What kind of parents embarrass their children?

We always complain that our children's disobedience annoys us, so we always lose our temper with our children and even severely punish them. In fact, losing your temper with your child will not only fail to give your child a positive and healthy education, but will also seriously hit your child's fragile mind. There are many ways to make children obey. As parents, we must first control our emotions.

Do you often get out of control and lose your temper with your children?

Xiao W's son is one and a half years old and has a bad temper. If something goes wrong or others don't do what he wants, he will easily lose his temper and go straight to the ground to cheat. As a novice mother, Xiao W is also very helpless. Shortly after returning to the workplace, I was naturally depressed in the face of various difficulties and pressures. I want to learn more knowledge so that I can adapt to work as soon as possible. Xiao W's son likes playing computer very much. Every time I see my mother playing computer, he can't help but come and "make trouble". There is no doubt that this will cause some trouble to Xiao W, and sometimes it will be very annoying. Sometimes Xiao W will subconsciously not show his son too many tablets. After all, children are still young, and watching too much will be bad for their eyes. But my son loves to watch games like baby buses, and he can even be said to be "obsessed". Once when his mother didn't show it to him at dinner, he began to cheat endlessly. In a rage, Xiao W hid the tablet and let his son sit on the sofa and cry. Mom saw it, but she was very distressed and regretted it.

In fact, can you control your emotions? Can it also change the way children quit tablet addiction? After all, the current habit is also a bad habit developed as a mother.

Common causes of parents' anger

Psychologists believe that children always want to please their parents, but if they feel that their parents can't bring them a sense of security, or their body and mind are threatened, they will naturally give up pleasing their parents. About half of parents who often scold their children will be violent to them. Parents lose their temper and scold their children, mainly because of their own ideas and thoughts about their children, not necessarily because of what they have done to their children.

1, in order to satisfy your vanity; Some parents always let their children perform programs, sing, dance and tell stories in front of guests or others in order to satisfy their vanity. Many children often show reluctance and sometimes even refuse. Many parents often criticize and scold their children in public because of this, but they don't know it's wrong. First of all, they don't consider the emotional changes of their children, and they are willing to do so. Secondly, scolding the child in public will make him more embarrassed and his self-confidence will be hit.

Most parents want their parents' children to be the best. If they expect too much, it will bring invisible pressure to their children. "Mom wants me to be the best" and "I want to be the first". If children can't reach it, plus parents' blame, they are more likely to form inferiority complex, think they are the worst and the stupidest, lack confidence in anything, and grow up to be timid people.

3. Any quarrel between husband and wife, great psychological pressure, or friction between neighbor's mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. It will make mothers scold their children and vent their emotions. For example, look at things negatively, enlarge some small problems, and think about everything negatively. Therefore, when parents scold their children, they should reflect on themselves and whether they are affected by emotions.

For children who refuse to turn over a new leaf, sometimes we can't help getting angry and sometimes we can't help giving them some color to see. When talking about children's education, Yang Lan said not to be an emotional mother. Maybe there are many unpleasant things in the adult world. Your child is innocent. He is not your punching bag. Don't vent your dissatisfaction with life on your children. And often losing temper with children will have a great impact on their growth.

What effect will frequent tantrums have on children?

Parents often lose their temper, and children will become more "obedient" because of fear, which may lead to their own opinions in the future, and even become weak and lose themselves.

Children will become as hot as their parents. Children are good at following the trend. If you have frequent quarrels at home, your personality will become hot, willful and impulsive in the future, and it is even easy to get at odds with others.

Losing your temper will make family life full of gunpowder and make children feel insecure. Being in such an environment for a long time is not good for children's growth. In the future, the child's personality will also become hot, willful and impulsive. It is even easy to disagree with others.

