Humorous jokes about the two-child policy

Now that the country has opened the second child policy, I will bring you a humorous joke about the second child policy. I hope you will like it.

Humorous jokes about the two-child policy

1, the second child policy has been introduced, and no one has been found to give birth to the first child. Stuck in your heart?

2. When I have a second child, you say no; When I can't, you say yes.

3. After fully releasing the second child? A student made a mistake at school, and the teacher asked him to call his parents. The student said that his parents were not at home, so can my uncle? The teacher said yes. The next day, my little brother, who just turned one year old, ran to school with him on his back.

4. Four priests and tutors of Tang were having dinner when suddenly? Boom! ? A loud noise startled everyone. Tang priest looked up and pointed to the gravel under the road and said. Wukong, your mother gave birth to a second child. ?

Although the full liberalization of the second child policy has little to do with me? But what I want to say is that no matter how difficult it is to raise children, you have to have two. Because when I die of old age, I'm afraid a child can't make up his mind? If it's two people, it's different? They can discuss it. Why don't you unplug the oxygen pipe? B: OK.

6. The second child policy has been fully liberalized.

Struggle after 50 s and 60 s: whether to have one more son or one more grandson;

Struggle after 70: whether you are born or not, can you be born;

Struggle after 80: If mother-in-law and wife do confinement at the same time, who will take care of it?

After 90 s and 00 s, I am entangled: Will Xiao P be called brother or uncle in the future?

7. "Is the son a second child?" "Yes" "What's your name? I know, but what's your name? 」「? Ertai "

9.50, weak after 60: it's too late to let go of the second child. It's time to let go of the second room.

10. Lao Wang: Actually, after releasing the second child, we are the most entangled after 60, ready to retire and have grandchildren! Suddenly I'm going to postpone retirement! Suddenly you can have a second child! Is it a grandson? Still holding your son?

Xiaoming's humorous jokes about coming out.

0 1、

In math class,

Teacher's question: There are eleven students in our class. Now the teacher has brought ten apples. How can we distribute them equally among the students?

Xiaoming: If you want me to go out, just say so!

02、

Teacher:? Please explain the environmental factors and genetic factors! ?

Xiaoming:? It is a genetic factor to look like a father, and an environmental factor to look like a neighbor! ?

Teacher:? Old routine

Xiaoming stood up silently?

03、

The teacher is a little hot in class. The teacher took off his coat during the lecture.

Xiaoming:? Take it off! Uncle has plenty of money! ?

Teacher:? Go away! !

04、

Teacher:? Xiao Ming, do you have an ideal for study?

Xiaoming:? Yes, there is. ?

Teacher:? What?

Xiaoming:? Drive a BMW and get a minimum living allowance. ?

Teacher:? Get out! ?

05、

Teacher:? Prove that you are scum in one sentence. ?

Xiaoming:? Look at my grades and you will know how many people are taking the exam.

Teacher:? Get out! ?

06、

Did the teacher say that? Lever principle? Enlighten everyone: Besides iron bars and wooden sticks, what else can be used as a lever?

Xiaoming:? And bachelor! ?

Teacher:? Get out of here ?

07、

Teacher:? Do you know what Li Shizhen's works are?

Xiaoming:? I don't know his works, but I know what his last words were before he died. ?

The teacher was curious and asked him what he said.

Xiaoming:? This grass is poisonous ...?

Teacher:? Get out! ?

08、

Teacher:? If the headmaster and I fall into the water, who will you save first?

Xiaoming:? It is rare to have this opportunity. Of course, I jumped down and swam in front of you. ?

Teacher:? Get out! ?

09、

Teacher:? What would you do if a robber tried to stab me?

Xiaoming:? See if he stabbed it. ?

Teacher:? Did you miss it?

Xiaoming:? Take his pulse. ?

Teacher:? Why?

Xiaoming:? The key time is not in the state, and the speed returns. ?

Teacher:? What about the stab wound?

Xiaoming:? Let's show off. ?

Teacher:? What do you mean?

Xiaoming:? I can't stop! ?

Teacher:? Get out! Get out! ! ?

10、

Teacher:? Multi-digit subtraction, when the low-digit number is not enough, borrow from the high-digit number. ?

Xiaoming:? What if you don't borrow high digits?

Teacher:? Get out!

Jokes and jokes crack down on illegal counterfeiting;

Duanzi 1:

Lin Jianhua, the current president of Peking University. Successive presidents of major universities, Zhejiang University, Peking University. When Lin Jianhua arrived at the university, a student was a senior in the university. After graduation, he was admitted to Zhejiang University for a two-year master's degree, and then to Peking University for a doctorate. As a result, the diploma was stamped with Lin Jianhua's seal in the column of principal. When looking for a job, the interviewer:? Classmate, it's better to be professional in counterfeiting, and you can't carve more chapters.

Paragraph 2:

A student in a certain place in the northwest is ambitious and determined to become a doctor. The college entrance examination was admitted to Luzhou Medical College for the first time. When I arrived at the school, I felt that the school's reputation was too small. I decided to go back to my hometown to repeat my studies. One year later, I was successfully admitted to Sichuan Medical University. When I got to school, I was dumbfounded and found that it was still the original Luzhou Medical College. So I went home to study for a year and worked harder. In the third year, I was admitted to Southwest Medical University. Did you find it at school or Luzhou Medical College? It is said that people are crazy now, and cheating can't pit a person!

Paragraph 3:

A new fish pond was opened yesterday, and the fishing fee was 100 yuan. After fishing all day, I didn't catch any fish. The boss said that whoever didn't catch a fish would be given a chicken. Many friends went and came back with a chicken. Everyone was very happy! I think the boss is very interesting! ! ! ? Later, the janitor of the fishing ground said that the boss used to raise chickens professionally, and there were no fish in this fish pond. This method is called. Go to stock? !

Paragraph 4:

An old friend resigned from Foxconn and went to Shandong to find Lan Xiang. Which chef is better? Shepherd boy refers to New Oriental. I traveled across mountains and rivers to the East and learned a strong cooking skill. Oriental graduation package distribution, Nima! Still Foxconn!

Paragraph 5: