are some additional suggestions. If you are watching TV, remember to hum the melody that makes people linger in the advertisements. You can also sing everything over and over again until everyone can't stand it and finally leave there.
Make animal sounds. If you hide behind people and make animal noises, people will be very angry. If someone asks you to make a hullabaloo about or accuse you, remember to ask him loudly.
Ask them "why". When they begin to explain, when he gives every reason, try to interrupt him and ask him "why?"
2. become dull. Explore the privacy of others. You can stare at one person and ask thousands of personal questions, or you can ask everyone around you. If you want to explore the privacy of any random person, remember to ask this question: Ask a man if he has ever had an abortion, ask a child aged 13 if he has been disciplined or forced to give up drugs or if they have alcohol problems. Sit on a park bench with friends and comment on people coming and going (loud enough for them to hear). Comments must be completely contrary to the real situation. For example, when a very, very fat person walks by, you must shout, "Oh, my God! Why are you so thin! "
Laugh inexplicably when there is no reason. Even if someone asks you what you are laughing at, don't explain why.
Another option: make up some obscure jokes that only you know, and don't tell others. If anyone asks what's funny about this joke, tell them it's a joke with special meaning.
3. It's ridiculous. Always walking around. You can't be quiet for a while and pretend that you miss it. Do some repetitive actions within the line of sight. Staring at something that doesn't really exist on someone's head. When you have a normal conversation with someone, suddenly open your mouth slightly and stare at a position behind their head or directly above their head. If they touch their heads nervously and ask you, "What's the matter?" Just pretend to shake your head, fight back a smile and continue the conversation. If you want to be more annoyed, just repeat it at other inappropriate times on the same day.
When someone asks you something, tell him, "What if you know? Is it used for cooking? "
4. Tell others in English that you can't speak English, and you are teaching English at home. Especially when you use some really long and rarely used words-words that only people who speak English fluently may think of-the effect will get better and better.
5. Use the toilet to tease. Tell others that you want to go to the bathroom. Tell others that you have been holding it for a long time and need to go to the bathroom together. When they go in, yell at them, "Are you okay in there?" If you want to be more dramatic, if there are other people in the toilet, just point to a friend's compartment and tell them, "This is my friend. If you go to the toilet, whistle out and tell your friends how long you have been going to the toilet (even if they don't want you to do so). "
Method 2: Become an Internet geek.
1 breaks the basic rules of grammar and pragmatics. Write everything in capital letters. When you really need to capitalize a single time, you should write it down in lowercase, or decide the uppercase and lowercase letters at random. Want to make all the spelling mistakes? Not only that! And punctuation marks are used too much, such as exclamation points! ! ! ! ! ! !
Spell everything wrong in secret. Be really angry when others can't understand you!
There are absolutely no vowels.
Simply change all punctuation marks into spaces, or make up some very strange words such as "eat no" as the end of all sentences.
2. spell everything backwards, for example, "I spelled everything backwards."
3. Try to be a comment stream. Show a desire to write down your opinions. If there is a video with no comments, just write "Oh my God, I am a sofa" or something on it. You can also write: "What's the name of this video?" Be aggressive when it's not necessary. Find a classic rock video on YouTube and complain about Justin below? Of course, Bieber is just complaining for nothing!
4. Dig graves in forums and BBS. People will be very dissatisfied when you reply "Me too" on the post published on 200 1.
5. Emotional expression. Rigid book language is also acceptable. If you want to be annoying, it is a good choice to use "no" as much as possible in various conversations. At the end of any conversation, say "I am happy, I am happy, I am happy, I am happy, I am happy, I am happy, I am happy, I am happy.
6. Optional: Always type "Xi Dapu _" instead of "Xi Dapu Ben" and then apologize: "Oh, I'm sorry, I always type" Xi Dapu _ "wrong, but I wanted to say" stupid ".Oh, no, it's" Xi Dapu Ben. "
7. Make up people who don't exist. Make up a virtual screen name and send it to everyone you know. Talk to them about this name as if he were your best friend or your boyfriend and just broke up with you. On Renren.com, create a public homepage with your own theme and invite everyone you know or don't know to pay attention to it. Make this character more ridiculous, but tell everyone that this character is also a reflection of yourself. Address this person in the third person.
Take part in social games, dress as feminized and ladylike as possible, call yourself by women's names completely, and learn to be spoiled all the time. If someone asks, "Are you a girl?" Then answer him and say, "Huh? No "or" I don't know ",whether you are a girl or not, will make this conversation disgusting.