In family education, losing your temper is easy to be imitated by children. I have read a story before, that is, a father was often scolded by his boss and quarreled with his wife when he got home. When his wife gets angry, she yells at the children, and the innocent children take it out on their little pets. Therefore, the result of losing your temper will only be counterproductive and there will be no change. Losing your temper in front of children is a sign of incompetence, which will not increase the authority of parents, but will only make people feel that they lack the connotation of self-cultivation.

Many times we will blame our anger on our children's unreasonable troubles, but it is actually our hearts that manipulate our emotions. We should set an example for children and parents to show whether the children's three views are accurate or not. As parents, how should we control our emotions and not lose our temper with our children? The following are some suggestions compiled by the author for reference only:

1, don't be opinionated, try to think and solve the problem from an angle.

The baby still refused to change his mind after making a mistake. It really annoys his parents to let us clean up his mess again and again. As the masters of emotions, we can also make ourselves more comfortable by changing our original views under such circumstances. For example, we can tell ourselves that children are from immaturity to maturity, and making mistakes is a necessary stage for children to grow up. It is natural for children to make mistakes and encounter problems, and they don't listen to many teachings. Maybe we don't communicate enough with our children, or the way to make them correct is wrong.

If parents can change their inherent ideas, try to think about the solution to the problem from another angle. When parents adopt such a reasonable view, it is easy to get rid of the trouble of bad emotions and have a positive emotional response to their children's words and deeds, so as to take effective measures to understand their children, give them care and support, and provide them with a good growth environment.

2. Try to adjust your tone.

Tone can convey your mood and attitude. When we are angry, we always speak quickly and our tone rises sharply. The child can already feel your anger in the conversation with you. Emotion is very infectious, and your anxiety also drives your child's anxiety and rebellion. Under such circumstances, do you think you and your children can listen to you calmly?

So when you are angry, you might as well calm down and count 1, 2, 3 in your mind to calm yourself down. Slow down the excitement and calm your voice. Your open attitude makes children feel that you are willing to communicate, not just "give orders", so children are more willing to talk to you. We can let both sides calm down, reflect on themselves, get through this transition period safely, and then face the problems and solve them.

3. Pay attention to your expression and body language.

If the pressure of life and work makes you feel tired and depressed, you might as well smile in front of the mirror or do some relaxing actions. Let your mental state get better. If you have to face all kinds of troubles of your children when you are depressed and see that the war is about to break out, stop for a while, or leave the place where you are talking for a while, pour a glass of water and go to the toilet.

You can also try to change the subject and think of something happy. For example, recalling happy moments before and so on. , so as to temporarily forget the unpleasant topic in front of you. Stopping thinking about unpleasant topics can temporarily avoid generating anger and punishing children's unreasonable reactions.

Step 4 relax

Life is not easy, everyone has his own difficulties, and there will always be impetuous times. We can't stop these bad emotions, but we can prevent them and control our emotions. You can do more relaxation exercises at ordinary times. These exercises may come in handy when you really feel nervous, anxious and stressed. When you feel uneasy, you can close your eyes and adjust your breathing. You can also relax your nervous body by stretching your limbs. When you feel angry, you can sing a cheerful song silently in your heart. These methods can help you to divert your attention and make your mood easier.

5. Give yourself a quiet time alone.

The pressure of daily life, coupled with the burden of taking care of children, will always make parents lose their "quiet" days. It is because we have to face life that we need to find quiet time and space in busy days. Take some time for yourself, do something quietly and tell your family not to disturb yourself. You can read books, listen to music or watch movies. You can also think about your life, your job, and the way you raise children. You will find that these lonely breaks are actually a rest trip for you to regain your good mood.

Step 6 learn humor

When you encounter setbacks and setbacks, try to think from another angle and joke with yourself. Collect some funny cartoon pictures, post them where you can see them at any time, and watch them when you are in a bad mood, or watch some jokes. Humorous and interesting things can make you happy.

Your humor can not only make you feel better, but also convey a calm and relaxed attitude to your child, which is a positive influence on his growth. Humorous way of speaking and attitude towards life will make children more willing to communicate with you, and your parent-child relationship will become closer!