Upward joke

I went home by bus yesterday. There were too many people, and a woman stood at the door. A man came up from behind the car to get off and said to the woman, "Sorry, get off." . The woman didn't move. The man stepped on her when he pushed through. As a result, the woman was too powerful and kept scolding: "You are crazy! You're crazy! ~ ~ ",loud enough for the whole car to watch. The man has been silent, so he can't stand getting off the bus. He turned to the woman and said, "Repeater!" There are a few funny children behind, playing the scene just now. A said, "You are crazy! .................. B said, "You repeat the machine, Later, a younger sister of yours in ............................................................................................................................................. also wanted to get off the bus, and squeezed past and said timidly, "I ~ I ~ I want to go down, I'm not crazy ~!" "The whole car smiled again ~! The woman didn't speak, and a word came from my side: "Are you out of power?" I was laughing my ass off. Haha! The whole car is laughing ~! Answer: I went to KFC this morning, and the people behind me looked like a couple. They ordered a lot of food and sat next to me. After sitting down, the girls began to eat hard, as if they were hungry for several days, while the boys chewed French fries one by one, as if they had something on their mind. Suddenly, the boy put down the French fries, leaned down and asked seriously, "Qingqing, can I chase you?" "The girl didn't look up, just said," no! The boy asked again, "Is this impossible?" The girl simply said, "Not at all!" The boy froze, looked at her and stayed there ... At that time, the girl was holding a chicken leg in one hand and a hamburger in the other, thinking that the boy was watching her, so she stopped eating, and then looked at the boy with a bad eye and whispered, "Hmm ... can I still eat?" Everyone around me, including me, laughed out loud. The boy said helplessly, "Eat, eat ...". Because it was the day before yesterday! There are too many people in the car, which is particularly sultry. I don't know who farted, which made the environment worse. My friend can't stand it, and I don't know who it is. I can't help it It happened that the conductor was asking, "Who didn't buy a ticket?" My friend suddenly had a plan and said loudly, "Fart didn't buy a ticket!" " Suddenly, a particularly fat woman, holding the ticket high in her hand, said loudly, "I have bought the ticket!" 3. You're bad, you're bad, you're really bad, and you lied to me to watch the yellow tape. I'm so excited, I just want to have sex right away. Half-push undressing, legs apart. A thick and long piece, without saying anything, was inserted. Precious chastity has been destroyed, how to explain it in the future? On second thought, it's not bad. I feel very happy. It's your dish anyway. Play hardball if you dare. This trick hit me on the spot, and my posture was very strange. Let's hurry up with charming voices. Let's play today. Whoever loses first in the game will laugh even if he dies. From now on, I'll never be afraid of lai, and I'll never blame my brother again. Carry fixed assets with you and travel around to earn extra money. After sleep, my brother sleeps with my uncle, and after sleep, I sleep with foreigners. The investment is not effective, and the leg is sandwiched by hundreds of dollars. Sold out, the goods are still there. Wash it with water and sell it. Repeated use is harmless, and the skin is not broken and the meat is not rotten. As long as you lift your pants, who says a girl is not decent? 4. A man named Steward died in a car accident. His family wailed and knelt in front of Steward and shouted, "Steward (a natural death), Steward (a natural death) ..." Passers-by, seeing such a family, asked some puzzling questions: "Actually, a relative died, shouting' a natural death, a natural death'. His family replied, "It's Steward." Cao Cao said to the three of them that each of you should go to the orchard and choose a kind of fruit. After a while, Zhang Fei took out an apple. Cao Cao said, if they can put the fruit in their ass, let them go. Zhang Fei tried for a while without success and was killed. After a while, Guan Yu came out with three grapes and Cao Cao said the same thing to him. Guan Yu started stuffing things ... when he stuffed the third one, Guan Yu suddenly smiled, and as a result, he smashed the grapes and was killed. After arriving in the underworld, the prince asked Guan Yu, "You are so stupid, why are you laughing?"