8. On the chat page, pretend you are a child. Whenever someone uses an adult's language and asks him what he really means, or keeps saying, "I'm numb/Baba says xxx, you're just like him/her!" "Try to spell every word you want to say wrong. Ask some stupid questions, such as, "How can I surf the Internet if I'm not numb? "
9. Share your own things excessively. On Renren. com. Every step of your daily life has its own state. Very, very careful. This will make people very annoying, very annoying! Publish the synopsis of all horror movies on Netflix's paid website every 15 minutes on Halloween.
10, start a long and smelly email conversation with another person, but send all your replies to everyone.
Method 3: harass people in the cinema
1, leaked the plot. If you have seen this movie in the cinema, stick your head to the door and shout out the ending of the movie. Shout from the end of the cinema. You can choose: make up an ending or shout the ending of another movie, such as "Harry Potter died for no reason."
2. When the key part comes, just like when the murderer has been exposed or the couple finally reaches each other, sneezing or coughing will not stop but will be very disturbing.
3. Make a loud noise. In Gao Xiao's plot, he gave a clear laugh. Whoever tells anyone to talk has to stop and then say loudly how rude it is to talk loudly at the movies, because some people really want to know the plot. Let that disgusting voice add some soda at the end.
When the movie is shown, bring two or more friends to talk loudly. The more people around you, the better. If someone wants you to shut up, throw popcorn at him.
If no one wants to be with you, then take your mobile phone and boldly turn on the amplifier. If your cell phone rings, make sure it sounds as harsh as a fire alarm. It rings for more than a minute before you answer it.
5, the body is not feeling well. Make sure to sit in the middle of that row and get up and walk down the aisle every 10 minutes. Take a few steps back to the middle seat in that row. Buy some cheap, crisp candy, such as the best, and then throw it in the aisle secretly, or throw it casually on people in the front row or back row. If someone looks at you strangely, eat candy. If someone sits in front of you, start kicking his chair, don't stop. You can also cross your feet. The dirtier the shoes, the better.
Take your jogging suit and do some preparatory activities in the aisle. Remember to breathe loudly and move your hips like an expert.
Get up in the middle of the movie and walk to the bathroom. When you reach the exit, make sure the door is open.
6. If you are watching a movie with your boyfriend/girlfriend, you can stand up at the most critical time of the movie, which will drive the audience in the back row crazy.
7. infuriate the theater staff. Ask the manager of the ticket office if the movie tickets are free. Staring at the conductor for a long time.
8. Ask for the privilege to reserve a seat for your imaginary friend or disabled brother George. If they refuse, tell them something irrelevant. It seems that your father's asparagus is very special. Pretend that you really care about it. If they agree to your request, you will act as if you don't know what they are doing.
Method 4: Become annoying at school.
1, fooling around with your teacher. Criticize their homework or writing. Use words like "education law". Try to inquire about your teacher's private life. Refuse to do homework. Change seats frequently. If the teacher calls the roll, it is a good way to annoy him by making a fart sound with his hand instead of directly answering "here" Inappropriate correction methods will be better, for example, "I think when you say' Who asked for leave', you actually want to tell us' Honey, don't you want to ask for leave?' "
Whenever the teacher tries to explain something, tell him that you don't understand. When they say it again for you, tell him you still don't understand. Go on like this.
2. Always repeat only one number in math class. This will really make your classmates and teachers want to commit suicide. For example, "How much is 4 times 2?" "8。" "What's six times seven?" "8。" "What's five times four?" "8。"
3. Go on. At lunch, find someone, sit next to him, make him very uncomfortable, and then tell him, "Oh, my God, Bob, you are the best man ever!" " "If their name is really Bob, just call him Steve. Turn everything upside down, answer all the questions wrong or at least raise your hand to answer them, and always say "Whitney and Mianxian" in the end. Mention your friend's name and run. Say hello to everyone in the inexplicable class. Then ask the boy if he has a female friend, if she is his girlfriend, and ask the boy if he has a male friend, if he is her boyfriend.
4. inexplicable hugs. Make strange sounds, such as the flute of an ambulance, echo or smack. Record your voice and play it back often. Stare at the ceiling when people are talking to you. When they asked you what you were doing, you replied in a strange tone, "Like? Hmm? Sit there. " Or stare at the floor and say "sit down".
Sing some songs that embarrass your friends. Sing it again and again in a very unusual tone. "Bob uses his little toilet to shit. Bob shits with his little ass. " And so on are all excellent works.
5. Use your body as a musical instrument. Let your knuckles make as loud a sound as possible. Fart, burp, cough, sneeze and wipe your nose as loudly as possible. When you do something you don't need to apologize for, you can try to apologize to others in a particularly strange tone. Sing a word repeatedly by singing. Bring chewing gum to the classroom and chew it in the ear of your deskmate.
