Who has a funny joke about Sichuan dialect?

Sparrows and crows form a dragon gate array together.

The sparrow said, what kind of bird are you?

The crow said: I am your phoenix!

Sparrow: How can a phoenix be as black as your turtle son?

Crow: You know shovels. I'm a Phoenix sulfur-burning boiler.

One day, when we were discussing how tall Yao Ming was, Sichuan PLMM, who usually likes to wrangle next to me, wrangled again: "How tall is Yao Ming? There is a man in our hometown who is much taller than him. "

"who?" We asked in unison.

"Leshan Giant Buddha", she said proudly.

Everyone fainted, and two glasses fell off. ...

A GG is not convinced: "Isn't it more than 70 meters ..."

But it was interrupted by this Sichuan MM: "Is it only more than 70 meters?"

Another man said confidently, "It's 7 1 meter."

So, you people don't even know some basic common sense. "The MM plausibly said," the somebody else sitting in 765438+0 meters, how do you stand up? "

Everyone fell to the ground. ...

"You let him stand up!" This GG is still unconvinced

"Well, people have been sitting on the river for more than 1000 years, and they have been arthritis for a long time. Try it for a few years if you have the ability! " They are completely speechless. ...

A teacher assigned a task to her students, making sentences with "pleading" and "demanding".

After the exercise book was handed in, one of them answered all his life: Yesterday my mother stewed a pot of pig's trotters. When it was not ripe, my father ate a piece and said, "Please don't move." Mom said, "I ask you to chew!" " "

The plane shook violently. Stewardess: "Ladies and gentlemen, there is always something wrong with the plane. Two engines are broken. We may have to do this. "

We'll talk about it later. "Passenger:" When carrying your mother, it was a wave. If all four engines were old, we wouldn't be in heaven.

Stay overnight.

The plane was buzzing with people, some carrying snakeskin bags, some carrying live chickens and ducks, and the security inspector was sweating: "Come back!"

It's just that you have to make up the ticket. You are overweight and old. ""why? Last time, two bags of potatoes made me too old. Another passenger leaned in and said, "Come on, brothers, have a cigarette." Look at my live chicken bag. If there is no room in the cabin to tie them to the wings of the plane, these balls will be old. Anyway, they can fly by themselves without consuming the oil of the plane ... "

Joke 7:

Before the opening of the Olympic Games, two Sichuanese traveled to Beijing and looked at the map in the car. A: "We will kill Tiananmen first, then Zhongnanhai ..." B: "If we want, we will kill all the way along the route you said." Unfortunately, it was reported by people in the same car. After getting off the bus, he was handed over to the public security organ, explaining the situation and being released after n hours. Party A and Party B came to Tiananmen Square and watched people coming and going. They were speechless. .......... Jia couldn't help saying, "Are you silent?" B: "You don't even open your mouth (gun), dare I open it?" As soon as the voice fell, it was handed over to the public security organs. A week later, the two walked out of the gate of the detention center. You look at me, I look at you. A said, "Leha, don't worry, all the bags are empty. Where can we get some bullets? " ..... The armed police at the gate rushed up and knocked them to the ground.