? Guan Yu sighed, "If you don't laugh, you won't die." "I don't want to! Jealous beauty! When I stuffed the third one, I suddenly saw Brother Liu coming out with a durian in his arms ... "6. One beautiful morning, the sky was very clear, but a farmer sat at the door drunk and lost his mind. A passer-by came forward curiously and asked, "fellow villager, the weather is so good today, why don't you enjoy it and drink here instead?" The farmer replied, "well, there are some things you can never explain." Passerby: "What misfortune happened?" Farmer: "I was milking today. I just milked it." The cow kicked the tongs over with his left foot. " Passerby: "Bad luck, but not bad enough." Farmer: "Well, there are some things you can never explain." Passerby: "Then what?" Farmer: "I tied her left leg to a post with a rope and squeezed it." As a result, a bucket was just full and she kicked it over with her right leg. " Passers-by smiled and asked, "Then what?" Farmer: "Well, there are some things you can never explain." I tied her right leg to another post and just filled a bucket, so she swept it down with her tail. Passerby: "It's bad enough. Forget it, don't be sad. Farmer: "Hey, there are some things you can never explain." Passerby: "What else? ! "Farmer:" I don't have a rope this time, so I'm going to tie her tail to the post with a belt. " I pulled out my belt and grabbed her tail. At this moment, my pants dropped and my girlfriend just came in ... "On Mr. Lin's wife's birthday, she asked Lin Sheng to take her to a strip club to broaden her horizons. Lin Sheng was so entangled that he had to do it. When she arrived at the gate of the strip club, the waiter said politely, "Mr. Lin, welcome." Mr. Lin stood nervously, but Mrs. Lin stared. Entering the strip club, the foreman said, "Welcome, Mr. Lin. Are you still sitting in your original seat? " Mrs Lin's angry face began to turn blue. At the beginning of the performance, the stripper twisted her waist and took off her clothes one by one with the rhythm of the music. Jiaosheng shouted, "Whose is this?" "Mr. Lin, of course!" All the guests said in unison. By this time, Mrs. Lin had fainted. Mr. Lin quickly picked her up and got on the bus. The wife woke up suddenly and cursed angrily: "you liar, bastard, beast!" " "The taxi driver said," Mr. Lin, the girl you are looking for tonight is very provocative! 8. 1, a very warm cheating joke. A woman and her lover were lying in bed when she suddenly heard the voice of her husband opening the door and entering the room. "quick! Stand still in that corner! " The woman quickly smeared baby oil on his whole body, then sprinkled lime powder and whispered to him, "Stand still and pretend to be a plaster statue." When her husband came into the room, he pointed to something in the corner: "What's that?" The woman said quietly, "Oh! It's just a plaster cast. There is also one in Cai's bedroom, which I think is quite beautiful, so I also got a home decoration. " The couple never mentioned the plaster statue again until they went to bed. At about two o'clock in the morning, the husband got up and went to the kitchen to eat. When he returned to his room, he handed plaster like a sandwich, holding a glass of milk in his hand, and said, "Come, have something to eat!"! Don't stand at Cai's house all day like me, I haven't even drunk a mouthful of water. " Comment: Long live understanding, this husband should win the most cultivated cuckold award! 9. Very "expensive" derailed paragraph. One night, a man walked into a bar and said to the bartender, "Please give me a beer." Bartender: "All right, a glass of beer, a penny." The guest didn't believe it and shouted, "a glass of beer for a penny?" ! "Bartender:" Exactly, a penny! "" "The guest looked at the menu and said," May I have a big rib steak with mushrooms, French fries and two fried eggs? Bartender: "Sure, but it's expensive." . Customer: "How much is that?" Bartender: "Four cents in all!" " Guest: Where is the owner of this bar from? Bartender: "upstairs with my wife!" Guest: "What is he doing upstairs with your wife?" Bartender: "just like I did to his bar downstairs!" " "Comment: Comment: Deal with a man as he deals with you, who dares you to do things that ruin people! 10. Little lovers go to the supermarket! I don't know why, I suddenly quarreled, and the more noisy it became, the more fierce it became! The boy couldn't bear it, and turned to MM to scold: "SAO B! "I didn't know that a shocking scene happened. MM roared loudly: "Then you still lick it? ! "