Selected jokes suitable for children

1. One less time

The father saw his son in front of the game arcade and said angrily: "You don't know how to study at all. You only know how to play games. I won't be able to do it ten times." I have seen you here nine times!" The son said: "I am one less than you!"

2. Enlightenment

"Mom, people really changed from monkeys. "Yes." "Oh, no wonder there are fewer and fewer monkeys."

3. Mistakes

The father blamed his son: "The neighbor Zhang's family is very unhappy." You punched his son's eye. Are you true that it was an accident? " "Of course it's true," the son said, "I wanted to hit him. Nose."

4. Why

Child: "Dad, what is this smoke?" Dad: "Remember, the smoke is the chimney." Child: "Oh. Got it! Then why isn’t dad’s nose called ‘chimney’?”

5. Asking for directions

A pedestrian asked a child: “Little brother, please tell me: these two "Where does the road lead?" The child asked: "The one on the east can lead to my home. The one on the west can't lead to my home...

6. Filial Son

Son : “What would you do if I came first in the class? "Father:" Then I will be so happy! Son: "Dad, don't worry, I won't let you die!" "

7. Sitting and eating in vain

During the meal, the youngest son always refused to sit down. The mother asked strangely; "What's wrong with you today? Why do you stand up to eat?" " Son: "In Chinese class today, the teacher said, 'It's all in vain...'"

8. Football fever

Father: "Hey, I asked you to buy a hot water bottle. Why did you buy one? football? Son: "A football is better than a hot water bottle. It saves the trouble of filling it with water." "Father: "But football can't keep you warm. Son: "Why not?" Haven't you seen the newspapers saying that there will be a 'football fever' around the world this year? "

9. The Pig's Son

Father: "You are so stupid, what a little pig! Do you know what a piglet is? Son: "Yes, he is the son of a pig." ”

10. Another question

Mom: “What’s the number in this question?” "Son: "5". Mom: "How smart to figure it out so quickly." I'll give you five cents to buy a popsicle. Son: "Mom, please ask another question where the number is 100!" "

11. Take medicine

Mom: "Why are you doing somersaults? Son: "I just finished drinking the medicine." I forgot to shake the potion in the bottle well before drinking it...

12. Repair rain boots

After a heavy rain, Xiaoling dragged her father's big rain boots to play in the water. There was a hole in the rain boots and water got in. Xiao Ling thought: This is easy to handle, just open another hole and let the water flow out. So, he used scissors to make another hole in the sole of the boot. But more and more water accumulated in the rain boots. Xiao Ling sighed: "How many holes do we need to open so that the water can escape?"

13. Counterproductive

"How many points did you get in this arithmetic test?" "Three points. "As soon as he finished speaking, "Pah! Pah! Pah!" Xiao Ming was slapped three times on his vagina. "Next time you take the test, how many points will you get?" "Next time I won't get any points."

/14. Never seen it before.

Mom: "Look at your hands, how many points do you get?" Dirty! When have you ever seen my hands as dirty as yours?" Daughter: "No, Mom. I have never seen you as old as me."

15 , Do cows smoke?

Two farm children were chatting, and one suddenly asked: "Do your cows smoke?" "Are you crazy? How can cows smoke?" "Oh, then, Maybe your cowshed is on fire."

16. Doing things

The mother said: "Don't leave until tomorrow what can be done today." The son said: "Okay. , give me the cake just now, I will eat it all today.”

17. Save money

“Dad, you can save money!” ?child.

"You don't have to spend money to buy me textbooks this year. I have already repeated the grade." ”

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