Don't cover your mouth and cough when you are standing next to the teacher who is talking.
6. Mess up the computer. Change the desktop background. Choose some pictures that will embarrass your friends, such as those of Jonas Brothers or a kitten, and use them to attract people's attention when they return to the computer desk. Messed up their system classification and data. Change the settings frequently. Change the calibration of the mouse or touchpad, or set the computer to open the screen saver after 30 seconds of inactivity.
Method 5: Irritate others while driving.
1, find a car with a funny appearance. Whether it's an absurd car with local flavor or a clean car with urban style, you must make sure to drive out during the rush hour, so that you will become the person who takes up most of the space with a nasty big car, or you can quickly shuttle through the traffic, like a person who is going crazy with anxiety. There is always a suitcase with nothing behind the car, and you can also put some strange things, such as "horses"
2. Turn on the car radio. When your friends are in the car, play some music that makes them uncomfortable, such as the theme song of Titanic or some really rough gangster songs.
3. Be sure to behave strangely in traffic jams. Anger, honk your horn If you wait for a red light behind a person, honk more and don't stop. If you like, you can put your hand on the speaker for a while. When stopping at a red light, put your head on the steering wheel and pretend to be unconscious or dead. Be sure to stay still. When someone comes to see you, you must jump up.
4. ask for advice. When you see a pedestrian while driving, pull over and wave to him with a smile. When you roll down the window, ask anyone on any road or next to you loudly where an imaginary place is. If they don't know, they will be angry. Yell at someone at will (such as "kimchi"). Then close the window.
Ask the shopkeeper nearby where I can buy high-grade mustard tuber.
Method 6: annoy the caller
1, greet him at an inappropriate time. I don't call until my friends are asleep in the middle of the night. If you can't get through, try again. If you still can't get through, you can call again in a few hours. When you know that your friend is too busy to answer the phone, keep calling him until he answers. There are different numbers that keep calling that person. This can reduce the probability of your being caught and increase the possibility of your friend answering the phone. Dial *67 to make the caller ID invisible. Started talking nonsense about the same thing. If they ask who you are, keep making it up.
Call the boss at two o'clock in the morning and tell him, "I just want to chat casually." Waiting for your dismissal notice.
2. Say nothing. When the phone is connected, don't say anything, keep silent and listen to the other party shouting over and over again: "Hello?" Hello? Hello? Who are you? Is anybody there? Is anyone here? Say something! "Then breathe loudly. Pressing all the buttons while you are talking will make them make a noise, which will drive the other person crazy.
When you don't talk, answer your friends with emphasis.
3. I left a lot of information. At the end of the message, you must shout, say "and" and then add some casual words, such as "there is a quail in the pear tree" or sing.
4. Call a stranger. Call a random person, and then cry hysterically and say, "I knew this would happen sooner or later!" " What should I do? If the other person answers, "Sorry, I think you have the wrong number. You just yell, "Nobody cares about me! "Then hang up. When talking about GM, say "this phone will be automatically destroyed in xxx minutes" in a robotic tone. Then press the button everywhere from 10 to 1 at the same time.
Imitate a busy tone when answering the phone. After about ten times, he said, "Well, hello." If they hang up first, then call back and pretend to be disconnected.
Method 7: Irritate diners.
1, chewing is loud. Forget all table manners. Chew as loudly as possible. Open your mouth every time you swallow. Farting, sneezing or putting your face in spaghetti is disgusting.
2. Become rude. Be sure to complain about food and service when you leave. The more ridiculous your complaints are, the better: "There are three slices of pepperoni on my pizza" and "I want four slices of ice, not five!" If there are balloons on every table in this restaurant to welcome the children, you can walk around, collect all the balloons and tell others what you do.
Dress up as a caveman and go to a restaurant. Leave the beard and everything on it. Stop answering "yes" and just say "oh".
3. The waiter's trouble. When the waiter asks you what you want, answer him "eat something". If the waiter recommends something to you, shout at the highest tone: "I'm allergic to this!" " Try pointing to a dish on the menu and ask, "What's in it?" "When the waiter answered, he casually said that you hated one of the ingredients, such as," I hate Lima beans! " "
Ask the waiter to leave five chairs for your imaginary friend. If they refuse, tell them that you will report their mischief to Santa Claus.
Order something strange or impossible. For example, "I want to eat a blue cowboy sandwich with toilet sauce on it." I also want an elephant, don't forget my last patent. By the way, how does Jason Chung taste here? "
Sitting at a "reserved" table or sitting alone at a big table refuses to change seats.
Be warned, some of the above suggestions will get you into trouble or be driven out of a specific place.
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